Psychology

» Migisi - I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends

In response to I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends posted by katie75:

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he pulled my hair and strangled me during sex a few nights ago.
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You're still having sex with this guy? Is he forcing you, or are you a willing participant?

-- posted by Migisi

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» pink101 - I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends

In response to I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends posted by Migisi:
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What is regular police operating procedure in such a situation?
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She has gotten herself into a very precarious situation.
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-- posted by pink101

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» paper_turtle - I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends

In response to I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends posted by pink101:

There must be a battered women's shelter in your area. Go to them, ask them for help. They can find a place for you to stay and help you with whatever legal measures you need to take to protect yourself.

If you can't find the name of a battered women's shelter, talk to local clergy and the police.

He is slandering you with your friends in an attempt to isloate you and discredit you as a witness against him.

You know you need to leave. For the sake of your child please, please leave. Even if you have to sleep in your car this is better than staying with him.

peace and love,
Paper Turtle

-- posted by paper_turtle

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» pink101 - Proceed With Great Care

In response to I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends posted by paper_turtle:
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Proceed with great care as you extricate yourself from this situation.
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You are in bondage.
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Can we make any contacts to the authorities in your behalf? Can we contact an attorney to act in your behalf. Migisi, do you know any law offices that specialize in such cases?

-- posted by pink101

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» Migisi - Procedure

In response to I've also just learned that he is slandering me to his "friends posted by pink101:

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What is regular police operating procedure in such a situation?
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None required, unless she filed a complaint. Think how that would read...
"Complainant reports that her boyfriend, whom she's living with, assaulted her during consenual sex." Hmmm. I don't think it would fly.
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-- posted by Migisi

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» Migisi - Proceed With Great Care

In response to Proceed With Great Care posted by pink101:

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Migisi, do you know any law offices that specialize in such cases?
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She doesn't need an attorney. She needs a moving van. She needs to stop all the drama, call her mom, borrow some travel money, and go home. That's my advice.

-- posted by Migisi

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» pink101 - The Edit Feature

In response to Proceed With Great Care posted by Migisi:
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It just looks to me like she is caught in a trap and can't figure out how to get out without reprizals.
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Sometimes the police make decisions that aren't too good. Sometimes churches makes decisions that aren't too good. Sometimes a person needs an advocate.
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PS. The edit feature is working again.
1:22 E.S.T.

'Rechecked the Edit Feature at 1:34 E.S.T. and it still works over here.

-- posted by pink101

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» katie75 - proceed with great care

In response to The Edit Feature posted by pink101:
I went out with friends last night to play pool and got home around 11 pm. He was wide awake. He asked how my evening went and I told him I can't play very well, but I had fun. He said, "That's all that matters" then he went upstairs to sleep on the couch.

He came downstairs around 5 am and got into bed, pulled me in real close to him and proceeded to walk down memory lane: "Do you remember how we chased fire-flies in Florida? Did we ever catch one?" "Yes, you let it go in the car." "Oh, that's right." He carressed my face, my hair, and my back. He gently kissed my face. He held me so close at times that I thought he was going to break a rib.

When he put his hands in my hair I made a noise and he asked what was wrong. When I told him my head was sore from his pulling my hair the other night he acted like he didn't remember, then said, "I'm sorry, I won't do that again." He wanted to know how my friend (who is also having troubles with her boyfriend) was doing; he wanted to know how my job is going; he was very sweet, affectionate and attentive to me this morning.

He got up to get ready for work and brought me some tea and kissed me goodbye and wished me a "constructive" day. I feel like it's almost as if he's thinking "Wow, she might have someone else on the side, maybe I want her now..." All of the affection he's lavishing on me now is in the span of less than a week after everything he told his friends about me.

My friend says he's setting me up. He's telling all his friends what a horrible person I am, but at the same time he's treating me as if he loves me more than anything on the planet. My friend feels as if he might hurt me and will have the slanderous emails to 'prove' that I have been abusive and refused to leave his home. I'm so confused.

I have been working so much overtime at work (to save $$ to move out) that I have been unable to contact anyone for help, but next week I will take a day to call some programs here in town. I am also taking the advice of a friend and renting a storage unit this weekend to get my things out of his house in the event that he does get a restraining order against me; I can move out much more quickly that way. He doesn't have to know anything except that I'm cleaning house and getting rid of a few things.

-- posted by katie75

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» pink101 - proceed with great care

In response to proceed with great care posted by katie75:
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Looks liike you've got things under control.
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-- posted by pink101

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» paper_turtle - proceed with great care

In response to proceed with great care posted by katie75:

My friend says he's setting me up. He's telling all his friends what a horrible person I am, but at the same time he's treating me as if he loves me more than anything on the planet. My friend feels as if he might hurt me and will have the slanderous emails to 'prove' that I have been abusive and refused to leave his home. I'm so confused.

I agree with your friend.

And the "make-up" period is definitely a part of the abuse cycle.

Good luck to you, and DO be careful.

peace and love,
Paper Turtle

-- posted by paper_turtle

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