How to Stop Emotional Eating

Overcoming the Craving to Snack Mindlessly

Aug 30, 2007 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

If you have an emotional eating disorder or you eat when you're sad, then diets & exercise won't help. Instead, here are ways to overcome the craving to snack mindlessly.

If you want to stop emotional eating, you need to be honest with yourself about why you're snacking mindlessly. To overcome cravings, you must identify what you're really feeling -- and cope with your feelings differently. All the weight loss tips in the world won't help you stop eating emotionally unless you know why you're compelled to snack mindlessly!

If you're really struggling with emotional eating, consider joining a group such as Food Addicts Anonymous. For more information, read How Food Addicts Anonymous Works.

Overcoming Emotional Eating: What Are You Really Hungry For?

Physical and emotional hunger feel different. To learn the difference, let yourself get really physically hungry. When your stomach starts growling and you feel light-headed, then you're physically hungry. To stop emotional eating, you need to recognize when you're emotionally hungry versus physically hungry.

As an emotional eater, you may not often allow yourself to get physically hungry. You eat to soothe yourself, celebrate, mourn, socialize or relieve boredom. Emotional eaters don't wait for bodies or stomachs to signal meal time. To stop emotional eating, you must eat to satisfy physical hunger -- and not slip into mindless snacking.

Learn the Difference Between Physical and Emotional Hunger

• Emotional hunger can develop suddenly, or it can be an accumulation of your day: snubbed by a colleague, betrayed by a friend, leaving your reluctant child at daycare, losing a business contract. At the end of the day all you want to do is mindlessly eat a bag of chips, tub of ice cream or crates of take-out Chinese food – and stare at the tv.
• Emotional eaters don't listen to their bodies. To stop emotional eating, you must tune in to the cues.
• Emotional hunger isn't related to time. That is, you can feel emotionally hungry in the middle of the night, at three in the afternoon, or during the Late Show. Emotional eaters may mindlessly eat more at non-mealtimes than at mealtimes.
• Emotional hunger – and emotional eating – often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. You could stop emotional eating if you deal with those feelings.
• Emotional eaters don't feel content or pleasantly satisfied after they eat. They feel sick.
• Emotional eaters still feel empty after they've eaten. To stop emotional eating, you must learn to satisfy your emotional hunger other ways.

Overcoming Cravings: Do You Want Ice Cream or Someone to Talk To?

When you're struggling with a craving or feel driven to eat mindlessly, stop for a moment. How are you feeling? Sad, overwhelmed, angry, hurt, rejected, hopeless, scared? To stop emotional eating, find ways to express your feelings instead of eating. Call a friend, go for a walk, write, talk to a therapist, do Yoga, weed the garden, or clean the bathroom. Turn away from mindlessly eating food to feeling your true feelings.

8 Tips to Stop Emotional Eating:

1. Learn the difference between physical and emotional hunger, which is the difference between eating to fill a physical need and eating emotionally.
2. Eat slowly and listen to your body for clues that you're physically satisfied.
3. Don't eat mindlessly in front of the tv.
4. Don't deprive yourself of foods you love – just don't overdo it.
5. Don't eat in bed or on the sofa. Eat at the kitchen table. Stop emotional eating by eating in the same place all the time.
6. Treat your body with respect: nourish it, move it around, listen to it, and pamper it. Tune in to your body to stop emotional eating.
7. Look for connections between the events in your day and your cravings for food. Identify the triggers that push you over the line and make you want to eat mindlessly (eg, fights with your partner or child).
8. Deal with your triggers. If you can't cut them from your life entirely, find better ways to cope with your feelings. Eating mindlessly makes things worse.

Though these tips to stop emotional eating may seem difficult at first, they will become habit after a few weeks! With practice and time, you can overcome your cravings.

Related Reading on Emotional Eating

Emotional eating can be connected to eating disorders. If abnormal eating behaviors, such as binging and purging, is part of your life, read Overcoming Bulimia.

To learn more about weight loss, read Effective Weight Loss Articles (a round up of articles about losing weight) or 8 Tips for Achieving Your Diet Goals.

The copyright of the article How to Stop Emotional Eating in Psychology is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish How to Stop Emotional Eating in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

How to Stop Emotional Eating

26 Comments

Comments

May 10, 2008 9:42 AM

mahlet :

how can i stop eating ?? i just can stop it i have did all typs of dit read it seen it but i eand up eating and getting fat help me pls

May 11, 2008 6:20 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Figuring out why you're really eating -- the emotional reasons -- could help. I read yesterday that most overweight people are avoiding or struggling with self-hatred, fear, unresolved emotions, etc.

Maybe it's not the diet itself that you need to focus on. Maybe it's the reasons you're eating that's the real root of the problem.

Aug 17, 2008 6:56 PM

Guest :

I am so caught up in emotional eating.
My Dad was in the hospital 1/06 for 6 months due to surgeon error, I spent 6 months in the hospital fighting for his life. He survived.
During that time my Real Mother died on my Birthday 8/26, I didn't have a relationship and hadn't talked to her in years.
My Dad is home with my Step Mom(42 years), everyday is a challenge with my Dad who goes to dialysis 3x week because of the hospital screw up.
He went to the hospital agaon on 8/1/08 and stayed until 8/11/08.
My Step-Mom, recently diagnosed with neck cancer started 33 radiation treatments.
My Daughter is 26, she works in a bar, in an alcoholic but won't get a grip. I can't save her, tried for 5 years...finally told her that's it, I love you but stay away from me until you come to terms with you addiction and seek help.
My marriage of 8 years is done, I ask him to leave the home 12/06, still separated because I can't afford to pay for a divorce right now plus I have so many other emotionally drainers going on. He continues to call, I take the clal becaseu he'll keep calling....I tell him I don't love you I want a divorceJust another stressor!
I work hard as a marketing consultant for a compounding pharmacy and work with physicians and veterinarians daily.

I have gained 60 lbs in 2.5 years. I am educated in proper nutrition but yet I don't take/make the time to go to the grocery store instead grabbing food on the run or restaurant food.

I walk daily but don't have enough time to return to my gym or focus on myself...instead I eat s- -t that's quick and easy.
This is emotional eating at it's finest.

I know the beginning point is to plan my weekly meals and only eat while seated at the table...

I see a Christian Counselor just so I keep me balance.

Any suggestions on how to grab the reins and get control of my destructive eating patterns?

Sep 2, 2008 11:51 AM

Guest :

It's such a tough road....emotional eating....I was doing OK....but this man I was seeing played head games with me....now the emotional stuff is stronger than ever and the eating...OMG...my stomach hurts....

I can't get back in control....I know it's not right...and I will gain weight....much less the problems it's causing with my diabetes right now....

to top it off..I suffer from depression.....right now it's not good....
I keep trying to get back on track...away from the junk....it's so hard...I crave it...

and I ask myself why? what is in that candy I love so much....that I let it hurt me.....

I have NO idea....none...

Sep 27, 2008 4:22 PM

Guest :

I don't mindlessly eat,but I get really mad after I eat.I want to have enough energy for my gym class,I eat fruits,veggies & grain,but I wish I could have enough energy w/out eating much.I never eat candy,greesy food or much meat.How come when ever I eat my stomach expands alot?It doesn't happin of course when I don't eat.My Mom says I don't eat nearly as much as other 17yr. old people.But even if I eat a little my stomach expands just as much,that's what makes me really mad.I'm not boney,but I don't eat as much as others my age,but I still see some boney poeple and they eat normally.How come that happins?I would like it if anyone could respond.Thanx!!

Oct 18, 2008 8:35 PM

Guest :

This is wonderful information, I've done lots of research on the subject of emotional eating and I've also worked on a Christian-based approach online at Setting Captives Free, go to "The Lord's Table" for a step by step program that helps you recognize overeating and overcome it by a Biblical approach. It is a free program and you get wonderful feedback from a mentor that encourages and supports you through it all.

Jan 8, 2009 7:40 AM

Guest :

I've been trying to stop binge eating for about 2 years now. I get through weeks at times, but then the habits come back. I find that I am mostly prone to binge eating after I go out for dinner...which seems bizzare because it is usually then when I am most full!! I think it's because I feel as if I've already gone "off track" in my diet (I'm trying to lose weight) so it doesn't really matter if I binge eat afterwards. It also happens when I am stressed or have nothing to do. I really want to stop this!!! Help!

Jan 8, 2009 8:02 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I know EXACTLY how you feel -- it's like I wrote your comment!

There are emotional and practical ways that could help you stop. The emotional ways involve figuring out why you're stressed, angry, bored, or sad by talking about your feelings, journaling, going for walks or doodling/drawing/painting. Once you figure out why you feel upset, then it may help you stop eating to comfort yourself.

The practical ways include distracting yourself by playing with your kids, calling your best friend, brushing your teeth, chewing sugarfee gum, knitting, reading, going out to a movie, etc. Getting yourself away from food or the temptation to eat helps.

And, give yourself 20 minutes to make a decision. That is, if you've gone out for dinner and are full, but still want to tear into that bag of chips at home, wait for 20 minutes. That's how long it takes a craving to pass, and after 20 minutes you may not want to eat anymore!

Good luck -- and know you're not alone :-)
Laurie

Jan 9, 2009 5:53 PM

Guest :

Thank you so much for your response! It's always reassuring to know that I am not alone in this. This problem honestly has such a huge impact on my everyday life which is why I want so bad to fix it. Binge eating just makes me feel negative, depressed, and hopeless...yet I continue to do it. I think taking 20 minutes will help a lot because I know that when I am in a situation where I feel the urge, yet I can't do it (because I am with someone, at some place etc) then the urge passes. So taking time even when I am able to do it just may be the key to stopping this. I just have to make sure that I am able to get myself to stop for a little while and think.

Feb 3, 2009 12:22 AM

Guest :

I eat constantly. I just had a baby and i eat like i am still pregnant. i dont kno if its emotional eating or not.

Feb 22, 2009 7:56 AM

Guest :

these tips are completely useless without a support group or counselor to walk through months or years of hard work necessary to actually address the underlying emotional issues.

it's like saying "hey, alcoholics! you drink because you are stressed and unhappy. now that you know, you can just start going to the gym or calling a friend instead!"

Apr 27, 2009 2:12 PM

Guest :

To the Sept 27, 2008 guest- the 17 year-old person (and all of you):
From a Chinese Medicine (acupuncture and herbal medicine) point-of-view, there may be a few potential issues at work here. Some people don't have as strong a digestive function, either constitutionally or at certain times of their life. I've seen Chinese Medicine help many with similar issues. If that's not up your alley, you could try taking probiotic vitamins or probiotics to help your digestion and re-establish a strong healthy system. More reputable health stores have knowledgeable staff. I always educate myself as well and try to listen to my body's reaction. Each individual has his/her own unique constitution so there's really no panacea drug or diet, etc.
Are there certain foods that trigger the bloating: dairy foods, cold foods, combining uncomplementary foods like fruit and meat, or just really dense foods together like humus and hamburgers.
Secondly, if you're stressed when you do eat, maybe wondering "will I bloat, will I get mad", etc.; that stress could be predisposing you. In the fight-or-flight mode (sympathetic nervous system response), the body re-directs blood flow away from digestion, going to the bathroom, etc. so that you can react to danger (think prehistoric sabertooth tigers chasing a caveman.
As an aside, one theory I've heard is that people with compulsive eating issues may be using eating to interrupt their being stuck in a sympathetic response. It is difficult to remain in the "fight-or-flight" mode and also be eating. Who has time to eat if there's a sabertooth tiger lurking around the corner? Eating is an act that inducing parasympathetic response(relaxed state). EMDR (google it) has been used successfully in retraining the brain's response to tramatic events that a person relives as a result of ptsd (post-tramatic stress sydrome).
I'm on my journey just like you gals, so good luck in your journer too. Be curious, ask questions, and forgive- yourself and others.

May 14, 2009 5:47 AM

Guest :

guest:
when someone invits me to a dinner or wedding even before one month i usually panic because i have nothing to wear and my old dresses are too tight so instead of starting a new diet and a fast one i start eating eating eating .. in addition when im sick i eat .. when i have a headache i eat ! i am on a diet and a real one when i don't have stress and when i feel like eating salads and steaks !! but im always hungry i read a lot of articles telling us to drink water when hungry but useless now i hate water ... diet is my nightmare and i went ot see a surgeon for sleeve gastro but i changed my mind.. i dont like to be thin but i prefer to be thinner and to lose my belly fat .. in addition before period it's hell ! i have to eat too much because PMS period !! how come ? and sometimes it goes on and on and on ... any idea to help me ?

May 14, 2009 6:29 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

To stop emotional eating (losing weight will be a happy consequence of dealing with your emotions and anxieties), you need to separate your feelings from your food behavior.

When you feel anxious or afraid, you need to sit with it for a few minutes. Let yourself feel panicked and scared -- just for a short while. Emotional eating stems from NOT letting yourself feel your feelings, so you need to do the opposite: feel your fear!

And, you need to find other ways to cope with your feelings of anxiety or fear. What - other than food - makes you feel calm, happy, and centered? Try different things: walking outside, calling a friend, cuddling your cat, knitting, reading, taking a bubble bath, writing, scrapbooking......whatever reduces your stress level.

An additional option is to get counseling, to figure out the root of your emotional eating. My community has an "anorexia and bulimia support group", which is an excellent way to get support -- because it helps you realize you're not alone! And, you have the chance to figure out the cause of your emotional eating.

Does this help? You could also come back here and comment when the cravings hit! I can't promise immediate support, but it may help you to know that you're not totally alone :-)

Come back soon,
Laurie

Jun 9, 2009 3:17 PM

Guest :

I just came upon this site. I can relate to all. I am having a hard time getting back on the wagon. Right now all I want to do is eat, however I don't want to eat more. If I can get thru just today. And makeup my mind that today I will not binge. Thanks for listening

Jun 29, 2009 1:09 PM

Guest :

I hate being an emotional eater only cos I have no one to talk to. I even tried therapy and all i was told I'm complaining too much, I'm spoiled, I'm going thru a life change. I want to find someone to talk to and I can't seem to make or keep friends. I'm hurting inside. Is there an article about taking away the hurt?

Jun 29, 2009 4:00 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

What kind of hurt do you mean? Are you talking about emotional eating, not making friends, feeling misunderstood, or struggles with self-esteem?

To deal with your hurt inside, I suggest first figuring out WHY you're in pain. The more you can isolate it, the better chance you'll have at dealing with it.

I understand that your pain may be a result of all the things you mentioned, but it's still really helpful to narrow it down. Then, once you figure out what is causing you the most pain, you can tackle it.

Does this make sense? I'm sorry I don't have a more concrete answer!

Laurie

Jul 8, 2009 6:00 AM

Guest :

I found all the comments and tips here really interesting, this is a great post. The part about waiting until the craving goes away makes so much sense - but almost all the time I get caught up in the moment and the thought of being rewarded with food is so overwhelming that I am going for the fridge without even thinking. For me, the instant gratification and positive reinforcement is a huge factor in my emotional eating - how do you begin to control this? I get so much enjoyment while eating that I forget how weak and guilty and bloated I'll feel afterwards. Food is my favourite reward, and eating is always such an incredible relief, it's basically a dopamine rush. I can't see how to get out of this cycle because you can't distract yourself all the time, and the more I try to control my eating, the more anxious I get it. I will try to 'feel the fear', but it is exhausting :(

Jul 13, 2009 8:04 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Not only do I hear you, I totally understand where you're coming from! I've given some extra tips for overcoming emotional eating in my Psychology Blog.

Just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "How Do I Overcome Emotional Eating?"

I hope to see you there!

Laurie

Sep 11, 2009 11:15 AM

Guest :

these tips really help, over the past year i have been through alot and put on 2 stone because of emotional eating. i do eat constantly until i feel sick and sometime i even carry on, i wont go into why i feel so down but its hard not being able to talk to friends and when your bf says he doesnt want to hear it ... well that hurts 10 times more.
lifes hard i know that now after the year i have been through. Im going to use these tips and sort myself out cos i have reached the point where i cant look at myself in a mirror anymore cos of my weight.
its tips like these which give us the sligh push to pull ourselves together and i have finally got advice on a part of my life where i needed it.

Sep 13, 2009 3:54 AM

Guest :

I get to the evening after being good all day and for some rason I have this enormous cravings sometimes sugar and othe times carbsand ea until overfull. i am starting to think I may not be eating enough through the day. I have slowly gained over 20kg over 15 years. I keep saying it doesn't matter but now my health is being affected. I do question why people don't connect with me as I do not seem to make friends easily. I don't see thing like others I do not like people who play studpid or make fun of others I have been told I am too serious and to lighten up. I find myself alone alot but then I do not trust many people. I do get lonely

Sep 13, 2009 7:41 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I usually only respond when a reader asks a question – but your comment really touched my heart! I, too have been told that I’m too serious, and to lighten up.

It sounds like you’re really struggling with food and people. And, your connection with others can really affect your relationship with food (as you may already have figured out!).

Based on your comment, I wrote a post called “How to Stop Eating at Night” on my Psychology Blog. You’re not alone, my friend – many people are struggling with the same thing. I think you’d benefit from a combination of practical tips for eating habits and some emotional healing.

To read that post, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “How to Stop Eating at Night” – it’s in the September, 2009 section on the side panel. (I can't post live links here)

I also wrote "How Do I Overcome Emotional Eating?" and “Articles About Eating Disorders” – both in July, 2009. They might help as well.

I hope to see you there!

Laurie

Oct 4, 2009 8:44 PM

Guest :

I am 18 years old and have been an emotional eater for around 2 years now. It started when I became sick and was put on a very limited diet of nothing but nutritional supplement drinks and clear liquids in order to prepare for surgery. While in the hospital I became terribly depressed and had no one to talk to so i would constantly watch the food network and think about all the things i would be able to enjoy upon returning home.I would like to mention that I have not gained weight, but none the less am obsessed with food and the ritual of eating. I never feel hungry and am always the first one done eating when I am around other people, I don't even think about it, my body just starts working and before I know it all my food is gone before I have had time to enjoy it. I am often ridden with guilt and see myself as disgusting and sick. I throw up when it becomes too much. I don't know what to do.The fact that people can't see this makes it very hard to acknowledge that it's a problem

Oct 4, 2009 11:34 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with emotional eating – it’s especially difficult when it seems like people can’t see or won’t understand.

Please call a counselor, or ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist. Overcoming bulimia and eating disorders is really hard to do alone. You CAN overcome your obsession with food – but you need support and guidance.

You need to get to the root of your emotional eating. It sounds like you know where it came from – so maybe you just need to learn techniques to overcome it. A counselor or even a support group can help you with this.

Will you call a counselor, or a distress line?

Laurie

Oct 22, 2009 7:23 AM

Guest :

I am 17 years old and am not overweight, but have emotional eating.
I eat all the time and still don't feel satisfied.
I'm not overweight yet because I just started doing this a realizing a week ago, but I know I need to stop it. Just don't know how.

Oct 22, 2009 1:04 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

It can be difficult to stop emotional eating, but it’s definitely possible! The main thing is to learn the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger, and get comfortable expressing your emotions in ways other than by eating.

I’ve written two blog posts about how to stop emotional eating. To read them, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Articles About Emotional Eating” – you’ll also find it in the Oct, 2009 section on the side panel.

And, I suggest you talk to an adult about your compulsion to eat all the time. If you can’t talk to your parents, consider a different adult – perhaps a family member, teacher, guidance counselor, coach, pastor, or even a neighbor you trust.

It’s often easier to fight the compulsion to eat for emotional reasons when you have support from other people. Please find people who can help you in person – you’ll find it much easier than going at it alone!

I hope this helps a little.

Best wishes,
Laurie

26 Comments