Psychology

» jcredmond - Equipped for a life of sex?

In response to Equipped for a life of sex? posted by LauriePK:
I think this can be quite difficult. Back in the days when I was single, I had some friends who couldn't talk to the young men they were seeing about using condoms. I thought at the time, and still do, that if you can't discuss that, you shouldn't be intimate with that person.

When we ask for what we want in an intimate relationship we run the risk of hearing no or being told there is something bad, wrong, or shameful about our desires. Instead of saying "I want..." maybe a less scary approach would be to say "I've been wondering about (fill in blank here); what do you think?" If you hear ""I don't think so" then you haven't risked so much. You can always ask your partner what about the idea wasn't appealing and perhaps come up with a similar idea he or she is comfortable with.

-- posted by jcredmond

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Equipped for a life of sex?

In response to Equipped for a life of sex? posted by jcredmond:

Talking about condoms or positions is a sign of respect for your partner, and yourself. I like the idea of asking your partner, "what do you think of ______?" and discussing views.
Going back to what Leslie said about self-respect and teens, the more we as adults are comfortable with open communication, the more comfortable teens will be, too. Maybe that'll take the mystery and excitement and taboo out of sex, causing less promiscuity?

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» jcredmond - Equipped for a life of sex?

In response to Equipped for a life of sex? posted by LauriePK:
Maybe if teens were taught that sex is very grown up thing to do, it might help combat the problem of teens becoming sexually active at a young age.

To use the example of another grown-up thing, no teen thinks, "Wow, when I get to be an adult, I get to pay bills!" As long as we are not open and honest with our young people, they will continue to try to sample the forbidden fruit.

-- posted by jcredmond

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» pink101 - Communication

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Words aren't necessary to communication. In fact, verbal conversation can get in the way of our best relationships.
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High order feed back requires input from each participant in ANY activity. Off subject, in a dog fight between pilots of jet planes, a heat seeking missile cannot hit its target unless the target sends feedback to the sensors in the missle.
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Humans are far more complex beings.
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-- posted by pink101

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» pink101 - Communication

In response to Communication posted by pink101:
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In other words, isn't sex all about communication of the self to another?
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-- posted by pink101

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Communication

In response to Communication posted by pink101:

Yes, it is. The more levels of communication - physical, emotional, verbal, spiritual, intellectual - you share, the more intimate sex is.

Men seem to need different types of communication than women, which still astounds me. How can we be so different, and yet expected to have healthy, happy, lifelong relationships?

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» pink101 - Metacommunication

In response to Communication posted by LauriePK:
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Personally, I think we have fallen into a trap that tells us we have arrived at the ultimate level as far as possibilities are concerned.
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You've opened this subject to discussion. It's a taboo, for starters. So, what does that tell us? That we cannot hope to discuss it objectively. We are limited not only in what we say; but, in our ability to investigate the subject. What, to reach far out, do we understand about the sexuality of those Mormons who practice the "Principle", ie., polygamy. We cannot investigate that subject from a purely sociological stand point. Can we discuss the pros and cons of multiple partners in present day sexual behaviors? No. It's a taboo subject.
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In other words, the subject is and has been such that our knowledge is supressed. Don't misunderstand me, he sez, I'm not advocating anything here.
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Do you know the concept of metacommunication that is communication about communication?
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-- posted by pink101

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Metacommunication

In response to Metacommunication posted by pink101:

Why can't we discuss taboo subjects? I don't understand why we can't discuss the pros and cons of multiple partners; in fact, I'm sure I've read or heard that discussion already! Poligamy is actually quite beneficial to both the wives and the husband. I don't know if it's better or worse - just different than 2 partner marriages. Maybe it's because I lived in Africa for 3 years, where polygamy is common. I saw firsthand the pros, and I understand why people do it.
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Metacommuncation? New thread, please!

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» pink101 - We Catch Hell

In response to Metacommunication posted by LauriePK:
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It's difficult to discuss socially taboo subjects as we catch hell from most others.
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Personally, I have found that having communication with a variety of well chosen people inproves our ability to express ourselves with each other.
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I think we have to be careful to understand what kind of commitments we make under any conditions.
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Here's a question for you, "Why do people divorce to marry an extra-marital lover when they truly loved their original spouse?" It's a common occurance.
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-- posted by pink101

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» pink101 - Forbidden Knowledge

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Remember Prometheus who stole knowledge from the gods?
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The knowledge of sex is forbidden in our culture.
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I'm sure you've noticed.
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:)
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You want to spend the rest of eternity chained to a mountain while the eagles eat your liver?
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-- posted by pink101

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