Psychology

» redback - worth the effort?

In response to Mental illness and schizophrenia. posted by pink101:
There's a technique that sounds great in theory but can look contrived, when responding to any delusion or hallucination. It's in one of the books I referred to above ('I'm not sick...') by Dr Xavier Amador. Get to see one of his lectures if you get the chance. He was a guest keynote speaker here in 2005...highly effective speaker...very hard act to follow:
http://www.xavieramador.com/

Don't argue about their reality nor agree with their delusion. One common area of agreement is you don't want them back in hospital. Empathise with their frustrations, fears, discomfort, desires...but not that for example, the belief the CIA has implanted microchips. Maybe that's enough for empathy but if they really want you to talk about your belief (in the delusion) delay your opinion as long as you can...then try: "I would feel the same if I was in your shoes, but..."

I'm not sure I've come even close to mastering it but I do listen to people share their insecurities and topics of interest to them. "G'day, mate" to the homeless...and sincerity. Friends come with no pre-requisites. Eggshells and my wife were synonymous terms.

Who knows who truly understands the most in this. And by now, it's not pain for me...just impatience with status quo.

-- posted by redback

» redback - worth the effort?

In response to worth the effort? posted by redback:

I think making the effort with people with mental health problems is worth the effort. I think making the effort to help prevent the onset of problems in the first place, is worth the effort. But "we" need an attitudinal shift to make it happen.

IF only...I knew then what I know now. My late wife was taking anti-depressants rather than anti-psychotics. Her access to 8 shock treatments (ECT) without her husband being told..needing to know. Over the years 3 treating psychiatrists with one suiciding, one dying of cancer and one pre-occupied with his time in the Navy Reserve created "challenges" for trust and compliance.

All part of the learning experience her God didn't want to deprive me of. But Pink, this is now over a decade ago. Most of my efforts since then were in more objective fields of endeavour.

I don't know if Laurie has covered the concept of Transactional Analysis made famous by the book: 'I'm OK, You're OK'. But this was being introduced into counselling in the 70s. We transferred the 'group therapy group' to our home for a more natural, informal environment. A more relaxed, Saturday night out with this group and informed, caring friends. I was told I had destroyed the group "dynamic". Aaaahhh!!!

The heady days of socialising to a diminishing group of friends. My oldest friend (still) fondly recalls the time I was king-hit with a beaded handbag that richocheted off my head to dint his NEW car.

Sorry, Laurie...maybe this belongs in the article on humour triggers coz there were really fond memories that bring a smile to my face if not a downright ABC.

-- posted by redback

» pink101 - Tom Harris

In response to worth the effort? posted by redback:
,
I'm OK--You're Ok; by Tom Harris. A great book that makes psychoanalysis easy for dummies.
http://www.amazon.com/Im-OK-Youre-OK-Tho...
.
I attended twice a week meetings that fluctuated from 8 to 10 people in which we went through the book--all the way. During the period of time we met, one of the seldom attending members committed suicide--a young guy of maybe 28 years or so.
.

-- posted by pink101

» redback - Tom Harris

In response to Tom Harris posted by pink101:

'...we went through the book--all the way."

Well, that w/should have provided the right context. I was the only partner prepared to attend the group therapy to support my wife. It was a disparate group. My wife befriended a girl with anorexia nervosa who in turn befriended a fella trying to get off heroin. My wife aimed to 'save' both leading to some hairy moments. The group did not proceed beyond the point of trying to identify what ego state the person who had just spoken, was in. But not any sense of the context of the ego state nor how to tease it back to an 'adult to adult' ego state..

By necessity, cognitive behaviour therapies are adapted to suit a group therapy environment where the individuals are at various stages of their journeys. I'm not convinced these experiences did CBT any great service.

Talking of journeys, I recall my wife had Rolls Royce tastes on our Volkwagon income. She wanted a holiday in Florida when the reality was we could only afford the Florida Motel on our Central Coast. Don't get me wrong. That was probably a much better holiday altho we never actually made it on our 'planned' world trip to compare.

-- posted by redback

» pink101 - Parent, Adult, Child

In response to Tom Harris posted by redback:
.
T/A is--probably--the best tool I have known that helps us put our relationships in the context of what it means to be an adult. In fact, that IS the purpose of T/A that helps us understand the various personality states that were, first, presented by Freud as Super-Ego, Ego, and Id. Harris presents them as Parent, Adult, and Child and goes further to break each state down in three parts. Then, he shows how, when we relate with each other, we do so from and to one of these states. So, if "my parent" is relating with "your adult" some problems might result--and so on.
.

-- posted by pink101

» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Parent, Adult, Child

In response to Parent, Adult, Child posted by pink101:

I'm not familiar with Transactional Analysis -- I take it that's the foundation of I'm Ok, You're Ok ? The parent, adult, child thing makes sense. We switch roles, right? I know my husband and I do, as do my friends and I.
-
The adult role is the most confusing to me. I get it confused with parent.
-
Yikes about the suicides and trials of schizophrenia. My mom has it, but luckily it's not too bad. She can't hold down a job, but she can take okay care of herself.
-
Life can be hard sometimes, can't it? It's always so surreal when it's our bodies betraying us: cancer, schizophrenia, fibromyalgia -- there seems to be an endless list of ways our bodies and minds go wonky on us!

» pink101 - Adult To Adult

In response to Parent, Adult, Child posted by LauriePK:
.
The adult has within it, its own Parent, Adult, and Child in a certain sense.
So, we see three circles one on top of the other and in each circle we see three more circles one on top of the other.
.
If you line the graphics up--yours next to your husband's--and if he speaks to your about anything, then you can draw a line from that part of his side where you think he is speaking to the part of your side where you experience what he says. Generally, when you are discussing such things as business in a purely business like manner without and "feelings', they, you are transacting adult to adult.
.

-- posted by pink101

» redback - Parent, Adult, Child

In response to Parent, Adult, Child posted by LauriePK:
Adult vs parent? I think it may make more sense when we ponder the critical vs nurturing parent, insecure child etc. And if the true state has been identified and what transactions are OK etc.

A critical parent response may deliberately intend to bring out our insecure child unless we don't take the bait. A nurturing parent sounds OK but maybe not to the adult receiving it. I don't know so much of switching roles in fun. It's as Pink states...TA develops self insight. When we twig to how/why we respond, we'll develop better responses.

"Swith roles"? Playing adult games with an equal partnership clear to all...is probably simply having fun...within an adult to adult OR child to child sense. But the true intent may be covert.

What is intended here is adult to adult. I won't instruct you to read the book first before further comment from you but you may possibly like to check out ol' faithful Wikepedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transaction...

I'm a tad rusty on it this lifetime later, but have the global sense to get me by and read Pink. ABC

But within group therapy, unless care is exercised, tools such as TA held by keen, inexperienced 'facilitators' can become dangerous. We have conversations ie transactions. Group therapy, by default, is an artifical environment so any analysis within needs extra attention. Poor experiences in mental health treatments soon spread by word of mouth. In context, Pink...my comments derived from a time TA was in its infancy. Now, there is this thing here called accredited training on therapies which sets benchmarks.

-- posted by redback

» pink101 - Parent, Adult, Child

In response to Parent, Adult, Child posted by redback:
.
Transactional Analysis gave rise to an interest in "The Games People Play" which was also the name of a song.
.
Remember it? Here it is complete with the music:
.
http://easylistening.freeyellow.com/easy...
.

-- posted by pink101

» redback - Parent, Adult, Child

In response to Parent, Adult, Child posted by pink101:

Never meaning what they say etc. Yep...the song comes back to me. I ponder whether TA has simply enabled some to yank someone's chain more or was it an unintended consequence?

Thanks for the link.

-- posted by redback