Signs of Mental Illness

Symptoms of Psychological Disorders

Sep 28, 2007 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Mental illness includes difficulty thinking, socializing, & functioning. Here are symptoms of psychological disorders such as depression or post traumatic stress.

These signs of mental illness are arranged into six categories: thinking, feeling, socializing, functioning, problems at home and poor self-care. These are symptoms of psychological disorders - and none by themselves are necessarily indicative of a mental illness, such as bipolar disorder or depression. However, two or three of these signs of mental illness may indicate some sort of psychological disorder.

These signs of mental illness don't cover all the possible symptoms of psychological disorders. These signs are just the more common symptoms of depression, bipolar, schizophrenia or anxiety disorders.

Problems With Thinking as a Sign of Mental Illness

Has trouble concentrating, is easily distracted.
Can't remember information.
Processes information slowly, is confused.
Has to work hard to solve problems.
Can't think abstractedly.

False or odd perceptions:

Has perceptual distortions: unusually bright colors or loud sounds.
Hears voices.
Feels old situations are strangely new.
Believes hidden messages are on TV, the radio, or public transportation.

Problems With Feelings as a Sign of Mental Illness

Depression symptoms:

Decreased appetite, weight loss.
Difficulty sleeping, interrupted sleep, sleeping too much.
Intrusive thoughts of death or suicide.
Unable to make decisions, concentrate, or follow through.
Feels worthless, hopeless, and helpless.
Guilty feelings over minor things.
Loss of interest and pleasure in most things.

Bipolar mania symptoms:

Overly confident and grandiose about abilities, talents, wealth, appearance.
Excessive energy, needs little sleep.
Irritable much of the time.
Extreme mood swings with no provocation.
Speaks very fast, difficult to interrupt.
Is easily angered.
Excited, euphoric, overly confident, disruptive to others.

Anxiety symptoms:

Overalert and on guard most of the time.
Feels anxious, afraid, and worried about everyday events.
Avoids normal activities (taking the bus, grocery shopping).
Uncomfortable around people.
Compelled to do ritualistic or repeated behaviors.
Has upsetting, intrusive memories or nightmares of past events.

Problems with Socializing as a Sign of Mental Illness

Has few close friends.
Anxious and afraid around others.
Verbally or physically aggressive.
Has tumultuous relationships, from overly critical to worshipful.
Hard to get along with.
Can't read other people.

Problems with Functioning as a Sign of Mental Illness

Gets fired or quits frequently.
Is easily angered or irritated by normal stresses and expectations.
Can't get along with others at work, school, or home.
Can't concentrate or work effectively.

Problems at Home as a Sign of Mental Illness

Can't attend to others' needs.
Overwhelmed by chores or household expectations.
Can't keep up with housework.
Instigates arguments and fights with family, passively or actively.

Poor Self-Care as a Sign of Mental Illness

Does not take care of appearance or cleanliness.
Doesn't eat enough, or overeats.
Doesn’t take care of yard or home.
Doesn't attend to finances, insurance bills, vehicle, etc.
Pays little or no attention to physical health.

Specific mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar, schizophrenia and anxiety disorders don't necessarily have symptoms that fall into one category. In other words, someone struggling with bipolar disorder could have signs of mental illness from each category (though there are indications that are strictly bipolar, such as excessive energy and extreme mood swings).

Getting Help With Signs of Mental Illness

The only way to determine whether the signs of mental illness are indeed serious psychological problems such as bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety or schizophrenia is to seek a counselor's or psychologist's help.

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The copyright of the article Signs of Mental Illness in Psychology is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Signs of Mental Illness in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Signs of Mental Illness

89 Comments

Comments

Sep 18, 2008 4:20 PM

Guest :

Accidently I tapped into this-- Sad to hear the below-- Personally, I feel the most inadequate sadly thinking about how all has been lost. No ability concentrate- sad all the time- ugly and consistant thoughts of suicide... and killing others. This is so unlike me. I just to have it all together. Now, it is all darkness and dispair. Help

Oct 12, 2008 12:35 AM

Guest :

my son has schitzoprenia paranoid and my younger child has ADHD it worries me that she might or could her diagnose change to something worst. I sometimes suffer from asiety thou I have never been diagnosed, I would like all this question answered, but sometimes i am afraid to find out.

Oct 12, 2008 7:01 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

If you find out that you struggle with anxiety, then you can get help with it. Sometimes learning the truth is the best thing that could happen - even if it's the hardest thing to deal with.

Oct 16, 2008 5:09 PM

Guest :

hi iam a teen i feel so tried of life this is my 12th grade year i should not feel like this . i sholud be right now but i am not ! i tried of being in a foster home i feel so unwanted . and worthless i can deal with a lot of things that have happen in my but for some reason i cant deal anymore. i think its time to die!~

Oct 17, 2008 5:49 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

You're right - you shouldn't feel like that! Maybe you're depressed - could you talk to someone at school about getting some help? It's not time to die -- you have alot of good life ahead of you, but you might have to figure out how to find it, first.

Find someone who cares: a friend, guidance counselor, teacher, foster parent. And, ask them to help get over your depression or whatever you're struggling with....because life CAN be really good.

I'd love to hear how you're doing; please do come back and posst here.

- Laurie

Oct 18, 2008 2:34 PM

Guest :

my partner is showing signs of psychological health problems. i dont know what it is he could have and no idea how to help him. he wants to sort out his issues but doesnt want to be seen as "crazy" the biggest problem that we have is that he says that it's like there are two of him.good and bad. every few weeks he says he feels he's fighting himself to prevent the bad from being unleashed.when it happens he has no desire for anything, no emotion. just anger and rage all the time. he has spoken about suicide several times and has many of the issues above. i dont know how to help him without him seeing me as the enemy. over the years we've been strong but he's getting worse and worse every time this happens and we go days without me being able to speak to him because his temper is short. i really don't know what to do...

Oct 18, 2008 8:14 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Well, I don't know if there is much you can do. He really needs to get help - it doesn't sound like he can deal with this on his own. If he doesn't take care of his own mental health, I don't know if you can do it for him.....I'm sorry. I wish I had the magic words or the best advice, but I don't. Sometimes we just can't fix our loved one's problems - they have to take care of their issues themselves.

I suggest calling a distress line or a help line, and asking them what resources are in your area. If your partner is talking about suicide, you need to take that very seriously! Find out how you can help him get help without making him mad....and figure out how you can take care of yourself, too.

Best wishes - and please feel free to come back and tell me how you are.

- Laurie

Oct 25, 2008 9:15 AM

Guest :

HI my partener has Bipolar mania,schizophrenia and has only knowen a short time .I'm trying to understand how she feels we are engaged to be narried today she tells ne she has no idea what our furture holds . I'm not sure how to handel this i love her very much . I'm tring to proess it in my mind as well as she is . iI'm wonering should what should I do? this is all new to me . Wen she found out she was afraid to tell me she thought i would leave but i told her we would work on it together i ment that but seems she drifting away now she knows she has this and breaks my heart plz tell me how to handel this

Nov 23, 2008 1:04 AM

Guest :

I am concerned for my friend and think she may have some kind of mental illness. She talks in different voices when she speaks to different people and being the age of 36 it is a bit disturbing when she talks to men in a little girls voice. She has self mutilated in the past and seems to have an unusual approach to sex as if she is some kind of "sex addict". She often accuses males of "sexually assaulting her" but as it has happened on many occasions it is now a bit disturbing. She has a partner and often accuses males of harming her when she has relationship problems with her husband. She can be a friendly person but often changes into a nasty spiteful person without warning. Am I imagining that she could have an illness? How can I help her if she might?

Nov 26, 2008 5:16 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Your friend does sound like she's a little off, but....we all are in some way! I don't think you can do much to help her unless she actually wants help. That is, if she recognizes that she's creating problems in her own life and isn't thinking clearly - and if she asks for help - then you can help her find a Distress Line, counselor, pastor, etc to talk to.

But if she's happy the way she is, there's not much you can do. Give her doses of reality by explaining the definition of sexual assault, perhaps, and ask why she's suddenly in a nasty mood. Maybe she'll start to realize that her perception and behavior is a little skewed.

- Laurie

Nov 27, 2008 10:04 AM

Guest :

I'm a mother of three aged 7 months, 4 years, and 6 years. I'm a full time waitress in a nice restaurant and lately I've noticed that I don't like myself much. Husband was laid off mid August and draws unempolyment but is home all the time. I'm physically exhausted and have trouble concentrating. I sleep A LOT and overeat as well. My job of 3 years sucks and I do have three kids but I'm wondering if something's wrong with me. I get very irritated and anger easily. Like crumbs on floor or my kids out in public with messy hair or something really makes me bitchy and miserable, and being upset about it makes me even more exhausted. What do you think?

Nov 28, 2008 12:45 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Well, it sort of sounds like depression to me - but it's impossible to say over the internet! If you're unhappy, it doesn't matter if it's depression or seasonal affective disorder or just dissatisfaction with life in general - you need to deal with it.

How do you deal with it? Get help or support from friends, family, a counselor, a doctor. The solution to your problems and negative feelings really depends on you, your needs, your goals, and your options.

I'm sorry - I wish I could be more helpful - but I suggest you get help from a counselor or doctor. And, figure out what you want your life to look like, and start taking baby steps in that direction.

Best wishes - and do let me know how you're making out!

Laurie

Dec 8, 2008 12:24 PM

Guest :

Hi,my name is Fraser
I'm 17, and i have been through many psychological evaluations from professionals and they dont know what to think. they have thought i had bi-polar, schizophrenia, adhd, anxiety disorders, insomnia, and personality disorders. i myself am not even sure. I do have a member of my family who was born with and professianally diagnosed with psychotic schitsofrenia, so i might have his genetics
this is a basic outline of what im like:
I am very intense, often angry 80% of every day
I am a musician and can preform but i hate socializing, i am often by myself and prefer to have a few close friends instead of wide varieties of aquaintances
I can get REALLY depressed
I have experienced hallucinations
I have a lot of psychotic feelings
I sometimes am just pure evil, saying the most messed up things, completely cold hearted, but some times im really nice and spread mad love
I think clear, i love to learn, and i am over confident and dont like to admit that
I get upset really easy and am very aggressive
I do HATE to be alone so i need a friend over every day
Im very goofy and nutty
I can be hard to interrupt and speak fast and aggressive when im pissed
a lot of my charictaristics are controdictory, id like to see if these few things could help any of you come to some type of conclusion of a possible disorder

Dec 9, 2008 7:58 AM

Guest :

i fear of speking with people.feels that i,m dumb.i,m very stress all the time.i,m not socialize.have more confidence for women.generally i cant talk or answer others.this makes me very worried.all the time i think that i,m mad.i have always false dreams about my self every day i saw different things in my dreams.i have lot of confidence for that i,m most talented.icant stand around people try my every possible to stay alone.

Dec 9, 2008 7:58 AM

Guest :

Dec 13, 2008 12:50 PM

Guest :

Hi my name is drew, i have problems sleeping. talking, my thoughts are all rambled up all the time. i also feel very nervous around people other then my family members and girlfriend. sometimes i dont sleep at all and other times i sleep for well over 12 hours. Been researching and i feel like i may have schizophrenia but i do not have hallucinations, just all of the thought symptoms and odd perceptions on sounds and light.

Dec 13, 2008 12:59 PM

Guest :

Dec 29, 2008 1:52 PM

Guest :

I have problems with motivation. I used to be a great student, my scholarship program called me their 'star pupil' so it's not that I'm lazy. Once I got into college though, I had problems accomplishing even the most menial tasks, let alone my school work and did poorly my first semester. I'm worried that the only reason I ever did well was because I was obsessed with getting away from my mean, obsessive compulsive stepmother and because my father yelled and/or got frustrated with me if I didn't live up to his expectations. Now that I'm away, in a dorm, and happy, I'm afraid that I only know how to function when suffering and I'll never find the motivation to do what society expects from me again. It would also help if I had a fixed goal in mind, but I'm still unsure about my career prospects. That is changing though, I've recently decided to become a psychiatrist, and hopefully that will give me the motivation I need. Do you have any advice?

Jan 1, 2009 3:18 PM

Guest :

Hi all. This summer my father went through some major life changes. He was forced into retirement, his mother moved far away and his youngest daughter moved to the other side of the country. Only him and my mother now live together and he is very depressed. I also live in another state but am home for the holidays and have noticed some strange behavior that is far worse than average depression. He twitches uncontrollably..his legs or arms and hides it when anyone else is around. He has also been talking to himself saying that he's going nuts and I hear him when he thinks I'm not around. He also says "stupid idiot" a lot and I believe he hits himself. I think he believes he's going nuts from all of the twitching and the uncontrolled grunts..he spends most of his day trying to hide these things. Whenever you have a conversation with him it is always over the same few issues that he's worried about and can't let go. I just want to help him, but I don't know how to help him stop with the twitching and depression. I know he is seeing a psychiatrist once every couple of weeks. Is there something I can do to help him?? Please help.

Jan 3, 2009 2:16 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I don't know if there is anything you can do to help your dad, other than be supportive and reliable. And, I'd suggest giving his psychiatrist a call - ask him or her if there is anything you can do. His therapist would be most in tune with his needs, and could offer the most help.

Good luck - I hope your dad is able to move past this stage in his life soon. Sometimes, it just takes time and patience...but healing DOES happen!

Laurie

Jan 4, 2009 6:00 AM

Guest :

hi i am a teen 18 and i fall in love too often and become obsessed and the emotion is too much, i feel down and have strange mood swings.

Feb 16, 2009 8:31 PM

Guest :

When do you take threats seriously? I have a brother who's been estranged from our family for at least the last 5 years. He believes we all ganged up on him. He has threatened to kill people he feels did him wrong, including our own mother. We've always thought he's "all bark, no bite". But that's not the case now. I haven't seen him in years & saw him just recently & thought that he looked haggard & depressed. Our father was a psychiatrist and growing up was pretty interesting because we were introduced into that kind of environment (we lived in a commercial/residential area in a 3rd world country where zoning was different compared to USA). My dad kept patients downstairs & we lived upstairs. Part of his therapy is for patients to mingle with normal people. LOng story short, all of us kids can pretty much detect a "nut". My brother has that "look" now. We'd like to help him, but he hates us. Should we take his threats seriously now? How can someone get him to see a doctor?

Feb 17, 2009 5:01 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

If you recognize signs of mental illness in your brother, then yes, you should definitely take it seriously! Don't ignore your brother's threats to kill people.

Call a distress line, talk to your dad, see your doctor -- find some way to protect yourself and get help for your brother. Finding mental help for your brother might be difficult, if he doesn't think he has a problem, but you need to find ways to make sure you and your family is safe.

Feb 17, 2009 8:27 AM

Guest :

Need Help
My mother has been displaying irrational behavior for quite some time. Ever since my parents were legally divorced in 2001 she has been getting worse. She is homeless (by choice, she says her father is emtionally abusive and used to stay away from home all hours of the day) she keeps odd trinkets and things of no value. She has been unable to keep a steady job, and has been unemployed for almost 2 years. When she does find jobs, she makes nonsense excuses for quitting. She avoids her family and does not talk about personal situations. She is overly emotional and cries virtually every time we speak. I used to rent an apartment for her- but she lived in squalor. Her apartment was cluttered, she never cleaned the kitchen, her animals would urinate around the house and she wouldn't clean it up. She has always been poor at housekeeping. She says she visits a doctor the shelter she stays at provides, but I cannot imagine how someone would not notice her off behavior. For the past 8 years, if I speak to her face to face, it's like she isn't even there. I call her at least 15 times a week in an attempt to check on her, she never answers. If she calls me back I can't keep her on the phone for longer than 2 minutes and I have to ask a question multiple times to get her to answer. I know the seperation from my dad made her depressed, but all my life she has always displayed an uneven personality. I live in Minnesota and do not know where to find help. My funds are limited and her family will not take any measures to help me. Where can I turn to? I feel guilty for not helping her, and angry for the path shes turned. Her behavior has had a vast effect on my emtional health and I feel like I just can't do it anymore. I want to walk away but I never do because I'm the only one who hasn't. She's my mother, and I want her back. The woman she is now is not my mother. I feel like I've tried everything. Do states have mental health centers where you can take someone to be evaluated if you cannot afford the costs? I am worried for her safety seeing as how she lives in a shelter and wanders the streets all day long. What can I do?

Feb 17, 2009 9:35 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, and I understand you wanting her back -- the way she was, not the way she is now!

Some states do offer help for people struggling with mental illness, and you might have to do some digging around to find what exists in your community. Start by calling the distress lines, help lines, hospitals, social services offices, and other mental health organizations.

And remember that in order to get help, your mom needs to be able to accept help. I know a woman in a similar situation, who is content to live the way she does and so there's really nothing others can do! It's sad, but we can't force people to change.

I also suggest that you talk to a counselor to find ways to manage your own emotional health and well-being! You need to find a balance between supporting your mom, and letting her go for your own sake. A counselor would be able to help you with this.....because it sounds like you're nearing the end of your rope!

Best wishes, best of luck, and take care of yourself,
Laurie

Mar 2, 2009 2:12 PM

Guest :

Hello.
I am 18 years old recently moved to the US from another country.
I believe I suffer from something yet its quite difficult to explain.
I cannot stand being at home especially when I am alone. My brother is here but I dislike him and I usually have to keep someone here with me at all times or I have to be around someone.

I feel angered and depressed being at home and I constantly fight with my mother and brother to be let out or get someone to be at home with me.
Being alone makes me feel uneasy and annoyed, i get high mood swings and lash out at people.
Yet when I am at someone elses home I feel comfortable and more like myself. I dont fight with anyone or anything like that.

Im just wondering if I have a mental illness.
BiPolar and anger management runs through my family

Mar 3, 2009 1:24 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

The only way to know for sure if you (or anyone) has a mental illness is to see a doctor. And if you are struggling with any type of illness, you need a doctor's help in finding solutions!

I encourage you to talk to your family doctor, or someone you trust. Sometimes we go through rough patches in life - that's normal - but sometimes we need help getting through.

Warm regards,
Laurie

Mar 6, 2009 3:21 AM

Guest :

hi i think i have a problem.. a mental problem ..that's why i research the internet and saw your site..
i was disturbed when someone just told me.. she saw me smiling and laughing alone.. and some sometimes when im at work i just talk sometimes...
i just smile bec.. i think of something i think its hallucinations...
sometimes i cant control it.. but im trying to help my self.. by reading books so that i could focus on those words and to avoid hallucination... do you think it will work??sometimes i also forget things easily... but i cant see the doctor,,, bec im too busy with work but sometimes while im working.. itss like i can really do the job great but im..doing it.. you know like uncontiously.. but im on m some kind of daydream it really sucks...

Mar 6, 2009 11:51 AM

Guest :

hey. i am 19 years old girl and wish that i could be able to socialize with people but i can't and it makes me really sad. the doctors before told me that i might have depression or something, but it's just not normal to not be able to talk at all. i want to figure it out and i want to go out and do things. but i just can't. I'm scared to socialize with people and it's terrible.

Mar 9, 2009 4:39 PM

Guest :

I have a friend who is happy 24/7 like literally bouncing and humming to herself all the time. We have confronted her about it because it just seems strange... that nothing seems to change her mood she is just always happy. Is there something psychologically not right with her? We are her new friends and she doesn't seem to want us to meet her old friends. her family acts a little strange, different than our families. They are very religious, this could add to it but it seems like there's more.

Mar 24, 2009 4:25 PM

Guest :

Hi. My name is Dani. I'm 14 years old. Going on 15. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, so I decided to research. I get angry too easily, which is not normal. For example, when I see my crush or boyfriend even talking to another girl, I get overly angry and upset and jealous. I lash out when there's no need to. I have no close friends because I'm not good at talking, and am afraid of what those around me may think. I'm very very depressed, and suicidal. Sometimes, I get so mad the people Im talking to are scared of me, grow to hate me, or think I'm going crazy. I do need help. I don't know what's wrong with me. See, things at home aren't good. My dad abuses me, emotionally. So maybe that's what's wrong with me. I just need help. I want to be normal. A normal 14 year old girl, going out with friend, meeting different guys and having fun, laughing and having sleepovers and gossiping about this and that. Instead, I'm setting in my room, no friends, no sleepovers to attend, just sitting there thinking "What if." What if I was normal? What kind of life would I be leading today? Please help me. Pray for me, anything. I'm scared to tell my mom. Scared of what she would say, think, or tell others and what they would say or think. Espcially my dad. He would laugh. And say I have a mental problem. I know I do. I don't need to be reminded constantly. I just need help. I need a friend, someone to help me through this. :(

Mar 25, 2009 7:06 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Oh, Dana, my heart goes out to you! And, I admire you for recognizing that you need help and that your dad is emotionally abusive. You're very insightful.

A few things come to my mind:

1. I grew up with a mentally ill mother, and I ALWAYS wanted to "just be normal." But I didn't know what normal was -- and as a grown adult, I keep learning that there is no NORMAL. We're all messed up in little ways; some people just hide it better than others. But normal isn't something to strive for. It's overrated and unachievable; nobody really knows what normal is! How can you be something that you can't define? But, that said, if your behavior, thoughts, or emotions are destructive or hurting yourself or others, then it's not normal -- and it needs to be dealt with.

2. You probably aren't mentally ill - you may just be struggling with tons of teenage hormones that make your mood fluctuate all over the place, and make you overreact to things, like your boyfriend talking to other girls. Hormones are chemicals that do crazy things to our moods, reactions, bodies - you've heard of PMS, right? That's due in part to hormones. So, you may not be showing signs of mental illness.....you may just be a normal teen, coping with normal circumstances. And no matter how normal people are, they still overreact sometimes! It's just part of being human.

3. The worst thing to do when you're dealing with anything difficult in life is to NOT talk to people about it. When you talk about your feelings and thoughts, you often realize that they aren't as "bad" as you thought -- just saying things out loud can make you feel better, and help you realize that you're going to be okay. Plus, talking about it allows others to say "Hey! I've been there too, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! Here's what worked for me....". If you really, really don't want to talk to your mom, talk to the guidance counselor, a favorite teacher, your pastor, your friend's mom, your aunt, or any adult you trust.

To find out if you're struggling with a mental illness or just dealing with your own personality traits, which sometimes lead to overreacting to stuff, you need to talk to a counselor or doctor. I can't tell you what you need to know, because I don't know you.....but you need to talk to someone in person.

It's scary - but, what's worse? Avoiding your problems, or dealing with them? (many people people choose avoidance, which leads to worse problems!).

Do update me,
Laurie

Apr 2, 2009 6:13 PM

Guest :

Hi. I am a 16 year old girl and i need some help. Since i was younger, sometimes at night when i try to go to sleep, i feel very heay and then i start to hear alot of voices in my head, the tempo of some are very fast, and the others, the tempo is very slow. When i get up and walk, there is a big thud in my head every time i take a step, then the voices continue. If anyone talks to me when this happens, there voice sounds very loud and the tempo is very fast. Things seem either very close or very far away. This sometimes happens in the daytime too. When i walk places, when i hear people laugh, i always think they are laughing at me and think that people are going to batter me as they did until i was 13 years old. I keep getting sharp pains in both sides of my head and keep wakung up feeling dizzy. I have a very short temper and sometimes end up hitting things like walls and doors. I lose my concentration very easily and always have to fidget with something. I am also always very hyperactive all the time but i sometimes feel down for unknown reasons. Please could anyone help me? I don't want to go to a doctor because i hate them and i think that they will think i am crazy. Thankyou to anyone who can help me.

Apr 3, 2009 6:36 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

If you find the right doctor, he/she won't think you're crazy -- but he'll be able to help you deal with whatever's happening!

A medical condition or mental health issue can't be diagnosed and treated over the internet. You need to set aside your feelings about doctors, and get the help you need -- otherwise you could be dealing with this for the rest of your life.

I encourage you to talk to an adult you trust, and ask for their help in making an appointment with someone.

Let me know when you do this -- I'd love an update!

All best,
Laurie

Apr 4, 2009 4:05 PM

Guest :

Hi there, I am worried there is something wrong with me. I have lost all interest in a job I used to love, I have made up stuff to get out of going in and when I do go I am almost always late. I have had trouble sleeping for a long time but I am just getting less and less these days. I frequently take double my dosage of painkillers which I know is stupid but I can't seem to stop. I also have a problem with hurting my cats. It absolutely disgusts me that I do it and it is not a malicious thing, if one of them scratches or claws me, I tend to hit them. I hate that I do it and I break down after I have but again I can't seem to stop. I don't hurt myself but I do think about it and I have done in the past.
I suffered from depression as a teenager but I thought I had grown out of it, I am 27 now. I was in a two year abusive relationship which ended like 5 years ago. I have tried talking through some of these issues with my doctor but he seems unwilling to do anything about them, he just keeps telling me to stick it out for another 6 months and then we'll see.
I am worried that there is something really wrong with me, what should I do? Please help!

Apr 5, 2009 8:35 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Don't ignore these signs of depression and unhappiness any more! I can see letting it go for 3 or maybe 6 months, but it's time to take action.

You have several options, such as seeing a different doctor, reading up on depression, taking an online depression test, talking to a counselor, or calling a distress or help line for guidance. Also, telling a close friend or family member how you feel and how you've been reacting to your cats is really important! It's so healthy to talk about stuff -- and the less you want to talk about it, the more important it is to get it out.

I also suggest filling your life with things you love to do -- from the big stuff (travel, changing jobs, moving to a new city) to the little things (taking a class, taking up old hobbies, going on a day-long road trip).

After you've taken a step or two towards solving your problems, let me know how things go! It might be easier than you think to get yourself back to "normal".......

Apr 19, 2009 9:33 PM

Guest :

I am so worried abouth my son; he is 18 years old, and he was diagnosed with schizofrenia.He does not want to go to the doctor.He lives on the streets.He hurts himsself. he talks abouth dying.he believes that I want to hurt him. I dont know wht to do. How can I help him?

Apr 20, 2009 6:04 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I've heard that the majority of the people living on the streets struggle with mental illness - and schizophrenia is one of the more common ones. I'm sorry your son is dealing with it; it's such a tough disease!

Please call your local experts, who run the drop in centers, food banks, soup kitchens, and shelters. I don't know what services are available in your area, but the people who work there would have a good idea of how you can help your son.

Trying to reason with him or coerce him into getting help may not be effective, because he may not be thinking rationally. As far as he's concerned, he's behaving normally and everyone else is having problems! It's hard to break through that type of thinking.

I'd also suggest finding a schizophrenia support group, and meeting with them regularly. You need to be with people who are dealing with similar situations, and to talk your feelings through! They'd also be a good source of ideas or ways to help your son.

I hope this helps a little, and wish you the best of luck. Do let me know how you're getting on.

Laurie

May 25, 2009 9:50 AM

Guest :

if everyone was without any one of these "disorders" wouldn't the world seem a little like I-Robot?

May 26, 2009 1:39 PM

Guest :

Hi I have grown up with mental illness in my family and My ex-husband has sever anger issues that has landed him in jail a few times. Now to the problem, my 16 year old son is displaying explosive anger over the smallest things. He screams at me to "F" off, punches things, breaks stuff, then he cries and feels shameful. When he is angry he scares me, when he is not angry he is such a delight that is hard to believe that he could ever be angry. Its alarming because it the same person but the extreme changes in behavior would make one think its a totally different person. These outburst are becoming more frequent, at least once a day, is this normal behavior for a teen or should I take him to see a doctor.

May 26, 2009 3:20 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Teens are more prone to emotional outbursts because of their hormone fluctuations, but your son's outbursts seem uncontrollable and frightening. That, and the fact that they're increasing in frequency, make me think that seeing a doctor or counselor would be wise -- especially in light of your ex-husband's anger issues.

It's always better to be safe than sorry. Take him in for a little check up -- and if it's normal behavior for a teen, that's great! You'll just live it out. But if it's not, you'll be able to deal with it now, before it escalates.

Best of luck,
Laurie

Jun 3, 2009 7:39 AM

Guest :

Hassan:
hey we have to do a research in school about suicide., can i have an idea for presenting it infront of the teacher and friends., and about (Misciellaneous) in general.

Jun 19, 2009 3:26 PM

Guest :

my friend is 19 and has had many things in his past that he has resentment to and has had quite a few relationship problems. he tends to get very attached to a girl really quick, most of the time too quick so the girl leaves him. he is anxious to find the right girl, get married, have kids and settle down. when his past relationships have failed he feels his whole world comes crashing down which causes him to only see the bad in his life which makes him feel very depressed and alone. he has said he wants to die many times. he sais he wants it all to end. he's even given me a goodbye note. but he has not attempted suicide and he does not hurt himself. he thinks music somehow speaks to him and the television sends him hidden messages. i always try talking to him by making him feel cared about and wanted. i try to make him realize everything he has. it usually works but not for long. Is there anything else i can do for him or is it beyond anything i can do?

Jun 20, 2009 9:34 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

You're being a good friend! You're supportive and caring, which goes a long way.

However, not only is your friend showing signs of mental illness - it sounds a little like he's showing symptoms schizophrenia. He'd need to see a doctor in person to make a diagnosism though.

For any mental illness, support and friendship is wonderful! But, it can't treat the underlying mental health issue, as you're finding with your friend.

I suggest talking to his parents -- or, even better, persuading him to see a doctor. But sometimes a person struggling with mental illness isn't eager to see the doctor, which is where parents, partners, or other family members come in.

Again, you're being a good friend! But, I caution you not to ignore his good-bye notes or signs of mental illness, because he could do something destructive.

Another option is to call a local distress line or suicide helpline. They'll be able to tell you what resources for mental illness exist in your area.

Good luck! Let me know how things go.

Laurie

Jun 21, 2009 6:02 PM

Guest :

i think something might be wrong with my 9 year old daughter. She is showing signs of puberty. But she has also began behaving strangely. She doesn't communicate verbally like she used to. She has a hearing deficit but is fine with her hearing aids in. This evening she completely closed down and her pupils became large, and her eyelids where drooping half way. When trying to talk to her it was like no one was home. Our ins. does not pay for mental health. could this be hormone related, or is this normal for a 9 year old to just shut down.
Other family members have also noticed a social change in her "she behaves wierd" they say. Almost like a three year old at times. She is a very good student, and has participated in several camps this summer doing well with all. your input would be greatly appreciated
thank you c. bosch

Jun 22, 2009 6:03 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I suggest taking your daughter to your family doctor or a school pychologist. The only way to know for sure what she's going through - whether it's pre-teen angst, a physical health condition, or a mental illness - is to get a professional opinion. The sooner you figure out what's going on, the better able you'll be to find the best treatment.

Good luck, and do let me know what the doctor or counselor says,
Laurie

Jun 26, 2009 8:44 AM

Guest :

i am 21 and lately i have been feeling like i can not do anything right. its like my mind is not functioning correctly. i can not remember anything and i have found it increasingly hard to focus on anything. i am supposed to be writing an essay right now, but i just can't focus. i have been feeling a little depressed here lately also. when i was 15 i was diagnosed with depression, but i stopped taking the medicine when i was 16. i hated the way i felt. also i have been losing my temper at the smallest things lately and every little thing makes me cry like the world is ending. i have no insurence and i can not afford a doctor right now. do you have any idea what is wrong with me?

Jun 26, 2009 10:54 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm sorry -- it's impossible for anyone to tell you what's wrong over the internet, without actually seeing you! Even doctors should do this, because it's unethical. There are too many things that are going on, and it's so difficult to get a sense of all those things over the internet.

Something to consider: your symptoms may not be "signs of mental illness" as such. Are you eating properly? Getting the proper nutrients and vitamins every day is CRUCIAL to your mental and emotional health! If you're not eating a balanced diet and drinking enough water, you'll feel confused, sluggish, unhealthy, fatigued, and generally bad all over. Even some signs of depression are caused by not eating properly.

I'm not saying that all you need to do is eat well, and your problems will disappear. Rather, I'm pointing out that you need to see someone in person!

There are free clinics and distress lines; I suggest you look for those types of in-person support in your area. You're clearly struggling with something, and it could be mild depression or anxiety -- or it could be lack of nutrients. I wish you could afford to see a doctor! But again -- the free resources may be helpful to you.

I wish I could be more helpful, and encourage you to take a look at your diet, sleep, and lifestyle habits. Do come back and let me know how you are -- and try to find free support in your community!

All best,
Laurie

Jul 5, 2009 4:23 PM

Guest :

Hello Laurie,
I am very concerned about my ex girlfriend. We stopped talking for about 2 years, but have recently come back into each others life. She is sooo intelligent and smart. I am starting to agree with the saying that “There is a thin line between genius and crazy”. She is brilliant, BUT I fear she is little off mentally, along with some others that used to be close to her (one says bipolar, another schizophrenia). I have researched online trying to figure out what her diagnostics is. When we dated she was very unclean--not to say she didn't take a bath, but she was messy and wouldn't wash her clothes. So I did it for her and found a critter in her clothes. She also doesn't seem to have any close friends, and it is because she does things to push them away it seems. She faults them (with reasonable reasons, yes, but she never sees her own faults in what she has done. The whole time we were together (4 months), her "work" was an entrepreneur (constantly on the computer)--no incoming funds. Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with, but the weird thing was her notes consisted of various numbers that look like scribble with no meaning. Gibberish. Just a bunch of numbers. She went around to a bunch of house properties that go for millions of dollars, and made appointments with the salesperson to walk thru them, and one of them she made arrangement to buy the place (keep in mind she doesn’t have any money). Lastly, she makes comments to me while we have been broken up--such as: I want to buy you a yacht and name it after you, or I want to get a place next to you and watch you thru your window. I feel she says these things to show that she cares for me, but again she is my ex and she is still with a guy that came in between us and had started seeing while we were together (in 2005). It kind of hurts when she makes statements like this, because I feel she doesn't mean it because she is still with this guy. I just wanted to get your thoughts on this, and if you think there is something mentally wrong. How do I go about getting her to get help without her completely shutting me out. I really care for, and never stopped loving her all these years, and just want her to confront the issue--if there is one. Any suggestions and thoughts will be greatly appreciated

Jul 6, 2009 5:49 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

It does sound like your ex-girlfriend needs help -- hygiene is very often neglected when people are struggling with mental health issues.

I suggest you make it clear that you love her as a friend, and you can't go back to your old relationship. Be firm that your friendship now is as far as it goes.

You may have to get comfortable with the idea that getting help for her or talking about her "issues" may put a rift in your friendship. It could be temporary -- and you could resume your friendship after she's more stable -- or it could be a permanent rift. If she is struggling with a more serious mental illness, then she won't just happily accept your perspective and suggestions! Or, maybe she'll be relieved that someone cared enough to notice and help her. I don't know -- it depends on her.

Regarding getting help, I'd do two things: 1) gently point out her abnormal behaviors and ask what she thinks is going on; and 2) call a local distress line, hospital, counseling center, community health center -- any place that offers mental health services. They'll be able to tell you what services are available in your area. Plus, talking to someone in person or over the phone will help you clarify things in your own head.

It's a tough situation, and definitely puts you in an awkward position! But she's lucky to have you for a friend.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes,
Laurie

Jul 6, 2009 6:34 AM

Guest :

Hello. I know a bubbly five-year-old boy, with two older and two younger siblings. He is generally full of life and physically healthy, but shows some worrying tendencies. He dislikes making friends in his own age-group, and usually prefers to play rough games with older boys. He has a very vivid imagination and often vocally fantasizes about inflicting violence or torture on someone. He is fascinated with guns, and likes to say shocking things to his parents and siblings. Does he just say them to frighten them, or is he really attracted to violence? At school, he has trouble learning to read and to do math, but shows intelligence in concocting bawdy practical jokes, or in inventing tricks to irritate his sisters. He likes to play football and is good at it. I feel a little worried about what he might grow up to be. Do you think he has a mental illness or a personality disorder? What kind of help does his family need to seek?

Jul 6, 2009 7:25 AM

Guest :

Hi, looking for help or directions. My sister is 49 and has mental disease most of her adult life. local mental centers just give her meds and they make her worse. No proper dignoses because no insurence. Shae has beeen living with my eldery mother for years and is terrerizing her. We have had her involuntarly committed three times, same thing happens they dope her up for 30 days and send her right back home to the local mental center. Nothing changes and she is getting worse. Dont know where to turn !!!

Jul 6, 2009 9:27 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Regarding the little boy with violent tendencies: the only way to determine if he has a personality disorder or some sort of mental illness is to take him to a school or child psychologist. An online diagnosis is impossible -- in fact, testing and diagnosing someone in person for any kind of physical or emotional health issue isn't always 100% accurate, either.

Some kids have vivid imaginations and aggressive tendencies, but not necessarily a personality disorder or sociopathic leanings. Others hide their violent tendencies until they lash out (like the boys at Columbine).

Getting this boy tested is the best way to determine if something is amiss -- or if he's just on the extreme end of imagination and "just being a boy."

Sorry I can't be more helpful. Is there a child psychologist or school counselor in your area?

Laurie

Jul 6, 2009 9:40 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Regarding the 49 year old sister with the mental illness: I'm sorry for your situation. How stressful for your and your mom -- and for your sister, too (this can't be fun for her, either!). Very sad.

I don't know what the options are in your area, but I suggest calling places you haven't already been to: a senior's help line, distress line, community health centers, even a suicide hotline. You can't keep doing what's already been done, as you well know!

I suggest focusing on getting your mom her own place. You might not be able to help your sister any more than you have; the next best thing is making sure your mom is safe in her own home.

Can your mom move to a senior's home? Is there a friend or family member she can live with?

Can your sister live on her own? Is she supported by the state? Finding a way to get her on her own would be ideal.

The idea is to get them in their own places -- because at this stage, your sister isn't likely to overcome her mental illness, unless she gets a proper diagnosis and can stick with the treatment.

I wish I could be more helpful, but I don't know what's available in your city. You might also call the distress lines and mental health resource centers in a different city in your state -- they might have better suggestions for you.

Good luck, and I hope you find a solution! It's out there, but it may require a bit of digging.

Also -- talk to different doctors or nurses at the hospitals or mental health institutions she's already been to. They all have different perspectives and ways of doing things....and you might find buried treasure there.

Laurie

Jul 12, 2009 1:23 PM

Guest :

i dOn't know if I have a mental illness ,but everytime I am aLone i Speak And think that somebody is with me that i am talking too...Wat dO u think about it?everytime i am alone i am pretending that i am talking with somebody

Jul 24, 2009 11:47 AM

Guest :

I'm actually looking for advise, My husband recently had a gastric by-pass and lost 250 lbs. At the same time the conceal carry laws were enacted and now he is OBSESSED with guns. He never leaves home without one, and doesn't care that I hate them...It's all about HIS rights ! He constantly looks at gun web sights and feeds off of negative news media, He talks about "The war" that he says is coming and his right to defend himself, He refuses to go into places that do not allow guns or he carries illegally since the fine is of no great amount of money. He's even willing to give up church since they do not allow guns. His attitude with me, is quite simple...I have no rights. He's carrying the guns, if I don't like it I can stay home. This man once was a loving caring person, he cared what I thought and we discussed issues. Now it's quite the opposite. His life seems to have been consumed by fear ! could this be a mental disorder?
Thank You,
Pat

Jul 24, 2009 8:16 PM

Guest :

hi! im just writing back. i wrote to you on Jun 19, 2009 about my 19 year old friend. he started seeing a psycologist and he's doing better now. thanks for your help. i'm glad i visited your page.

Jul 25, 2009 6:44 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm glad your friend is getting help -- that's great! And, thanks for stopping by and letting me know how you're doing :-) I sure do appreciate that.

To the wife whose husband is so focused on guns: I've compiled a list of articles about psychological disorders and mental illness -- because I do think your husband needs to get help.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "Resources for Helping People With Psychological Disorders." You'll also also find it in the July, 2009 list on the side panel of that page.

I hope it helps. It may not be easy to find the right help for your husband -- or convince him to accept help -- but that short-term pain is better than risking long-term damage or a serious incident.

Good luck, and let me know how things go...

Laurie

Jul 30, 2009 12:55 AM

Guest :

hi,

my wife once stood behind me with a knife when i was sleeping. And again similar incident has happened in her house also. she says that she is unaware of scun incidents. She is also saying something when she roams about with the knife. Please do help me, whether it is mental illness or pssychological disorder, if so level of disorder

Jul 30, 2009 7:22 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Your wife needs to see someone in person to figure out if her sleepwalking is a sign of mental illness, and if it can be treated. She can't be diagnosed and treated online -- she has to see someone in person.

Talk to your or her doctor about getting a referral to a psychologist or counselor. It's probably best to do it as soon as possible, before something bad happens!

Good luck,
Laurie

Aug 9, 2009 7:29 AM

Guest :

My name is Robert Recently, my best friend, Allen, informed me there is too wide a "gulf" between our political views & he no longer wants to communicate with me. I'm very middle-of-the-road politically, but over the past 8 years or so (approximately the Bush administration) Allen has grown more and more ultra right-wing & outspoken. Our friendship started in the Air Force & has lasted 43 years. Though we live in different parts of the U.S., we have often vacationed together, sailed together, and used to enjoy lively, wide-ranging phone chats every few weeks. During the past eight years however, Allen has grown more and more judgmental of human frailty. He now believes President Obama is a "thug" backed by a shadowy coterie of nameless "traitors" who are purposed on destroying the nation & delivering it into the hands of our "enemies." Allen lives alone in a beautiful but isolated rural setting and is pretty much estranged from his brothers and sister. He does still communicate with his father, who is around 90 yrs old & mentally alert. I'm very worried about my dear old friend & would like to talk with his father about him, but don't know if Allen's dark thoughts rise to the level of mental illness. Also, don't want do disturb his elderly father unnecessarily. Any advice would be enormously appreciated!

Aug 9, 2009 9:30 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi Robert,

I suspect Allen's father is aware of his behaviors and thought processes, since his dad is mentally alert and in contact with Allen. That said, it wouldn't hurt to share your concerns in a gentle, nonthreatening way. That is, I wouldn't recommend saying "I think Allen is showing signs of mental illness and needs help!" (which I doubt you'd say, anyway)

Rather, you could share your sadness that the friendship seems to be ending. You could ask his dad for suggestions on developing a better relationship, and also ask for his thoughts on how Allen is doing. His dad might be totally oblivious, or completely aware...and it may be worth finding out.

It's awfully hard to help people who don't want to be helped, or who don't think they're struggling with a mental or physical health issue. Many people with mental health issues believe that the problems are "out there" -- which is why they retreat and isolate themselves. There may also be physical changes happening in his brain as he ages, which can cause irrational or disturbed thinking or behavior. But again, it's hard to help him if he's not willing to be helped!

You could also call the mental health organizations in his area, and ask for their suggestions. There might be a local distress line or social services organization that might offer helpful solutions.

I'm sorry I don't have better suggestions! I wish you the best of luck. It's so hard seeing a such a long friendship peter out like this, and seeing a good friend struggle with his life and health.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Aug 18, 2009 6:50 PM

corey :

tive never mentioned to anyone anything about my psychological problems. im now 18, going to first year university, and ive finally conluded that i have something wrong with me. it started when i was roughly 13. this is when my first signs of psychological problems occured. i would always imagine people such as my mom with my friends parents like laughing and talking in their houses..it was rly weird, i would picture them like laughing at a table drinking their coffee or some crap. when i was around 14 or so i looked at life as a game...where everyone did everything for a reason, and im talking about to piss other people off. for example, if someone was to question me about something, i would think to myself that they only did it to test me..and if i couldnt answer it that they would 'win' and have some type of more power over me...and this went for EVERYTHING! even if people coughed or laughed around me i would take it as if they were doing it to point out that i was doing 'something' wrong, and they were hinting me to fix it..this later led to something more recent..i used to ALWAYS think that ppl did absolutely everything to piss me off..like if my friend were to tell me his plans with other people next week, i took it as if he was trying to brag to me about his other friends that i dontt have and completely flip out..or if my mom would ask me to do the dishes i would take it as an insult and think that she only wants me to do them to get up and do something..or if my mom would ask if i have plans at all, id think she would only ask that to piss me off, knowing that i never have any plans..i have anger issues, i get mad at everything. i hate getting into a car that has music on, or walking by myself in the gym or through halls, i always think people are looking at me and judging me. i think weird shit to myself, like suicidal thoughts and be rly down about myself. then the next day i might be completely happy. i get very hot and feel uncomfortable when around a large group of people.. also when i was younger i would get migraines in the middle of everynight to the point where id cry of the pain. and i would get white spots on the top of my arms that indicate stress and anxiety, this was also when i was around 16. as of today i still get pissed off easily, im confused about everything. im smart, going to an amazing university and the whole nine yards, but yet i still have these fd up problems...i dotn know whats wrong with me...this is only 25% of it.

Aug 18, 2009 7:42 PM

corey :

thank you

Aug 18, 2009 7:53 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Corey,

I apologize for the mix-up about the comments -- you're right, you do have a healthy angry side! Sometimes the comments section here on Suite can be a little wonky; it's not the smoothest system. And, I'm always reluctant to let comments appear that contain swear words -- even if it's not the whole swear word.

But, to your question: I'm not sure what you're going through (it's almost impossible to say over the internet), but I think it would be good if you talked to a counselor or therapist in person. Some of what you talk about is normal, but not to the extremes you describe.

Five years is a long time to deal with what you've been going through -- it's way too long. And, university brings its own set of stresses and challenges, which strain the psyche of even the most well-adjusted, happy student.

Talk to your doctor about a referral to someone who can help, or call a counselor on your own. Some therapists offer lower rates for students. The university may even have a mental health office for students -- I think most of them do.

I wish you all the best, and hope you find someone to talk to in person. Once you get the ball rolling in terms of solving your problem, you'll feel much better! It's difficult to get everything sorted out, but it's way worth it.

Good luck, and feel free to post again -- without the colorful language :-)

Laurie

Aug 19, 2009 7:22 PM

Guest :

can you explain what is somewhat normal from what i decribed? i dont mean to sound rude im just curious. it will hopefully make me feel less crazy knowing that im not thet only person who thinks like this, or somewhat to it...

Aug 20, 2009 5:30 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

There are several normal things in your comment above, Corey -- you're not totally alone in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors!

For instance, many people get uncomfortable in large groups of people. I went to a Pink Floyd concert years ago, and felt like I was going to suffocate because of the hundreds of thousands of people there! It was awful, and ever since then I avoid big concerts, hockey games like the Stanley Cup playoffs, or any place that has throngs of people.

And regarding feeling that people are looking at and judging you: we all feel self-conscious at times. That is totally normal. It's hard to be in busy places (such as a crowded hallway at school) and be alone. Again, that one thing isn't necessarily a sign of mental illness or that anything's wrong!

We all have quirks, weaknesses, foibles. But when those quirks interfere with our life, interaction with others, and day-to-day functioning, then it's a sign that there could be a problem. And, many emotional health issues are easily fixed!

But the first step is to reach out and get help. You've already done that here, but you need to talk to someone in person. A doctor, counselor, or someone who can help you get help!

Best wishes,
Laurie

Aug 20, 2009 10:53 AM

Guest :

i really dont want to talk to a counselor nor a doctor, its embarassing. is there anything i can maybe try doing to help with this?

Aug 20, 2009 1:58 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

You could try taking an anger management course, or a workshop that focuses on people skills or getting along with people in general. You could figure out what your biggest 2-3 problems are -- the things that are causing you the most difficulty in life and with people -- and focus on squaring with those (by taking classes, reading books from the library, joining support groups, etc).

The best way to solve any issue in life is to get to the root of the problem. You'd need to sit down - preferably with an objective, trained therapist - and figure out what's causing the problems. It's really important to get objective help, because we can't be rational and objective about our own selves, emotions, and behavior. You could try journaling or writing in your personal diary about all the things that you think led up to your current situation. You'd then need to work through those issues -- and it's exceedingly difficult to do on your own.

And remember -- psychologists, doctors, counselors, etc deal with all sorts of problems ALL day long! There's nothing to be embarrassed about with them; people with problems is their job. And, unless you tell your family and friends, they don't even have to know about it.

I'm afraid I can't offer any more in-depth solutions than that, or any psychological advice -- this is just a general psychology website with basic articles and information. Specific individual help has to be sought in person.

I wish you all the best.

Laurie

Aug 24, 2009 9:03 AM

Guest :

Hi im 21 i got most of things that are listed i have troubles concentrating i forget things quickly, i get mood swings i feel like i wanna kill someone sometimes, im starting to hate people for no reason. I tend to think every one is selfish and rude from previous experiences, i also have to work hard to solve problems than others for example i can study all night which is equivelent to some1 studing 4 or 5 hours and in the end the one who studied less gets higher marks while i just pass. Also im starting to gain weight i use to be muscular 2 years ago but im starting to get out of shape. Why is life such a bitch like this.

Aug 31, 2009 5:35 PM

Guest :

My mom is probably mentally ill.
1. She retells painful stories from her past over and over. Everyone has them memorized and knows when they are coming.
2. She has trouble socializing. She cannot carry on a light conversation with another person. She has trouble with boundaries. She tells very personal things to people she doesn't know, but she has no close friends.
3. When we were children, she would bait my brother and me by telling us to do one thing, then criticizing us when we did it. She liked to ridicule us.
4. She denied me the opportunity to make friends by not allowing me to participate in social activities. Then, she constantly ridiculed me for "being a bookworm". She found something wrong with everything I wanted to do. For example, girl scouts, school band, dances, etc. were off limits, but then she criticized me for anything I found to do at home.
5. She was very loud at times. She could really go on and on with her criticisms of everyone, even though she did not know them. For example, when we saw an obviously happy family with 6 children, although all were well dressed and well behaved, she ranted to me about people who have too many children. However, her own family consisted of 6 children. They were very poor. She says she wouldn't take anything for her large family.
Until the last few months, I did not realize how bizarre her behavior was. I though there was something wrong with me, because, of course, she always said there was something wrong with me. My brother recently came for a visit and started talking about all of the crazy things she said and did when we were children. It made me feel better to know that he felt the same way I did.
Is my Mom mentally ill or just mean?

Aug 31, 2009 8:51 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

From your description (which was very thorough and well-written, by the way!), your mother doesn't sound emotionally stable. But I can't tell you one way or another if your mom is mentally ill. The only way to get a "real" diagnosis is for her to see a doctor or psychologist.

But you don't need a real diagnosis to figure out something huge and meaningful about yourself! The important thing to remember is that she may not have a realistic perception of the world or the people around her. And, she doesn't have a realistic perception of YOU. This means that she can't accurately say that anything is wrong with you, or that you're any of the bad things she said about you!

She withheld alot of really great things from you, she criticized you alot, and she doesn't have great social skills. I'm sorry you had a childhood like that...life is hard enough when we have totally fantastic, normal parents! But, you have to remember that you are not who she said you are. You need to figure out for yourself who you are, and try to not let her words dictate how you feel about yourself.

The beauty about growing up and being an adult is that we can choose to be who we want to be. We don't have to be who our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, or anyone says we are. We can develop our own strengths, personalities, and lives.

I hope you can separate who you are from who your mom is, whether she's mentally ill or just plain mean. I hope you blossom into the woman you're meant to be...even though you had a rough start in life! You could start by searching for information on "personal identity", "authentic living", and "letting go of the past."

Best wishes,

Laurie

Sep 10, 2009 6:28 PM

peter napil :

hi, I am a fresh year college student;
my father had gone through a lot of issues in his life, and the most issue that affected him was like 3 years ago, he was putted into jail and tortured without any reason. after that he started to lose his mind gradually, he started suspecting of people, one by one.
first he lost faith on people around, then he started suspecting my mom,, that she's poisoning him, and works with an agency that want to torture him until he gets crazy, and he was saying that she's giving us ideas to torture him, and follow him and etc..now if he hears anything, anything, he suspect from it.
one year ago he told us to travel to our country,, and he stayed alone for 1 year and didn't communicate with us at all, and now i came to him alone,, to see how is he going on,,i found that he already divorced my mom, he said her cover have been revealed that she was against him,, and when he hears any thing, or anyone talking or the sound of the horn outside the house,,he says that they are torturing him by doing this noise to make him get crazy and that his strong and will never be crazy,,and I really started to get mad from him because if there is any thing or any voice he says they are torturing me and start shouting all over the place, and some times he talks to himself in his room,, coz he thinks that the people that are after him have recording spy machines in his room,,and are watching him all the time, and he talk coz he thinks that they hear him and listen what his saying ,, where no one is really there or anything..
when I tell him it’s ok , nothing is going on,, he start to be sarcastic on me and says don’t be stupid we studied this things along time ago, he means by that,,that I am also working with the agency too,,and he also says sometimes to me remove the sound receiving from your ear,,and never wants to hear an advice,, and talks to all people as they are his enemies..he lost his job he don’t trust no one,, and he is about to through me off from his life,,and his living in a very delusional world..and that his going to go to court and put all people who are following him to jail,,he already went to many lawyers around the world and they all rejected him,,,and he says that they r taught to do that by the people who are following him,,,and he thinks the people who are following him is the world health organization.
please, WHATS THE NAME OF HIS DISEASE,, I need heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!
h

Sep 11, 2009 7:31 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi Peter,

Your dad sounds like he’s struggling with many mental and emotional health issues – I’m sorry you have to go through this.

I can’t make any psychological diagnosis, but it sounds like he’s dealing with symptoms of schizophrenia. Signs of schizophrenia include paranoia, auditory hallucinations, bizarre behaviors, illogical thinking, and dangerous actions.

Your dad needs psychological help, but it might not be as easy as making an appointment for him to see a doctor! Many people with mental illness or mental health issues aren’t thrilled with the idea of seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist – they sometimes think the problem is the world and people around them, not within themselves.

To learn more about helping him, you might find “Resources for Helping People With Psychological Disorders” helpful. To read it, click on my name in blue at the top of this page. Click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to the article. It’s also in the July, 2009 list on the side panel.

I hope this helps a little, and that you can help your dad through this. I also hope you remember that you can only do what you can do – you’re not responsible for his life, his feelings, or his actions. You can only do so much to help him…which may not feel like enough.

Best wishes, and feel free to return anytime you need to share your thoughts or feelings.

Laurie

Oct 9, 2009 8:13 PM

Guest :

I need answers for my personal disorder(but, i don't think it's critical). I just want to know! I am 24 year old, single and never had a boyfriend. now my question is..Is it fine to be alone? because, i don't like to be with somebody except for my family. i hate socializing, and got bored of city life. I made my own decisions and don't keep insisting of my suggestions, especially in company meetings. I do not follow instructions, i hate to be manipulated. I felt like i'm in a cage, if someone shows me love..it's like a burden. Please help, maybe I have a mental illness but knows how to be normal although i am not normal anymore!?

Oct 12, 2009 8:20 AM

Guest :

Hello, I was wondering about extreme emotional responses. When me or another family member talks to my Mother about everyday issues,even when they aren't negative in fashion, she will accuse me/us of blaming her and just "go off"; yelling over others, interrupting, slamming doors, walking away from the conversation. She will start yelling even when I/us talk to her in a calm tone. Her reaction is extreme. I know this is not normal and must have something to do with her thoughts and feelings. She does tell me she is depressed, but I was also wondering about anxiety too.please let me know where to look and how I can help her.

Oct 12, 2009 11:29 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Thanks for your comment; I’m sorry your mother is so emotional and unpredictable. Anxiety and depression are sometimes found together, so it’s not too surprising that you recognize both in her.

I wrote a blog post called “Resources for Helping People With Psychological Disorders” that you might find helpful.

To get there, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Resources for Helping People With Psychological Disorders” – you’ll also find it in the July, 2009 section on the side panel.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Oct 12, 2009 11:39 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

To the person who asked a question on Oct 9: I’m sorry I missed your question until now!

I think you’re right that you don’t have a serious psychological or personality disorder – but you’re not happy, and you feel burdened by the love of others. This isn’t healthy, and I suggest you talk to a counselor or therapist about building a happier, more fulfilling life.

I also suggest figuring out the root of your emotional responses. Are you afraid of being loved – were you hurt in the past? Are you worried about not being able to love someone back? A counselor or therapist would be able to help you figure out why you’re struggling with love.

And, I wrote a blog post called “Resources for Emotional Healing” that you might find helpful. It lists links to articles about being mentally healthy.

To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Resources for Emotional Healing” – you’ll also find it in the Sept, 2009 section on the side panel.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Oct 16, 2009 11:31 PM

Guest :

Hi I have a problem I hope you can help or at least point me in the right direction. My mother to say the least has been through alot her husband died in 2003 her soon to be husband after that who took care of her while she was dieing and pulled thrugh he died 6 months later but at the time my mom was dieing my sisters son passed she is an alcohalic and we balieve she is using drugs. She has been diegnosed with depresion and bipoler disorder she is on medication and is seeing a siciatris and counsler and doctor but it is not helping she is starting to take it out on the grandchildren and now we found out she is takeing out on my step dad who has recently had a baby with another woman my mom and him have not been together for about 12 years she says she wants to make that baby her greandchiled she is extreamly abousive bothe verbaly and fisicly well if you can help I would greatly apreceate it her counsler and others that she is seeing are not helping she need more. Thank you very much.

Oct 20, 2009 4:32 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I’m sorry to hear about your mother – it sounds like she’s dealing with a lot of life’s most difficult challenges. This makes it more difficult for you, too.

One thing that may help is to call your local abuse hotline or distress line. They may have more information about resources in your area, such as support groups, workshops, or classes about parents with mental health issues. They may also be able to give you specific information about how to help your mom.

I’ve also written a post for my Psychology blog called “Resources for Helping People With Psychological Disorders.” It lists articles about helping someone who is dealing with emotional health issues.

To read that post, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Resources for Helping People With Psychological Disorders” – you’ll also find it in the July, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope this helps, I wish you all the best with your mother.

Laurie

Oct 23, 2009 9:06 AM

Guest :

I am 16 years old. My grandparents are Nazi's. I am Black. My grandparents have had no influence on me. I have recently learned a thing or two through the pseudo science, Black science, and it has done little more than educate me and feed my cynical outlook on the human race. I HATE people. I can't comprehend why it is that people do the things that they do. After "hanging out with friends"(which I do very rarely) I usualy regret saying half of the things I have said. I feel like a whiner for saying all of this but I am curious to see what a persons response might be.

Oct 23, 2009 9:10 AM

Guest :

Oct 24, 2009 9:17 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I think you’re right that you don’t have a serious psychological or personality disorder – but if you’re not happy, then you might want to think about coping with whatever is holding you back. Some people are perfectly happy staying single all their lives, while others aren’t happy that way…but can’t overcome their emotional health issues to connect in a meaningful relationship.

Yes, it’s fine to be alone – unless you want to be in a relationship.

If you do want to be with someone one day, I also suggest figuring out the root of your emotional responses. Why don’t you like socializing? Are you afraid of being loved – were you hurt in the past? Are you worried about not being able to love someone back? A counselor or therapist would be able to help you figure out why you’re struggling with love.

And, I wrote a blog post called “Resources for Emotional Healing” that you might find helpful. It lists links to articles about being mentally healthy. To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Resources for Emotional Healing” – you’ll also find it in the Sept, 2009 section on the side panel.

Now that I think about it -- you might be more interested in my “Resources for Extroverts and Introverts” article. It sounds like you’re an introvert, and the more you know about introverted personality traits, the happier you’ll be! That post is in the May, 2009 section in the side panel of my Psych blog.

I hope this helps a little!

Best wishes,
Laurie

Oct 28, 2009 12:50 PM

Guest :

Hi, I am 21 years old, and have recently stopped going to college. I still have one semester to go but my parents have been pressuring me to graduate so at the end of last semester i told them i had finished. i'm still not finished my degree, but i cant bring myself to tell them. what is wrong with me? and how can i deal with this situation? it would break their hearts if i told them i hadn't finished college, i'm the last of three children, all college graduates. i feel like such a failure. what do i do??

Oct 30, 2009 9:32 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

There’s nothing wrong with you, my friend! You simply don’t want to disappoint your parents. It’s normal to feel like a failure when you don’t live up to people’s expectations.

The best, healthiest thing to do is to figure out what YOU want out of your life. It’s really difficult to separate your parents’ expectations from how you feel about yourself, but that’s what being a healthy adult is all about.

One of my favorite articles is “Letting Go of Other People’s Expectations” – I suggest you Google. I wrote it for my website, See Jane Soar, and it’s all about giving yourself permission and finding the strength to let go of what other people want, and embrace what YOU want out of life.

By the way, feeling like you should live up to other people’s expectations and being reluctant to disappoint them is NOT a sign of mental illness! As I said, it’s healthy and natural.

Read that article, and tell me what you think either there or here.

And, ‘fess up to your parents. Carrying that burden is worse than facing the moment of truth. It’ll be difficult, but you’ll feel much, much better after you talk to them. Explain why you made the decision you did and what your future plans are. And, remember that this will NOT break their hearts. They may overreact and get emotional – but in the grand scheme of things, not graduating from college is not the end of the world. You’re physically healthy, strong, able-bodied, willing to work at a job (I hope!), mentally and emotionally healthy, and you have plans for your future. Tell all this to your parents.

Good luck and best wishes,

Laurie

Nov 3, 2009 9:12 PM

Guest :

I am writing because something happened today that scares me a little. I woke up with a headache (I have migraines several days out of each month) and had my husband take care of the kids (ages 1 and 2) until I got up around 1pm. I took some excedrin which helped my headache, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I was hungry, but couldn't make myself get lunch. When the kids woke up from naps I was able to get my husband and interact a little with them, but after an hour I just say on the kitchen floor for a while, then laid down on the floor for about an hour. I had thoughts of what I would rather be doing, but couldn't make myself do them. I wanted to interact with my kids and hubby, but couldn't. The only way I have been able to express my thoughts is to write them down. I was able to eat the dinner my husband prepared. I am concerned because I have never had this happen before. It is like I am trapped in this body that doesn't want to do anything. My husband says he thinks it is mental and has to do with me being concerned about other people's problems. He also thinks I am just unmotivated to do these things. What should I do? Has anyone else had this problem?

Nov 5, 2009 5:41 AM

Guest :

I am a bit worried because i have all the signs of mental illness under problems with feelings and two to three in other feilds. I need help what should i do?

Nov 6, 2009 7:31 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

To the guest on Nov 3:

I’m sorry that it took me so long to respond – what you experienced sounds frightening! I don’t know what it is, or if your husband is right and you’re “just” dealing with the stress of taking on other people’s problems. Indeed, stress and anxiety can affect our body and mind in powerful ways.

But even if your physical feelings are a result of your mental health, you still need to cope with them! You can’t just ignore the symptoms and chalk it up to stress.

I suggest you make an appointment with your family doctor right away. And, you could read up on depression and anxiety. Symptoms of people who are depressed include fatigue, listlessness, lack of energy, inability to make decisions, inability to get out of bed. It’s not really “lack of motivation” – it’s the result of brain chemicals and hormones that aren’t balanced.

I’m not saying you’re depressed – you need to talk to a doctor to get a real diagnosis. But, I do suggest you read my blog post called “How Do I Get Help for My Depression?” This article applies to ANY type of mental health struggle, not just depression.

To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “How Do I Get Help for My Depression?” – you’ll also find it in the July, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope it helps, and welcome you to respond either there or here.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Nov 6, 2009 7:32 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

To the guest on Nov 5:

I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with all the signs of mental illness under the “feelings” category! That’s a difficult place to be. But – you aren’t alone, my friend. We all struggle with our mental and emotional health at some point in our lives. The key to health and healing is to get help as soon as possible!

Since I can’t list links here and I want to give you more information, I wrote a blog post called “I Think I Have a Mental Health Problem – What Do I Do?” There, I list several steps you could take, plus links to helpful articles and websites.

To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to ““I Think I Have a Mental Health Problem – What Do I Do?” – you’ll also find it in the Nov, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope it helps, and welcome you to respond either there or here.

Best wishes,
Laurie

89 Comments

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