Recognizing the Signs of Depression

How Do You Know if You're Depressed?

Feb 24, 2007 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

The physical signs of depression range from poor sleeping patterns to the inability to make decisions. Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness are also common.

Recognizing the physical signs of depression will help you know if you're depressed. If you're a teenager or adolescent who is struggling with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, or despair, read Help for Depressed Teenagers.

Everyone gets a little depressed now and then; sometimes we feel depressed for no reason at all and other times we're sad about something specific, such as the loss of a parent or close friend. Regardless of the cause of depression, some feelings of sadness aren't permanent or debilitating. Some feelings of sadness are easily banished with a change of pace, such as a new job or hobby.

But, clinical or double depression can be a different story. Recognizing the signs of depression is the first step in treating it.

Physical Signs of Depression

Some feelings of sadness last longer and are worse than a simple case of "the blues." Depression affects your everyday functioning and depletes your energy and interests. Everything, even just getting out of bed, takes a huge effort when you're dealing with depression. Things that you once enjoyed become tedious and difficult due to depression.

All your body and life rhythms are disturbed when you're dealing with depression.

Behavior can be physical signs of depression:

  • Withdrawal from people, work, pleasures, activities is one of the first signs of depression
  • Spurts of restlessness can be signs of depression
  • Sighing, crying, moaning
  • Difficulty getting out of bed is a sign of depression
  • Lower activity and energy levels
  • Lack of motivation – it's a physical sign of depression when everything feels like an effort

Feelings can be physical signs of depression:

  • Sadness, misery are "obvious" signs of depression
  • Overwhelmed by everyday tasks (eg, cooking dinner)
  • Numbness or apathy can be a sign of depression
  • Anxiety, tension, irritability
  • Helplessness is a sign of depression
  • Low confidence and poor self-esteem are often signs of depression
  • Disappointment, discouragement, hopelessness
  • Feelings of unattractiveness or ugliness can be signs of depression
  • Loss of pleasure and enjoyment are signs of depression

Thinking patterns can be physical signs of depression:

  • Inability to make decisions
  • Lack of concentration or focus can be a sign of depression
  • Loss of interest in activities, people, and life
  • Self-criticism, self-blame, self-loathing is often a signs of depression
  • Pessimism can be a sign of depression
  • Preoccupation with problems and failures can be a sign of depressed feelings
  • Thoughts of self-harm or suicide can be signs of depression

Body signals can be physical signs of depression:

  • Fatigue, low energy, exhaustion are often signs of depression
  • Poor sleeping patterns – waking early, not sleeping even when exhausted
  • Loss of appetite or, occasionally, increased appetite can be a physical sign of depression
  • Loss of sexual interest can be a sign of depression

Recognizing the signs of depression involves understanding that the range of behaviors above are possible signs of depressed feelings. If you exhibit one or two signs or behaviors in each category, then you may be depressed. If you exhibit just one or two signs of depression (eg, pessimism or loss of interest in intimacy), then you may be dealing with something other than depression, such as physical illness. A doctor can help you figure out if you're dealing with depression.

Child abuse, grief, failure, the loss of a friend, or even the death of a pet can trigger feelings of sadness, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're depressed.

Dealing With Depression is Different for Everyone

If you're depressed because you suffered a miscarriage, you may have different signs of depression than your coworker who perhaps has low levels of dopamine or noradrenaline (brain chemicals). The signs of depression will be different as well.

Some depressed people feel worse in the morning, and better as the day wears on. Others feel it at night, and toss and turn until the early hours of the morning. It depends on your personality, situation at home, and even what medications you're taking or illnesses you have.

Getting Help for Depression

Different causes of depression can cause different signs of depression. They also require different treatments for depression or antidepressants. The first step is to talk to your family doctor or a counselor. Reaching out to people and being as honest as you can is the primary way to get help with depression – so you can start enjoying life again!

If you found Recognizing the Signs of Depression helpful, you might want to read:

The copyright of the article Recognizing the Signs of Depression in Psychology is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Recognizing the Signs of Depression in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
130 Comments

Comments

May 7, 2008 9:22 PM
Guest :
this really kind of help me realiza that i am depressed.
it was a good article and it helped me a lot.
Aug 15, 2008 4:26 AM
Guest :
are there any recorded physical signs such as a very heavy feeling in the head - band like tension, particularly at the back of the head and a feeling of wanting to faint, especially when bending over and tilting the head backwards? An MRI has revealed 5ml tonsillar herniation but I have been told not to worry about it!
Aug 19, 2008 11:02 PM
Guest :
i wasnt ever sure if i was depressed.
im only a kid...and i wwas curious about my feelings so i looked it up and this really is EVERYTHING. this helped more than you know.
Aug 22, 2008 1:25 AM
Guest :
This article is very informative.It really help me realized how depressed I really was.
Aug 24, 2008 4:16 PM
Guest :
i realise that i am actually depressed, i wasnt sure y i was feelin this way but now i do, thankyou
Sep 15, 2008 9:07 PM
Guest :
this was a gud thing...but after taking the personality, at the end it says pay to get your personality test report, had this was tod in the beginning itself, I could have save on my time.that's very bad.
Sep 15, 2008 9:08 PM
Guest :
this is very good...!
Sep 23, 2008 4:06 PM
Guest :
This helped me a lot...i nw knw y i feel da way i do...
i am depressed..:(
Sep 25, 2008 11:57 AM
Guest :
this will hopefully help me to help my friend. She is very depressed fat and broke! I hope i can help her get everything together
Oct 2, 2008 7:35 PM
Guest :
I just started college, and i started to change and all i do is sleep and eat, and after reading this article i seen that i am depressed, at first i thought it was just me being homesick.
Oct 5, 2008 5:21 PM
Guest :
i think i knew already that i was depressed.
some of the physical sighns were obvious.. but some
jst confermed it. =[[
Oct 8, 2008 7:20 AM
Guest :
I experience 90% of these symptoms however I am afraid of getting help.
:'(
Oct 8, 2008 7:26 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
What are you afraid of? Sometimes it helps just to be aware of your fears......then you can move forward even if you're scared....
Oct 8, 2008 11:58 AM
Guest :
i was feeling sad for no reason at all.
im always tired i eat about 2x more than i used to
im unterested in my boyfriend and friends an all i wanna do is be alone.
this really helped me to accept that im depressed. thnkku.
Oct 15, 2008 9:57 AM
Guest :
I have no doubt that I am depressed. My husband left me for a woman 30 years younger then himself. Our marriage was rocky for years. However, when I found out he was having an affair that was a wake up call.
I miss him so much it is unbearable. I can't find the joy. I have great friends,family and councilors.

In any case, this article just confirmed the situation, ESPECIALLY the thinking patterns. They are very accurate!
Thank you
Oct 20, 2008 10:00 PM
Guest :
Appreciate the info and help....
Oct 26, 2008 11:09 PM
Guest :
i dont want to accept that everthing on this list describes me. i hate my life and i just dont know what to do. id like to improve my life as appose to ending it but that isnt looking likely. any advice would be great.
Oct 27, 2008 9:19 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I'm sorry you hate your life...and I hope you can find a way to enjoy it!

Everyone deals with depression differently. Some find natural treatments effective (St John's Work, light therapy, exercise, etc), while others really need antidepressants or counseling, or a combination of both. What will work for you depends on your personality and lifestyle.

So, how do you find what will work for you? You need to reach out and talk to someone in person. Your doctor, a counselor, a trusted friend or family member.....because few people can overcome depression all alone.

Another way to treat depression is to keep trying different things until you find what works for you. You may not know right now whether light therapy or antidepressants will work -- so you have to try them and see!

If anyone wants to share what they think would work, or what works for them, please do feel free to comment......we'd love to hear from you.

- Laurie
Nov 1, 2008 7:49 AM
Guest :
Well, i have been depressed since forever, since I was about 10 I think it started.Now it's getting wrose. I hate people, I hate my family. I don't wanna talk to friends. I don't know how to open up to anyone. I have mixed emotions and eat a ton (but don't gain weight haha) I don't know what's wrong with me. Everyday I go to school and I smile like I'm happy, but deep inside im really hurting.I don't know who to turn to. And every single day I have to put up with my family fighting and arguing over dumb SHIT. I am filled with anger and hurt and sadness.And noone can feel my pain.The world is a sad and lonely place, and it's harsh and cold.Sometimes I wish I were never born.I wanna just fly away and be free.I am only 16 and all the pressures all on me. I cry and cry and i am tired of it. I stay at home alday long and never get out. It's time I find myself again and start doing the things I love to do. When I was 13 I din want to look myself in the mirror becuz I hated me. I have every single symptom listed up there except for low self esteem and feeling ugly LOL. I know I am beautiful but im not cocky. I am a girl who's lost and hopeless. Who need a hug, and to feel loved and wanted. I am smart enough not to turn to drugs, but i was dumb enough to turn to sex. I am not stupid enough to kill myself, but im crazy enough to hurt myself. I am smart enough to know I need help and prayer.But I don't want freakn medication. So for everyone who read this pray for me. I love you all and thanks for reading. I hope the best for yall and I hope you find happiness. But till then we all are on that journey.
Love, Kay
Nov 10, 2008 5:28 PM
Guest :
Uh...like everyone else that commented - I'm depressed...I working really hard at it but what ever I do is never enough it seems. I've forced myself to eat less than my "normal" double sharings lol so that i can try a regular eating pattern, I'm still hungry folks...I've tried diving into the only thing people think I'm good at- volleyball- and i'm not really improving because my heart's not in it really. I've tried to socialise but no matter how I try I keep on distancing myself...most of the time i feel like a failure...i feel like the whole world is on my back sometimes...people look to me to lead them no matter the situation...people seem to think i'm intelligent...and guess what I'M TIRED OF IT ALLL!!!! However, I'll keep trying because I can beat this right? 16 is "too young to be depressed" at least that's what my mom says..."what do I really have to worry about huh?
lol life is sooooo freakn messed up...
Nov 10, 2008 7:37 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I don't think age has anything to do with feeling depressed. Some types of depression are about brain chemistry, hormones, etc. It's not about your age or circumstances...it's what's happening in your body.

Depression isn't something you can control or will away. It's much more complicated than that.
Nov 11, 2008 11:11 AM
Guest :
i guess i have to admit it...im depressed...i've pushed everyone one away and i have no one to blame but myself....i have nowhere to go now.....all i have is a knowledge of why i am here...but still stuck here until i die..
Nov 20, 2008 9:51 PM
Guest :
im depressed, and still dont know what kind of help to get... but reading different stories, help . i encourage everyone that reads this webpage to write, so we all know that we r not alone. i think it helps to know about other's problems, and exactly like this talking to strangers, and reading from strangers, without looking no one's face.
i used to hurt my self, tried to attempt..., but until a saw several attempts of others, and realized how bad the family is left behind, i committed to my self not to do it again. i still feel tempted to at least hurt my self, just a little, but i have not done it in a while.
Nov 21, 2008 1:32 AM
Guest :
most of what i read here.
is true.
does that mean im depressed?
Nov 30, 2008 9:09 PM
Guest :
i would appreciate it if someone could help me, i feel some of these symptoms but my friends say they don't believe i have depression because i always seem cheerful. but at the moment i feel like i have been depressed for a long time. does this mean i am depressed?
Dec 1, 2008 8:07 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Well, you know your feelings better than anyone -- so it deosn't really matter what your friends say! If you have the physical signs of depression listed above, and it's been going on a long time, then you need to get help. Talk to your doctor, a counselor, your pastor -- anyone you trust who can help you sort through your feelings.
Dec 1, 2008 10:08 PM
Guest :
I'm almost 17. I've been feeling really weird lately. And in psych. class, they talked about depression. (I fit each category.) So I looked up more information...and I think I am. Which really sucks, because I've always been a happy person...
I guess its good that I know though. It's not like I'm gonna tell anyone, but still, good to know. Thanks for the article.
Dec 1, 2008 10:08 PM
Guest :
I'm almost 17. I've been feeling really weird lately. And in psych. class, they talked about depression. (I fit each category.) So I looked up more information...and I think I am. Which really sucks, because I've always been a happy person...
I guess its good that I know though. It's not like I'm gonna tell anyone, but still, good to know. Thanks for the article.
Dec 2, 2008 7:58 PM
Guest :
This is very helpful, it thoroughly explains to me things in an easier way than my psychiatrist. i suffer from major deppression due to stress and now this helps not only myself but also my family try and take care of me more
Dec 8, 2008 9:49 PM
Guest :
All this time I think I always new I was depressed and I didn't care. I had just moved to a city; I made some friends and had made it happen for me. But I didn't care, I just let my life just slip away. I stopped hanging with my friends never spoke to anybody and found was trying to escape everything by going to work as much as I could. My friends forgot about me and I didn't care, and all I thought about was what I was missing. this article put things In perspective for me. It told me just what I needed to hear, I need to get my A!@ up and get my life back. And its exactly what I'M gonna do!!!!!! .thank you Laurie.
Dec 9, 2008 11:50 PM
Guest :
i guess we all experience this thing in our lives.. maybe once or twice.. but i guess we don't really need to dwell on negative things in our lives. let's see the brighter side. i myself always complain of being sad.. a total worrier! i admit that i'm weak when it comes it comes to dealing with my problems especially when they really get out of control.. but then, i'm doing my bet.. i'm trying my best to change this part of me. i dont wanna be like this forever!! haha! so what i'm doing now is trying things out to divert my attention rather than focusing on hte negatives.. remember, we're the only one responsible for our own actions and behavior... on our own thoughts.. whatever happens, LET'S NOT LOSE HOPE AND BE DETERMINED TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. to all who read this, have a nice day and gb!
>>>Psychology student<<<
Dec 11, 2008 9:36 AM
Guest :
I feel numb......... When I think things are going my way, life pulls the carpet from under my feet. I'm getting tired of falling. I feel like crawling under a rock and staying there. I now I can't though... life goes on and I have to keep my head high. Remember this saying "THE STARS ARE BRIGHTEST WHEN EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IS DARK".
Dec 13, 2008 4:04 PM
Guest :
im young and feel depressed. people think im joking but im not. people dont seem to notice but nobody pays attension. i cut my rists. my mom is goin threw deppresion to which helps make me. i was takin from my best friend. im very anol which doesnt help. somtimes i think about killin myself but know tht wont help. i tell my family we have 2 move back but they dont care about my interests. i need help. plzzzz
Dec 13, 2008 4:17 PM
Guest :
I fake being happy everyday.. and my friends have just started pointing out to me they can tell I'm putting on a front. I'm almost 17, and I've had a lot of bad things happen in my life. I know I have depression but I'm too scared to talk to my doctor cuz I don't want everyone to worry about me because I don't want to stress anyone out..

well thanks for the help.. hopefully I'll find the courage to reach out soon.
Dec 14, 2008 7:56 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Reaching out isn't just the best way to deal with depression - it's the ONLY way. If you have signs of depression, you really do need to talk to someone.

I hope you find the courage to reach out soon...
Dec 20, 2008 5:21 PM
Guest :
everyone be aware that you may be depressed, or as you were reading, it became a thought in your head that only made you think you were depressed. its very common, so you could think of your symptoms and maybe write them down before you read the articles. :]
Dec 30, 2008 4:52 PM
Guest :
This is even sad now that I'm reading it and actually seeing what I'm dealing with I'm only sixteen n I don't wanna go through this anymore I wanna have fun n b happy but I cant
Jan 7, 2009 10:08 PM
Guest :
i know im depressed.
i just dont want to acknowledge it.
but i hope sometime soon i will
be able to talk to my doctor
about it.
cause i dont deal with it very well. i am only 17
but i drink, alot, and do drugs,and hurt myself
but only cause it makes me feel better.
wow...screwed up much...
loL i need help.
:(
Jan 19, 2009 9:26 AM
Guest :
Not sure if I am or not, but setbacks and attacks on my self esteem (not landing that job) seem to kick me into that mode. I don't want to be on happy pills either. I lost 13lbs in 3 months after I lost my job, I have a new one I'm starting and should be happy, but one company I think played a mind game saying my references didn't recommend me, which is a lie. Even though I have other offers, this one is bothering the crap out of me and I also talked to all my references (who talked to each other) and they think the company doing this is either really messed up or playing a game to see how I react. It's kept me up at night and I don't like my professional reputation trashed. I told them to keep their job, but it still bothers me.
Jan 24, 2009 1:06 AM
Guest :
Were newly wed and i have to stop to work coz i have to take care of my child,my husband earns too little to be able to support family expenses,we sometimes skip meals coz we dont have money to buy food,my child is too sickly maybe because im always sleeping(18-20hrs a day) coz when im awake i always feel like crying bec.im in employed and we have too much debts to pay,im not used to living away from my family,it was a total culture shock,i lost around 29 lbs in a month,i avoid getting in touch with my friends and colleagues,i dont want to go out coz i feel that im too pathetic,i dont want to look on my old photos coz it even more stress me to see how ugly i became.but now im ok im working my baby is in very good shape,we moved out to our new house near mt parents,see how god works?he can really do miracles,nowdays we still sometimes get into financial probs,just like others but i always look back to what weve gone trhough with god.
Jan 25, 2009 7:23 PM
Guest :
I thought I was just bummed out, guess I was wrong....
Jan 28, 2009 2:03 PM
Guest :
i must be depressed for no reason...
Jan 31, 2009 5:17 PM
Guest :
im 15 nd i'v bn depressed since i was 10 after six or so months my mum took me 2 c a shrink after a yr i felt better for a wile but wen i was 12 i relapsed and it was bk 2 the doctors 4 me after the first time i learnt quickly how 2 make the shrinks think im ok nd normal (if there is such a thing) we all hav gd and bad days nd so far iv bn able 2 cope well enough to make every1 think im happy, but last yr be4 my birthday it started 2 gt worse nd its getting harder 2 cope i Can still keep up the act but no 4 as long ill hav 2 leave the room or i just end up sittin ther in silence lookin miserable. my mum gt ill last yr nd she has 2 go2 the hospital 2 a wk nd shes on loads of med nd she cnt gt stressed out 2 much so 2 help my feelings out i guess u could say , i started self harming iv done it b4 but last time wen i was 12 i took painkillers till i past out i thk that's how i gt caught so this time im not doin that as much nw its mostly heatin metal then burning my arm nd i can just say it happened on the oven im not really feeling anymor but ther are nights im in my room and 4 no reason i just cry then wen i stop i dnt feel again i just want 2 b left alone but i no i need help i just dnt want it 4 me 1 of my sis is havin her first baby but she realy nds my help cuz shes bn realy ill so i nd try nd cope betr iv bn ramblin on now so i just ask a Q. does any1 no how i cn cope a bit betr or hide it betr? i dnt want 2 go bk 2 the doks in case they wnt me on meds i dnt thnk i would trust myself realy but if they'd make me happy then fine but i no sum of the side affects nd dnt no wat 2 think. sam
Feb 11, 2009 4:21 PM
Guest :
depression hurts
Feb 12, 2009 8:21 PM
Guest :
i am depressed and have been depressed for as long as i can remember.
i can trace the reasons for this like a spider web all to different sources so in the end i know why i am depressed i just cant solve it.
i cant ask for help because its no mystery why i am depressed i know why but it seems to make no difference, i know what anyone would ask me and i know what my answers would be.
this world is at the shit.its a fair assumption. religion is bollox, everything is bollox so the only thing worth having hope for is in yourself.
and if that fails, which it has for me, what in the hell do i do next?
Mar 3, 2009 4:47 PM
Guest :
this really helped!!!
thanks!
Mar 3, 2009 10:59 PM
Guest :
It all started when I quit my job I was tired of dealing with customers problems, I hated all my friends didnt talk to them again to this day and didnt care anymore about customers, money, life,and nothing. I kept quitting jobs and my debt got so bad I had to file bankruptcy and wisely surrendered my car too. No more payments(relief). I didnt play basketball anymore like I used to. My 30 year old cousin passed away from cancer (kidneys, lungs) and I got worse. My dad dosent live with me but he drinks so that dosent help neither. My mom told me to get help. I got help from counseling and medicine and am feeling better no more bad thoughts actually very optimistic. I am 27 years old. Live with my mom. The economy is very bad no jobs. Including that I have a bankruptcy and bad job history due to depression I still have hope of finding a job, my own apartment and buying stuff like a big tv. Start dating again. I have a car (no payments insurance only 60 bucks). I sometimes do feel shortness of breath and minimal physical pain but I start thinking good thoughts and eating healthy visit the doctor regularly and it goes away ive noticed. Regular activities like jogging or basketball helps. No smoking no drinking no drugs neither. I liked this article. Sometimes I would feel sad for no reason. It sounds kind of funny to me now. People take care get help it works!
Mar 8, 2009 9:21 PM
Guest :
I'm very sorry about your sistuations like all of you i feel your pain, but i think instead of sitting on the computer figuring out how depressed we all our we need to get out there talk to someone anyone because i did and it got better. After you let everything out figure out whats wrong or how to deal with whats eating at you, you get more motivated and start to love yourself again. You can't live for yesterday, you have to live for the moment and the future. Everyone has had something awful happen to them in their life, but why live everyday like that awful day was today.

And to the teenage girls, 16 is not to young to be depressed, i lived it, so did one of my younger sisters. So much changes chemically in our brains are happening then they throw highschool stuff on top, bullying, peerpressure it just adds and bulids up.but if you push yourself to do your best the day you graduate you will know highschool isn't forever, even though if feels like it won't end, it will.

good article, everyone has an idea of what it is but doesn't know exactly what it is and this is says what it is to a tee
Mar 11, 2009 12:14 PM
Guest :
This Article told that i am depressed.. But now what do i do? i dont like feeling this way.. I dont want to be depressed.. I try not to be.. what do i do now? help plz..
Mar 11, 2009 12:39 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
If you have these signs of depression, you really need to see your doctor and discuss the possible treatments. Some treatments for depression involve prescription medication, while others include light therapy -- it depends on your symptoms.

Talk to your doctor -- it's not good to get medical advice on the internet. Information, yes....advice, no!

Best wishes,
Laurie
Mar 12, 2009 5:57 PM
Guest :
so what do you do if you have all of these symptoms? now i found out i'm depresed. then what?
Mar 13, 2009 11:15 PM
Guest :
how do you tell your parents?
Mar 17, 2009 2:34 AM
Guest :
thanks heaps i found out i have depression
Mar 26, 2009 4:53 PM
Guest :
at first i wasnt sure that i was depressed. i noticed that i wasnt myself, even though im a young teenager. i relized i am really depressed
Mar 28, 2009 6:49 AM
Guest :
Great website for science homework! thanks! To anybody who's depressed, good on you for posting something. Speaking to anybody is the first step.
Mar 30, 2009 8:02 PM
Guest :
i am 17 and i am convinced i am depressed..
i have all symptoms some more severe and others are more minor..
i am starting to change dramatically.. i prefer being around 1 or 2 people rather than my usual ties which i broke away from

its awkward seeing on of the popular girls plumeting to be a social outcast

this article helped me alot

Apr 1, 2009 2:10 PM
Guest :
this article helped me and im only 11. i printed this out for my mom and she then knew i wasn`t lying about me having depression.
Apr 2, 2009 5:36 PM
Guest :
I related to this article everything it stated was what I felt and feel. The hard step now is going for help
Apr 2, 2009 5:44 PM
Guest :
9years ago i lost my mother through cancer,and my step father due to heart attack, lost my cousin and my brother, and the MOST important person in my life i lost my husband 1year and half ago, i go on with my life without feelings I laugh, i cryed i socialize, but nothing i feel that i do is right, I have 3 wonderful children, and i have not paid atttention to anything that they do, I find myself making alot of exuses I attend courses and i just dont have the drive to do anything, and i see that my children are following wht I am doing, I use to be such a clean freak, and organize.. Now i just dont care anymore.. I keep telling myself one day i will wake up and everything will be ok
but its not... I miss my husband and i missed my old life... I want it back...
Apr 12, 2009 11:00 PM
Guest :
everyone is always telling me i am changing and becoming more distant then recently four people have suggested i may be border line depressed i didn't really listen at first then one night i kinda noticed i am never happy, i cry for stupid reasons, sometimes i don't even know why im crying, i never sleep and when i finally do i dread getting up. It keeps getting worse. It's like the only time i didn't feel sad was when i talked to my gf but now even then im sad. I don't know what to do anymore. But according to this im guessing i need help.
Apr 14, 2009 3:01 PM
Guest :
I'm glad I read this. I think I might be depressed. I still don't really know. It's kind of odd seeing as I'm just a teenager. I feel unhappy and pesimistic all the time. I don't enjoy some of my favorite hobbies anymore. Talking to one of m friends used to help but these days it hasn't really done anything. She tells me I should talk to my doctor but I don't know if I'm comfortable doing that, and I won't talk to a counselor... Not again... Ugh... Well it's good to know it's a possibility and it helped me understand I do probably need help.
Apr 19, 2009 10:50 PM
Guest :
Im on my late twenties. 4 months ago when i have a first serious relationship. I never had a boyfriend before. I have a lot of insecurity within myself and he was not able to accept me for what i am, so we broke up. It hurts because i really love him. He was my first. After we broke up someone comes in, it take two months before i told myself i should give again myself a try to go into relationship. On our first weekend together, i blew it up, i feel i'm not needed, or i still feel i love my ex. And there are some things that i don't like the new guy because of culture differences. He immediately make his distance from me. For the second time i feel the whole world collapsed on me. I made another mistake, im suffering !!!! i don't know what to do. What makes me feel worse is knowing that i do wrong to those guys, they both told me on different occasion that i hurt them. Hurting somebody's feeling is the last thing i want to dom but it seems that i always repeat the same mistake. I can't control my tantrums, my emotions, the feeling that I am just being used, that im not loved. I always wanted to feel needed,important and loved.
Apr 24, 2009 1:43 AM
Guest :
Hi everyone,

I have read the comments here and feel for you all.

The most important thing to remember is that you're not alone.

I am 25 and pretty sucessful professionally but feel unmotivated, withdrawn and isolated. I have hardly any energy, feel bored/depressed and easily irritable. Most people probably don't realise how depressed I really am because I am good at keeping a straight face.

To anyone out there, stay strong and follow your passions and dreams. Never give up. There's always a way out - be hopeful and be persistent.

Keep working at it and you will be fine.

I hope this little comment has helped someone out there.

Peace to all.

Guest


May 2, 2009 7:13 PM
Guest :
It's odd reading articles about depression. I guess no one ever really thinks they are depressed and find out the hard way that this disorder exists and can consume someone. Right now, sitting on a computer and typing this, I feel sluggish, numb, and plain worthless. I've tried not being sad about my problems, but for the most part it hasn't worked and I'm tired of feeling alone. I was going to use the psychology services at my school, but I've backed out because I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy. I just know I can't keep living like this. It's eating away at me and I worry about my mental health, seeing as it's going down a dark path. I read most of the comments and I hope everyone hangs in there. To the ones that wish everyone well, you're really kind. It's nice to know others are looking out for one another who they don't know personally.
May 18, 2009 3:47 PM
Guest :
wow that explains it . . . after finding out that i am infact depressed i feel embaressed, i mean i dont spose anyone is in the same postition as me which is not knowing who to ask for help . .
May 22, 2009 8:15 AM
Guest :
I think I am depressed but i'm not even sure. About 2 months ago I found out that the love of my life cheated on me. We are together now but ever since than I havn't been the same. I've lost 10 pounds, I get headaches, nausea, dierreha( gross i know! ), crying for no reason at all, I get mad easily now, barley have an appetite( when I used to eat like a horse!), and i've become this mean girl. I have never snapped on anyone in my life before and a couple days ago I snapped on my mom & now I feel that way all the time. towards everyone. I hate this person i've become and I honestly don't know what to do. I don't wana talk to a shrink because i'm not crazy. But I just need to figure out what this is and I think it's depression?
I went to the doctor and took blood, stool, and urine tests. all came back negative. I just dont know what to do anymore. has anyone else ever felt all these symptoms. Please help , i'm in desperation to be happy again.
May 24, 2009 8:42 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
You could be struggling with depression, and a doctor would be the best one to diagnose it. Once you figure out what it is, your plan of attack or treatment will be much easier!

Seeing a counselor or therapist doesn't mean you're crazy. It's just like seeing a doctor for a physical health condition, or even taking your car to the mechanic for an engine problem.

I think everyone should go in for mental health tune-ups every few months! Sometimes our thinking, emotions, and actions get messed up...and the only way to get straight is to talk to an objective, trained counselor.

Anyway, to find out if you're depressed, compare yourself with the physical signs of depression above. Make an appointment with your doctor and be honest about every symptom you have. If he/she gives you a formal diagnosis and treatment suggestions, do a little research or get a second opinion to make sure you're doing the right thing.

Also -- sometimes life just gets us down. You mentioned that your partner cheated on you. Maybe your relationship needs a tweak.....have you considered couples counseling? Maybe you're struggling with a depression that stems from feeling betrayed, or that your relationship isn't as strong as it once was. Maybe if you tackle your feelings about your relationship, your feelings and signs of depression will lift.

Sorry I don't have any specific answers! But I encourage you to try the things I suggested...and if they don't work, try other things.

Keep in touch!

Laurie

May 25, 2009 11:45 AM
Guest :
i always thought i might be depressed but i didnt know for sure. i match up with almost all of the signs of depression. except i have never tried to kill myself & dont plan on it. i often find myself bored with life & searching for something new that can interest me & sometimes that leads to bad things. its weird, my day starts & if one little thing doesnt go right the whole day will be messed up. I'm very undecisive and dont know what i want with life. I just put on the fake smile people were used to before and keep going with life. I dont know why or what happened but i find myself so unhappy.i feel like i could be so much more but i have no idea where to start. im lost in my rambled thoughts, undecisive aspirations & depression. i just want to start over. i just want to feel alive again.
May 26, 2009 7:03 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
One way to find out if you're depressed - in addition to looking at the physical signs of depression - is to talk to your doctor. There's also an "online test for depression" (just Google that, and it should appear).

But it seems to me - and you know this isn't a medical diagnosis, it's just my thoughts - that you're struggling with basic life angst! What are we doing here, what's life all about, what's the point, and how should we be living......those questions can be depressing, especially if you don't have the answers.

I suggest you find ways to make your life meaningful, and see if that lifts your mood. How do you make your life meaningful? You experiment with different activities until you find what works for you! Think outside your comfort zone: go on a volunteer vacation - if you can't afford to volunteer overseas for a week or two, try building homes with an organization like Habitat for Humanity.

The idea is to get outside yourself and add meaning to your life. It's a strong possibility that this will make you feel better - and help you overcome those signs of depression.

Let me know how it goes,

Laurie
Jun 2, 2009 1:21 PM
Guest :
what am i supposed to do? after reading this i find that i fit everything! i am unable to seek help and have only one person i have told...she is in the same state...im way to young to seek help myself and my parents would never understand, ive even tried to tell them. ive researched all methods of self help and have attempted to rid myself of any possible reasons of my depression. im losing hair, i have lumps all over my neck from stress and havent slept in over 48 hours...my friend and i need help. we hate everyone and everything but eachother. we cant seem to feel any emotion towards our families and have never had steady relationship experiences. we're just kids, but we cant take anymore...what do we do? please
Jun 8, 2009 1:07 PM
Guest :
i need help
before i do something dangerous
i need to talk to somebody
but i dont want my parents to get involved
where can i go to talk to someone online?
Jun 8, 2009 6:23 PM
Guest :
im a kid and i think im depresed sincelittle it for myself i was thinking bad i think im depressed i put a coomment and it wasent post
Jun 9, 2009 8:10 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I'm sorry your comment didn't come through -- sometimes glitches in the system cause all sorts of problems!

How do you know you're depressed -- do you have most of the physical signs of depression above? If so, you need to talk to someone. Can you go to your parents, a teacher, a school counselor, or a relative? Dealing with depression isn't something you can do alone. You need to get real, in-person help with it.

Which leads me to the guest who commented before you! I can't recommend any online counselors or websites -- and I think it's better to talk to someone in person. You can't get the same type of help online, because someone needs to see and hear you to really know how to help you. Don't get me wrong, I think there's alot of value in forums and other ways of interacting online....but for something as serious as depression, it's important to get in-person help.

There's nothing wrong with struggling with depression. Depression isn't something to be ashamed of, and it can be treated in many ways!

Don't let your feelings of sadness or despair continue. Talk to someone in person, and come back here and let me know how it went.

Best wishes,
Laurie
Jun 9, 2009 2:20 PM
Guest :
This started mabey 2 weeks ago i started feeling incredbly upset about somthing i am not even sure about? It's like taking my life and turning everything upside down? I feel worried, sad and somtimes get angry about silly things. I cant really figure out what I am upset about? But it's litterally driving me insane everyday, it's impacting my life. I dont feel free and happy the way i used to be, yet i am not sure if i am just stressed and have depresshion or there's somthing seriously wrong with me? I have even been feeling shortness of breath, exstremly aggutated, could this have somthing to do with not drinking enough fluids or excerzising? I feel like someone is holding threre thumbs on my throat or somthing is stuck in my throat, i am getting a bit worried here, and I know I like to phyic myself out good! So a little help- please!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Jun 10, 2009 9:35 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
You can't get the help you need online - you need to talk to a doctor in person. It really sounds like you're dealing with physical and emotional signs of depression, but you can't get treatment unless you seek help!

Yes, not exercising enough or eating proper foods and fluids definitely affects how you feel. The more oxygen you get through aerobic-type exercise (biking, running, swimming), the more blood flows through your body, delivering healthy nutrients and eliminating toxins.

Exercise and nutritious food can improve your physical and mental health, but again...you need to see a doctor or counselor in-person to get a proper diagnosis and treatment. Something as potentially serious as depression can't be "cured" online.

You also search for "natural treatments for depression" on Google -- they may be helpful.

Good luck, and get help!

Laurie
Jun 29, 2009 4:04 PM
Guest :
this helps me a lot im glad that i found d right site. i know im getting depressed because im in health care profession and i have some idea about depression, but i dont know what to do, so i start researching bout depression. i know i need some help. but i dont know how to start? Should i tell tell my husband about it first? or just go and consult my doctor?
Jun 30, 2009 5:34 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Good for you for recognizing the signs of depression and having the courage to get help! That's great.

I suggest you do both: talk to your husband and consult your doctor. Let your husband know that you've been struggling with sadness for too long, it's time to get help, and you're making (or have already made) an appointment with your doctor.

Good luck -- I hope you find a treatment that works quickly and effectively! You're definitely on the path to feeling happier and more hopeful.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Jul 1, 2009 4:49 PM
Guest :
there are some mental illnesses like schizophrenia where the individual is unaware that they are even ill ... is depression like this or are you aware that your depressed? i only ask asmost of the list applies to me but i'm worried that i may just be over reacting or thats what people will think because someone said i dont have a reason to be depressed:(
Jul 1, 2009 4:50 PM
Guest :
there are some mental illnesses like schizophrenia where the individual is unaware that they are even ill ... is depression like this or are you aware that your depressed? i only ask asmost of the list applies to me but i'm worried that i may just be over reacting or thats what people will think because someone said i dont have a reason to be depressed:(
Jul 2, 2009 6:35 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Yes, you can struggle with depression or schizophrenia and not realize it -- there are definitely degrees of awareness. It depends on many factors: the person, the amount of time she/he's been struggling, genetics, the people around him/her, lifestyle, other medications -- lots of things.

You don't necessarily need a reason to be depressed! Sometimes brain chemicals just go a little wonky, for a variety of reasons (or even no reason at all). Sometimes the food you eat affects how you feel and behave. Sometimes your energy is blocked (an energy healer or intuitive would lean towards blocked energy as perhaps triggering depression).

Don't ignore any signs of depression. The best way to find out for sure is to go to an objective person, such as a doctor or counselor. They'll help you figure out if you're depressed, or just bored with life and need to make a change!

There are also online depression tests -- but I think it's better to see someone in person. That way, you can discuss treatments for depression, or learn what lifestyle changes you can make to help you feel happier and better about things.

Let me know how it goes -- and don't listen to people who say you have no reason to be depressed! They don't understand how depression works.

Laurie
Jul 2, 2009 11:23 AM
Guest :
thankyou you really helped to clear things up
Jul 7, 2009 11:45 AM
Guest :
me and my sister have always been super close...i mean its insane, we are just very close and have pretty much the same personalities and everything...
well she went off to california to do an internship out there...well turns out, she loves it...which i am so happy for
but including the 3 hour time difference...she has never really talked to me, and when she does its always really crabby and its like she doesnt even care about me anymore...
a few years ago, my grandma died, and that was a major impact on my life...i still cry because of her, but now that i look at it, it almost feels like my sister is dead too...
but the feeling is worse because i know she isnt dead, and every one of her mean texts just like eats me up alive...
i have just realized im depressed, and im really scared...
i dont want to talk to my mom about it...i dont wanna talk to anyone about it....
i just wanna get over it, without taking happy pills...
i need help
Jul 7, 2009 12:48 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I'm sorry it feels like you lost your sister. The worst part is, you really HAVE lost her, in a sense. You've lost the way things were...and it feels like you'll never be that close to her again.

Is this the first time in your relationship with her that you've taken different paths? All relationships go through ups and downs, times when you're close and times when you just don't connect - or you even dislike each other. It hurts, and it's not fair....but it's the way relationships are.

Chances are, this stage that your sister is going through will pass and you'll be closer than ever. The rough patches in relationships can serve to build stronger, closer bonds! But this only happens when you can TALK about those rough patches. If you avoid talking about the pain or your past, then you'll never be able to learn or get closer to the people you love.

I suggest setting boundaries with your sister. You're not her punching bad and she can't treat you poorly just because she's stressed or frustrated. Be clear about that - and be clear that you love her and you're there to listen if she needs to talk.

As for your depression and sadness, NOT talking about it will make it worse. The healthiest, most effective way to deal with pain is to go through it -- not to avoid or suppress it. You need to figure out a way to express how hurt you are. If you can't talk to anyone (and I wouldn't recommend antidepressants or happy pills unless you're chemically depressed), try writing about it. Take a kick boxing class and work out your anger and frustrations. Draw, paint, or sketch. Create something: plant a garden, make a scrapbook, build a bookshelf.

The idea is to get your emotions out somehow, so they don't eat you alive.

What do you think?

Laurie
Jul 9, 2009 11:24 PM
Guest :
i dont understand myself from the past few months.i was always anxious being separated from my partner.thinking that we can't be together because he is already married, i lost my confidence and the will to leave when the time comes he will give me up and let me go. i cannot deal with that.i always lock myself in my room and always wanted to talk to him.i always keep on blaming him if only he let me go long time ago i wont suffer the pains anymore. i have bad thoughts in my head i wanted to take revenge and ruin his family.his wife already discovered about us,yet my partner still is sticking with me.he said he wanted to stay with me whatever happens and as long as he lives.i dont know if he's just giving me false hope. all i wanted to do is to let go of these pains by taking revenge. i feel i am so down.i don't know wnat to do...
Jul 10, 2009 8:32 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Have you considered the idea that your depression is related to being in a relationship with a married man? He's not fully committed to you, he's not fully committed to his wife -- he's using both of you for different purposes.

You blame him for not letting you go. Why can't you take control of your life, and let him go?

I have to continue in a new comment box - we're having tech problems

Jul 10, 2009 8:35 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Taking revenge on his family won't improve your mood or help you feel better about yourself -- it'll only make you feel more depressed.

I encourage you to be strong, take control, and break off your relationship with him. He's destroying your self-respect and self-esteem -- but you're letting him.

Jul 15, 2009 9:12 AM
Guest :
I really liked this article.. I realize that I'm depress and its because of my ex boyfriend. I still love him and miss him but he cheated on me. It has been a year that this happened and I'm still in love with him. He calls and I talk to him but that is just makeing it harder for me to get over him. I feel really lonely and I don't know how I can meet a new guy to forget about him. any advise?
Jul 15, 2009 12:53 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
It's time for you to move on, my friend!

I answered your question in my Psychology blog.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "How Do I Help My Friend, Who Is Being Abused?" You can also find it in the July, 2009 list on the side panel.

I hope to see you there!

Laurie
Jul 16, 2009 3:46 PM
Guest :
Thanks. This Site really seems to help people out. Its a nice thing to do for them, what with the information.-Mr.100
Jul 20, 2009 10:00 PM
Guest :
I dont know wat 2 do wit myself anymo. I put a face 4 every1 2 c so dey dont ask Q's. I'm always sad, i get mad easily,i hate looken @ myself in da mirror nd i burned all da pics dat i luk ugly in. i new i was depressed but i dont go 4 help, i dont like ppl 2 no bout my life. I keep a diary nd rite everyting in der.it seems 2 help a bit. This started buildin up lil by lil.i dont eat anymo,i hurt myself but i dont do drugs o drink.i wanna cry @ nite but i dont allow myself 2,i tink its a sign of weakness. Im only 14 yrs old nd ive gone through so much.my past is horrible nd i dont like 2 luk bak,my present is misarble nd i jus wanna get 2 da future. No1 from skool likes me some ppl in mi family tink im horrible nd ugly nd i jus wanna b luved.its not much 2 ask...my own brotha calls me stupid,retarted fat nd ugly.i dont even no da point in life anymo.i hav scoliosis,a family history in cancer nd in high closterol.i dont wanna b dis way,but i feel...numb nd hopeless.im a smart gurl but not smart enuf 2 get out of dis state.plus im always stressed.i had 2 end my childhood @ 8yrs old cuz my grandma left mi nd my brotha 2 take care of kids 4 $.so im stuck in da house wit mi brotha,i cant do track o any otha activity cuz i need 2 take care of him.dis article did help a lil but i need a lil mo advice.i do cut myself nd im always fighten wit my mom nd brotha 2 every day.no 1 notices im this way do cuz i do a pretty gud job of act'n.i do hav most of da symptoms listed above...nd i'm only 14 turnen 15...help plzz
Jul 21, 2009 7:01 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I'm glad you're here, and that you have the guts to share a piece of your life! It's hard right now, but you WILL get through this. You have the power to overcome the nasty bits of your life -- and to live the life you dream of!

Blue, I can't give you all my thoughts here -- but I wrote an article for you on my Psychology blog.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "How Do I Get Help With My Depression?" You can also find it in the July, 2009 list on the side panel of that page.

I wish you all the best, and invite you to come back anytime.

Laurie
Jul 31, 2009 1:11 PM
Guest :
Hi, I am 14 going on 15 as well and I match alot of the sympotms and I wanna think that i'm depressed so it'll explain why i feel the way i do. But the truth is i just don't know. I mean for a few years now here and there sometimes for only a day and sometimes for a period of days i feel terrible and can't help but cry. Know one know that i feel like this because just like everyone else has been saying they try to hide it and so do i. I mean i don't want to come out and say that i have depression to my parents and friends because what if i do and no one believes me? People have commented that no one believes them and i don't want that to happen to me so i just seem more like freak. I have plenty of friends and i hang out with them alot, but even when i'm with them sometimes i feel terrible and want to cry but i can't because i don't want them to surround me with questions about if im ok and why im sad. Because the truth is i'm not ok and i have no clue what's causing this. Plus if i say i have depression and then it turns out i don't people will think im just trying to get attention. I have researched about depression before but didn't want to admit it but i think i should now. OK world i have depression! what r u gonna do about it? there i said it but i don't feel any better i don't feel like i got something big off my chest. I used to cut myself when i was 12 and then my mom found out one day and i had to stop. But here and there i do it again to to kinda of release in a way. When i do cut myself i feel so much better and im not doing it in a way that i'll seriously hurt myself,it's just so i can actually be in control of pain. Lately this week has been pretty bad, on sunday night i couldn't sleep at all and then i started to feel really crappy and then around 12:15 am i started to cry histerically and couldn't stop and i grabbed some tylenol pm and took 4 pills hoping it would knock me out quick so i could stop crying because i was tired of feeling terrible. but then i just cried harder right before i took the pills but once i took them i stopped and after about half an hour i started to get really sleepy and numb and started to feel some clarity if that makes sense. So i went to bed and then the next day i woke up around 1 in the afternoon and went to go hang out with my friend but later that night the whole happened again and the next day too! I often think about suicide but thought no 1 would care. Am i just looking for attention?Do i have depresion?
Jul 31, 2009 3:42 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
It's not possible to say if you're depressed, or if you're just going through "normal" teenage angst! During the teen years, hormones and brain chemicals are totally wonky and out of control, leading to extreme mood swings, irritability, fatigue, impulsiveness, and manic behavior. When I say it's not possible, I mean online. In person, if you talk to a counselor or psychologist, they'll be able to tell you if you're clinically depressed or struggling with bipolar disorder (manic depression).

Is there anyone you can talk to -- and adult you trust? That might help you feel more grounded. You KNOW people care about you -- your friends and family love you.

Do you ever talk about how you feel with your friends? They might be dealing with the same feelings, and nobody knows it because everyone is scared to open up!

And, remember that nutrition and sleep plays a HUGE role in how we feel. Not getting enough vitamin B can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and hopelessness. Make sure you're eating properly (something teens don't always do, which contributes to moodiness!). And, make sure you're on a regular sleep schedule. I feel like your mother, telling you these things -- but it's GOOD advice! Trust me.

I also encourage you to keep a journal, and write in it when you can't sleep. And, feel free to come back here and share your thoughts.

Good luck -- I hope something here helps!

Laurie
Aug 1, 2009 10:07 AM
Guest :
im 18 and i was dating a girl for about 7 months and she got pregnant and she told me she wanted to be with me and get married and raise our kid together but then she broke up with me out of nowhere and i have always been there for her and she doesnt want me or want to talk to me... she ruined my life because i didnt want my kid to be raised like me with the parents not together and now its going to be like that and i am never happy my dad kicked me out of the house because he is a dickhead. i wont get to see my kid ever. im going through depression im pretty sure...
Aug 1, 2009 4:28 PM
Guest :
I always knew I was depressed, but had know way of proving it.......it's hard for other people to understand or diagnose it to you. I've wanted to cry every hour of my life....but haven't. I'm an adult but feel to dumb, nervous, hideous to be one, so I feel ashamed at all times, I lie in bed most the morning awake staring at the ceiling.
I've lost touch with friends...feel guilty about it, but can't bring my self to get in touch.
In my mobile hours......which is not long, I do creative stuff, Art and drama, which I no longer enjoy so its become a chore which I do to keep me sane....but I discovered it doesn't.
I blame society, and myself for letting it bother me sooo much.
Aug 3, 2009 4:41 PM
Guest :
i'm only 13 and i know that i am depressed but i don't want to tell my parents cause they will take it overboard and my mom suffers from depression too.i want to get help but i don't want my parents finding out, i can't change it i've been like this ever since my grandma had died.i'm so scared cause i've been having suicidal thoughts for the longest time i just can't change whats been going on
Aug 4, 2009 3:22 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Your parents might surprise you in how helpful they can be with your depression! It can be difficult for a teenager to get help for depression alone, but anything is possible. I highly recommend getting an adult's support -- in-person, not just online.

I wrote a post on my Psychology blog about overcoming depression, and those tips might help.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "How Do I Get Help For My Depression?" You can also find it in the July, 2009 list on the side panel.

Again, I encourage you to find an adult you trust. Even adults can't overcome or treat depression by themselves! Everyone needs support, my friend.

Laurie
Aug 12, 2009 11:02 AM
Guest :
My boyfriend has depression and I'm feeling so rejected. How do I gain strength to be strong. How do I process this? He doesn't care about me anymore and I love him so much. We are still together but I can't live like this anymore. I daydream that oneday he'll be so nice and sweet me. I feel that Ive overstayed my welcome and when I try to express this to him he ignores me.
No matter if I stay with him or leave my heart is shattered, it feels injured and heavy inside my body. I cry several times a day.
Aug 12, 2009 2:09 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I wrote two articles on dealing with your partner's depression. Those may be helpful. Just search for "Quips and Tips Coping Partner's Depression", and the article should appear (it's on my blog, called Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals).

Many people are coping with signs of depression from their boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses. You'll find people on that site who are going through the same thing you are, which may be reassuring for you.

Best wishes,
Laurie
Aug 18, 2009 11:23 AM
Guest :
i am only 16..and i have red this and i can definatley relate to everything that is being sid.I have been on so many thngs ike this and all the syptons of depression i seem to face.I dont hae any friends and i dont think my boyfriend loves me.I ave made bd mistakes in my life that now soo many people hte me my family cant trust me.And my 1 and only best mate hs turnedd his back on me.I have been constantly thiking of hnging myself or driking bleech.Please soeone help me i dont want to ring helplines i jus want to die. :(
Aug 18, 2009 3:54 PM
Guest :
i might be depressed im only 10 and for the last two weeks i have been felling like crap inside and dont want to go to bed i would feel better if i went on holiday again.
Aug 19, 2009 8:41 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
To the last two guests, who are 10 and 16 years old:

I just wrote an article called "Help for Depressed Teenagers" here on Suite 101. To read it, please go to the top of this article, and click on the first link ("Help for Depressed Teenagers" -- I just added it today).

Also, it's important to remember that you don't have to feel this way! You CAN get help to overcome your feelings of depression -- but you have to talk to an adult. Even adults who are struggling with depression have to talk to other adults! The only way to overcome the feelings and signs of depression is to get help.

Regarding feeling better if you went on holiday again: just think....in a few months, Christmas will be here and you'll have your holiday :-)

Read the article that I mentioned, and come back again if you have any questions. But, I encourage you to talk to an adult in your life, in person, about your feelings. You can't get the help you need online.

Best wishes,
Laurie
Aug 20, 2009 5:10 AM
Guest :
i am really really depressed now .. please help me to get through.. i love him.. but i can't be with him.. i told him but he doesn't understand. what am i supposed to do???
Aug 20, 2009 5:52 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I'm sorry, but I don't think there's anything you can do regarding him, to make him want to be with you. It's so hard when people make decisions about their lives that involve letting us go...trust me, I know. Most people have been left by people they love.

If your signs of depression are serious (that is, you can't function properly because you feel so bad) -- please get in person help. Call a distress line, make an appointment with a counselor, or talk to your doctor.

And, there are several things you can do to take care of yourself! I know you don't think you can be happy without him, but you have to let go of that thought. It's wrong! You CAN live a happy, fulfilling, healthy life without this person -- but you need to take control of your life. You need to start moving forward. Nobody can do that for you.

I can, however, point you to a list of articles about surviving a break up (I tried to do that above, but put the wrong title in my directions! My apologies for that). But, I did answer your question in my Psychology blog.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "How Do I Get Over My Ex-Boyfriend?" You can also find it in the July, 2009 list on the side panel. It contains a list of articles about surviving a breakup, which will help you get over him and move past your depression.

Remember -- it takes time and effort on your part. You have to remember that this man is NOT the source of your happiness!

Best wishes,

Laurie
Aug 20, 2009 9:02 PM
Guest :
I am 21 years old.I read the signs an found it matching with my situation.I am afraid to talk about it to talk with any one. I fear of being called mentally ill if I tell and also fear of being treated differently. I want to live a happy life but something don't seems to get out of my head. I know that nothing is wrong around me, but still I am worried about nothing. I want to get rid of this problem desperately but unable to do so.Is not there any solution to this problem so that i can implement it by myself. I also thought of counselling but do not know any proper person to do so. What should I do?? I don't to live live with depression or anxiety related problem.Is there any great solution for it?
Aug 21, 2009 6:48 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I'm afraid I don't have any great solutions for coping with depression that don't involve reaching out to people!

It sounds like you're dealing with anxiety, and your anxious feelings are affecting your health and well-being. This does NOT mean you are "mentally ill". It's like any health issue -- we can't control whether we get indigestion, cancer, hair loss, excessive hair growth, back problems, fibromyalgia, etc.

Anxiety, depression, or other emotional health issues are just as common and as "normal" as physical health issues. It's just that emotional health issues are seen as weird by people who don't understand them or who are afraid of them. Ignorance (not understanding something) breeds fear and even hatred.

But, back to you: I suggest you talk to someone you trust, who you are reasonably certain won't make fun of you. Think of the mature adults in your life: who is open to solving problems and coping with life's challenges?

Another option is to call a distress line -- it's anonymous, and they'll help you figure out the next best step.

The ironic thing is that anxiety disorders and some types of depression are often very easily treated! You don't have to live like this -- but you do have to find your courage, step up to the plate, and get help. I can't give you any magic solutions online -- I can't offer individual psychological advice like that.

A third option is to find a counselor. Remember, they deal with emotional health issues all day long (that's their JOB), so there's nothign to be embarrassed or ashamed about. To find a counselor, you could look in the Yellow Pages, Google "counselors 'your city'", or call the mental health office at a local university or college (even if you're not a student, they'll tell you how to find a counselor).

It might even take only one phone call, and you'll be on your way to living a happy, productive life!

Good luck -- and remember that taking action to solve your problems is empowering. It's difficult and requires stepping out of your comfort zone, but you can do it, my friend. And you'll be glad you did!

Laurie
Aug 26, 2009 6:01 PM
Guest :
hi. im pretty young and apparently im depressed. but theirs one weird thing. i hate people but extremly nice to them even if im wishing theyd go away. it doesnt make sense to me. im even labled "the nice girl" at school. can someone explain that to me please?
Aug 26, 2009 6:08 PM
Guest :
hi. im 13, almost 14 and i guess im depressed according to this thing. im not sure if i like this site but im not saying its wrong or anything. by the way, even if i am drepressed, im not telling my parents. but whatever, it doesnt matter
Aug 27, 2009 7:09 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
To the "nice girl" guest,

I'm not sure if I can explain your behavior, or if I even understand your question. Why do you hate people? Do you think it's tied in with feeling depressed?

If you get help with your depression, you might stop wanting people to go away. Talking to someone about how to cope with depressed feelings might be the best first step. Then, you can figure out the rest of it. And, talking to a counselor might help you figure out your behavior.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful! It's good that you're trying to figure stuff out, but some problems need in-person help...

Best wishes,

Laurie
Aug 30, 2009 9:05 PM
Guest :
I havent read all the comments, just a few
but I hope you realise some of the symptoms listed is common in just about everyone
does that mean we are all likely depressed?
that cannot be true
before you tell yourself you are depressed, think about it
dont assume it because you happen to relate to the things listed
not from a general article, especially on the internet
if you think you are depressed, talk to someone you trust or do that then speak to a doctor
please dont do anything rash
Sep 8, 2009 9:33 PM
Guest :
im 15 and my family is in debt and im depressed all the time. i cant do anything. i need to find somebody that can help. i just dont know where to go. im up until 2-4 in the morning, i dont get any sleep. i need somebodys help. :'(
Sep 9, 2009 7:36 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,

You’re right – you do need to find someone who can help with your depression! The sooner to talk to someone in person, the better off you’ll be.

I know how difficult it is to talk about depression and needing help, and I admire you for talking about it here. But, finding support online is only the first step.

Please read my article called “Help for Depressed Teenagers” – the link is at the very top of this article. I can’t tell you anything better or more helpful here; I put everything I know into that article!

Also, consider calling a local distress line, teen depression helpline, or national depression hotline.

Remember that you’re not alone; a lot of teenagers struggle with depression. They may not talk about it or confide in their friends, but many feel depressed. Getting help for depression is as sign of strength and courage! Again, the sooner you get help, the happier you’ll be in the long run.

Best wishes,
Laurie
Sep 10, 2009 12:10 PM
Guest :
Scary...I have all those signs but when i try and tell my mother then she gets angry so i rather just leave it..Ill only be able to get help when im out the house unfortunately..."home" is not what it should be.
Sep 28, 2009 12:20 PM
Guest :
This article made me realize that am depress i din't know that...i though i was okay but i guess am not....i whish i just could stop wat am feeling right now...how can i do it???
Sep 28, 2009 5:04 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,

You need to get help if you feel depressed. It’s difficult because people who are depressed don’t always have the energy or motivation to get help, but that’s exactly what they need to do!

If you can, call your local distress or help line. Talk to your doctor, a pastor, counselor, or someone you trust. Be open and honest about how you feel.

Above all, remember that you don’t have to live with feelings of depression. You can overcome them – but first you need to figure out what the cause of your depression is. Then, you can start to get treatment for it…and what that is depends on your personality, genetics, and the cause of your depression.

I hope this helps a little. I also encourage you to go to my Psychology blog – I’ve written several posts about overcoming feelings of depression.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to the articles about depression in the side panel.

Best wishes,
Laurie
Oct 5, 2009 1:46 PM
Guest :
All I can think about is the fact that I am depressed. It's starting to pigeon-hole me and I think to make me more depressed. This is a cycle that is vicious, and by now I know that, but for me it's also unpredictable. I can have a really goo couple of days and then it goes back to the alienation and depression. I consider myself to by a socially oriented person and the way I am withdrawing is really starting to hurt my self esteem.

I am surrounded by a lot of positive influences and good social support but the more I hear from them the less I want to. I feel so vulnerable but at the same time am trying to come to terms with the realities in my life that are very different than what I thought they would be when I was younger.
I am a second year undergraduate student, and I don't know if moving closer to home (now Im 7 hours away) would help me. Any advice?
Oct 5, 2009 10:40 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,

I’m sorry you’re dealing with depression at college or university – being a student can be stressful enough without having to cope with sad or depressed feelings!

My first thought for you is to get support and guidance from one of the school’s counselors. I can’t tell you if you should move closer home or not. You need to talk through your thoughts and feelings, and determine how much of your mood is because you’re dealing with becoming an adult (you mentioned dealing with realities in your life, and that’s one of the most depressing parts of growing up, my friend!).

I can’t write all my other suggestions for you here, but I’ve responded on my Psychology blog in a specific post, called “Help for Depressed College Students.”

To get there, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Help for Depressed College Students” – it’s in the October, 2009 section on the side panel.

Best wishes,
Laurie
Oct 10, 2009 9:06 PM
Guest :
plz.. continue doing such things for us young people to be informed
Oct 18, 2009 11:16 AM
Guest :
this article helped me realize im depressed, but when i finally told my parents they told me i was being overdramatic. they keep telling me to stop being stupid but i really need help to get over this my parents are making me get worse. can someone please give me advice on how to get help. my parents refuse to send me to a therapist or take any antidepressants.
Oct 18, 2009 9:42 PM
Guest :
im 16
for the past couple of months ive been feeling this... sinking, sorta heavy feeling in the middle of my chest (between the ribs). My mind cant keep concentrated on things when i sit down and think, they are always negative thoughts, i always see the worse of things. My gf, whome ive loved for 2-3 years. Im constantly scared of her hurting me, or cheating on me, and no matter what people tell me i just cant seem to believe in the "good" things in my life. The feeling usually makes me feel like crying, but not all the time. Am i depressed?
Oct 19, 2009 6:02 AM
Guest :
Im 36 years old, recently i lost the love of my life, she left me she didnt care, moved to texas to be with another man, i slaved for 6 years to provide every kind of life for her, now im stuck here alone, i recently sent my 5 year old son to live with her, she being pregnant was very difficult, cause i was supposed to be the one with the luxury of having a family, i recently quit my job, and got it back again, this week im the same way dont want to go to work dont want to talk to anyone, dont want to go downtown to maybe see someone i know, whats wrong with me, i dont eat very much, im not over weight, i just dont care anymore, every interest i have ever had i have basically thrown it out the window, what should i do
Oct 19, 2009 6:41 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,

To the reader whose parents say he or she is being overdramatic: I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with depression. It’s frustrating when people don’t take you seriously – especially your parents!

I wrote a post for my Psychology blog with you in mind. It’s called “When Your Parents Don't Believe You're a Depressed Teenager” and it lists a few ideas about how to cope, plus links to different articles about teen depression.

To read that post, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “When Your Parents Don't Believe You're a Depressed Teenager” – you’ll also find it in the Oct, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope it helps!

Best wishes,
Laurie
Oct 19, 2009 6:50 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,

To the reader who is 16 and struggling with his love for his girlfriend…I’m sorry, but I can’t tell if you’re depressed or not. To determine if you’re dealing with depression, you really need to see someone in person (a counselor or psychologist). This article and my role is just to help people recognize general signs of depression.

That said, it sounds like you’re dealing with feelings of anxiety, not depression. They’re very different things! Just today, I wrote an article called “Solutions for Depressed or Anxious Teens” – and the symptoms you describe remind me of the signs of anxiety I listed in that article.

Please read that article and let me know if you think you’re dealing with anxiety. Unfortunately I can’t post links to articles here, but if you search for “Solutions for Depressed or Anxious Teens” in Google, it should be the first article listed. You can add “Suite101” for good measure.

I also encourage you to talk to an adult you trust about your feelings. Talk to someone who can help you figure out if you should talk to a counselor. Counselors are trained and objective, and can help you figure out the root of the problem – and the solutions!

Best wishes,
Laurie
Oct 19, 2009 6:56 PM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Hi,

To the reader who is 36 and depressed because he lost the love of his life…I’m sorry about the breakup. It’s so difficult and sad to lose someone you love.

First, I suggest giving yourself time to heal. You’re mourning the loss of a very important relationship. This takes time – you’re going through the first stages of grief, and you’re reacting appropriately to your loss.

Second, I suggest expressing your feelings somehow. Try to tap into your sadness, anger, pain – whatever it is you feel – and express it in writing, words, pictures, or dance (trust me, it works!). Expressing your feelings of sadness and pain can help you heal.

Third, I suggest you read about letting go of someone you love. I run another website called Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals, and my article called “How to Let Go of Someone You Love” is the most popular article on that site. Letting go and healing after loss is incredibly difficult and painful – but usually it does get better with time. To find that article, Google “how to let go of someone you love.” It should be the first article, or very close to the top.

Best wishes,
Laurie
Oct 22, 2009 12:27 PM
Guest :
i never really thought i was depressed i just thought that i was having a lot of stress. when i read these symptoms i realized that actually do have depression.
Oct 29, 2009 11:07 PM
Guest :
this is such a good article.. it really what i've been searching for.....



but i'm really shocked that even my little behaviours are actually sighns of depression....

I am depressed.....
Nov 8, 2009 5:50 PM
Guest :
Ive been reading some of these articles and I realized I'm depressed. Couldn't help whining and sniffing. As I went reading I went nodding and nodding.I just can't do anything. I don't believe nobody can understand me I just know it.
Nov 9, 2009 1:20 AM
Guest :
Definitely a good article, tx. While most of your advice is directed towards the reader, Laurie, what abt someone I know who needs help. I think she is seriously depressed for the last 3 years but denies it and also refuses to consider professional help. It is sad to see that it has even caused rift in the family. I am unable to see someone going down even as I cannot do anything abt it!
Nov 9, 2009 1:25 AM
Guest :
hi there, everyone! the world is made up of the goods and the bads of life, friends! Do feel sad when things go out of hand. At the same time, feel and enjoy the joys of life too! I myself have gone thru lots of ups and downs in life, but when i look back at the experiences, I get energy to keep going on and looking forward to new excitement! It is not worth hurting yourself even more. It is certainly not worth trying suicide.....think of all those people who love you, that you leave behind.....try doing things that will give you and your dear ones happiness....however small it may be! Cheers!
Nov 10, 2009 9:48 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
To the second guest on Nov 9: Thanks for your thoughts!

To the first guest on Nov 9:

Yes, you make a good point about helping people who are depressed – I don’t address that above. It’s difficult to help a friend with depression because some people feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for or accept help. And, people struggling with depression don’t have the energy it takes to tackle an emotional health issue!

I wrote a blog post about helping people with depression, called “How Do I Help a Friend or Family Member With Depression?” I can’t go into too much detail here, nor can I post links, so I find that answering questions in a blog post is better.

To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “How Do I Help a Friend or Family Member With Depression?” – you’ll also find it in the November, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope it helps, and welcome you to respond either there or here.

Best wishes,
Laurie
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