Psychology

» littlelady3 - if it happens once will it happen again?

About a year ago my boyfriend punched me in the back of my shoulder. His father used to beat his mother. Does this mean it's going to happen again and does it mean I am in abusive relationship? we haven't been together since then and now we are trying to work things out. I don't see him ever doing it again and i don't think he is really the type. Am I one of those girls who makes up excuses for why their significant other beats them?

-- posted by littlelady3

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - if it happens once will it happen again?

In response to if it happens once will it happen again? posted by littlelady3:

That's a great question - what do mean by "trying to work things out"? Couples counseling is probably one of the best ways to ascertain whether he'll do it again. If he's reluctant to go, then that could be a red flag. If he goes and opens up to the counselor and you, then that's a green one!

I've heard people say that if a man hits you once, he'll do it again. I don't necessarily believe that's true - lots of factors come into play. On the other hand, it'd be awfully hard to trust a man who punches you in the back.

Your boyfriend definitely has problems with anger -- has he gotten help with his past? It's gotta be so traumatic to see your dad hit your mom. And, those behaviors are often passed on in families.

Counseling is the best option. Along with that, read books about abusive relationships.

And be prepared to leave the SECOND he lays a hand on you again - be firm and serious about that!

Finding a Therapist: http://psychological-counselling.suite10...

Recognizing Abuse: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.c...

Keep us posted -- what's his reaction to counseling?

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