Psychology
- women regret tattoos
- the secret to dealing with stress
- discipline in the womb
- letter from an introvert
- it's healthy not to talk about it
- breakfast improves mental health
- she was born a flirt
- what Oprah says about failure
- the benefits of art therapy
- how hair reveals personality
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Are you a woman with a tattoo? Chances are good that you regret getting it, and want to have it removed.
Recent research from Texas Tech University reveals that women are more likely to regret getting tattoos than men. Why? For a variety of reasons: embarrassment, body image concerns, professional image concerns, social stigma, problems with clothes, and ties to the past.
Men with tattoos do report some of the same regrets, but these reasons to remove tattoos are more pronounced for women.
I've always wanted a tattoo -- say, a small dolphin on my ankle. That tattoo would be small and discreet enough that it probably wouldn't cause me the same body image problems or professional image concerns as a larger one on my bicep or calf. But, I never did get around to getting tattooed....and it's not one of my big life regrets.
To learn about the link between tattoos and antisocial personality disorder, read What Tattoos Say About Who You Are.
If you're a woman with a tattoo -- or a man with a tattoo -- feel free to comment! I'd love to hear your opinion on regretting getting a tattoo.
Men with tattoos do report some of the same regrets, but these reasons to remove tattoos are more pronounced for women.
I've always wanted a tattoo -- say, a small dolphin on my ankle. That tattoo would be small and discreet enough that it probably wouldn't cause me the same body image problems or professional image concerns as a larger one on my bicep or calf. But, I never did get around to getting tattooed....and it's not one of my big life regrets.
To learn about the link between tattoos and antisocial personality disorder, read What Tattoos Say About Who You Are.
If you're a woman with a tattoo -- or a man with a tattoo -- feel free to comment! I'd love to hear your opinion on regretting getting a tattoo.
the secret to dealing with stress
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
In talking to dozens of experts about stress, I've found the secret to dealing with stress. And it's not food or shopping.
I'm writing an article for Woman's Day online about coping with stress. More specifically, it's about changing how you react to the challenges of everyday life.
In talking to life coaches, psychologists, doctors and communications experts, I've learned the secret to dealing with stress! It's about taking control of your situation. Are you overwhelmed at work? Take control by facing your stressor head-on. How you do this depends on your situation, of course.
Are you stressed in your relationship? Deal with it. The longer you stay paralyzed by indecision, fear, or resentment, the more control stress has over you. Instead -- and this is still stressful -- get counseling, leave once and for all, or give your partner the choice to "shape up or ship out."
The secret to dealing with stress really is about taking control of your situation. It's a simple solution in theory, but much more difficult in practice. I know. But it'll be worth it when you do finally take the deer by the horns. (??? what do you take by the horns, anyway?)
In talking to life coaches, psychologists, doctors and communications experts, I've learned the secret to dealing with stress! It's about taking control of your situation. Are you overwhelmed at work? Take control by facing your stressor head-on. How you do this depends on your situation, of course.
Are you stressed in your relationship? Deal with it. The longer you stay paralyzed by indecision, fear, or resentment, the more control stress has over you. Instead -- and this is still stressful -- get counseling, leave once and for all, or give your partner the choice to "shape up or ship out."
The secret to dealing with stress really is about taking control of your situation. It's a simple solution in theory, but much more difficult in practice. I know. But it'll be worth it when you do finally take the deer by the horns. (??? what do you take by the horns, anyway?)
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
A couple of psychologists are debating whether pregnant mothers and expectant fathers can discipline their unborn babies.
Dr Grace Kelly of the Northern Caribbean University says that discipline begins long before the birth of the child, with the parents.
She says parents should realize that discipline is critical to the pre-natal and early development of the children, and can impact children in a positive or negative way. She advises parents to discipline the unborn child by reading, talking, and playing appropriate music during pregnancy.
On the other hand, Dr Garth Lipps of the University of the West Indies says no child can be disciplined in the womb. He does say that there is some evidence that personality is genetically based, and can be transmitted from mother to the child.
Marleen McCalla, who works at the Early Stimulation Plus Basic School, also believes that discipline starts in the womb. She says that the unborn child recognises the voice of his/her parents. "Even though the unborn child cannot talk, it can hear the parents, so discipline is very essential at this stage," says McCalla.
If you can indeed discipline your child in the womb, then it's never to early to teaching them to mind their P’s and Q’s!
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She says parents should realize that discipline is critical to the pre-natal and early development of the children, and can impact children in a positive or negative way. She advises parents to discipline the unborn child by reading, talking, and playing appropriate music during pregnancy.
On the other hand, Dr Garth Lipps of the University of the West Indies says no child can be disciplined in the womb. He does say that there is some evidence that personality is genetically based, and can be transmitted from mother to the child.
Marleen McCalla, who works at the Early Stimulation Plus Basic School, also believes that discipline starts in the womb. She says that the unborn child recognises the voice of his/her parents. "Even though the unborn child cannot talk, it can hear the parents, so discipline is very essential at this stage," says McCalla.
If you can indeed discipline your child in the womb, then it's never to early to teaching them to mind their P’s and Q’s!
Related Articles:
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
This is a great letter from a reader, who describes his introverted personality traits and how people react to him. They want him to change, which is just plain wrong.
Dear Laurie,
Every one of those articles written on introverted people describe me perfectly. I already knew I was introverted but it just confirms the fact.
It seems most people are extroverts and outgoing and that’s just not me no matter how many times I try to be. I was told that using being introverted is an excuse for not being outgoing but I am what I am. Sometimes, people think something is wrong with me because I am not as outgoing as they are and they don't understand it. They usually feel like I need to change who I am in order to fit in and that doesn’t work.
For instance, I don’t always immediately return phone calls or answer the phone period when people call. If I call them back, it's usually on my time when I'm not writing my books (probably another introverted activity). People have been upset with me because I don’t like talking on the phone all the time. It's hard to get extroverts to understand me and it is frustrating at times!
This has affected my dating life. I am a male and most women don’t make the first move. If people talk to me, then I can talk a lot but I don’t usually initiate conversations and it feels uncomfortable to do so. Again, I've tried practicing it but it's not working how I thought it would!
I'm 27 and I still have yet to find a way to cope with my introverted personality. Some guy told me you can unlearn being introverted but I don’t see it...or feel it! I just wanted to get your opinion on this and I'd appreciate your time!
Sincerely,
Mr. Introverted
To Mr Introverted & all the introverts out there, read How to Accept Your Introverted Personality Traits & live happily ever after!
Every one of those articles written on introverted people describe me perfectly. I already knew I was introverted but it just confirms the fact.
It seems most people are extroverts and outgoing and that’s just not me no matter how many times I try to be. I was told that using being introverted is an excuse for not being outgoing but I am what I am. Sometimes, people think something is wrong with me because I am not as outgoing as they are and they don't understand it. They usually feel like I need to change who I am in order to fit in and that doesn’t work.
For instance, I don’t always immediately return phone calls or answer the phone period when people call. If I call them back, it's usually on my time when I'm not writing my books (probably another introverted activity). People have been upset with me because I don’t like talking on the phone all the time. It's hard to get extroverts to understand me and it is frustrating at times!
This has affected my dating life. I am a male and most women don’t make the first move. If people talk to me, then I can talk a lot but I don’t usually initiate conversations and it feels uncomfortable to do so. Again, I've tried practicing it but it's not working how I thought it would!
I'm 27 and I still have yet to find a way to cope with my introverted personality. Some guy told me you can unlearn being introverted but I don’t see it...or feel it! I just wanted to get your opinion on this and I'd appreciate your time!
Sincerely,
Mr. Introverted
To Mr Introverted & all the introverts out there, read How to Accept Your Introverted Personality Traits & live happily ever after!
it's healthy not to talk about it
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
New research from the University at Buffalo shows that you don't have to talk about it to stay emotionally healthy.
Psychologist Mark Seery researched the effects of talking about a traumatic event versus not talking about it, and found that not talking about feelings can actually be healthy.
He compared the mental and physical health symptoms of "talkers" versus "non-talkers", and found that the non-talkers were actually healthier than the talkers. This was a surprising finding, since the general consensus is that we should talk about our feelings, especially after a traumatic event.
"This perfectly exemplifies the assumption in popular culture, and even in clinical practice, that people need to talk in order to overcome a collective trauma," Seery says. "Instead, we should be telling people there is likely nothing wrong if they do not want to express their thoughts and feelings after experiencing a collective trauma. In fact, they can cope quite successfully and, according to our results, are likely to be better off than someone who does want to express his or her feelings."
Psychology Articles About Healthy Communication:
Source: "It's Okay to Keep Those Feelings Inside." University at Buffalo News Centre (Press Release). June 1, 2008.
He compared the mental and physical health symptoms of "talkers" versus "non-talkers", and found that the non-talkers were actually healthier than the talkers. This was a surprising finding, since the general consensus is that we should talk about our feelings, especially after a traumatic event.
"This perfectly exemplifies the assumption in popular culture, and even in clinical practice, that people need to talk in order to overcome a collective trauma," Seery says. "Instead, we should be telling people there is likely nothing wrong if they do not want to express their thoughts and feelings after experiencing a collective trauma. In fact, they can cope quite successfully and, according to our results, are likely to be better off than someone who does want to express his or her feelings."
Psychology Articles About Healthy Communication:
Source: "It's Okay to Keep Those Feelings Inside." University at Buffalo News Centre (Press Release). June 1, 2008.
breakfast improves mental health
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Dieticians have recently found that breakfast improves mental health. Combine this with different scents every morning, and you'll build a better brain in no time!
You may know that eating breakfast helps you lose weight (you're theoretically less hungry during the day if you eat breakfast, leading you to eat less all day) -- but did you know that breakfast can improve your mental health?
The Dieticians Association of Australia report that a high quality breakfast, with foods from at least three food groups, is linked with better mental health in teens. If it works for kids, it can be beneficial for adults too!
I've also read that sniffing different scents every morning improves cognitive functioning. So, eating different breakfasts from different food groups may make you smarter, happier, and more pleasant to be around. To kickstart your brain, try blue cheese on toast with a banana on the side, or the more traditional granola, blueberries, and yoghurt.
The key is variety - just like the spice of life.
For more psychology articles about brain health, read:
The Dieticians Association of Australia report that a high quality breakfast, with foods from at least three food groups, is linked with better mental health in teens. If it works for kids, it can be beneficial for adults too!
I've also read that sniffing different scents every morning improves cognitive functioning. So, eating different breakfasts from different food groups may make you smarter, happier, and more pleasant to be around. To kickstart your brain, try blue cheese on toast with a banana on the side, or the more traditional granola, blueberries, and yoghurt.
The key is variety - just like the spice of life.
For more psychology articles about brain health, read:
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Some people are born to flirt, & others learn it. Research shows that flirting follows a natural pattern that most of us follow in heterosexual relationships.
Have you ever met a natural flirt? He winks at waitresses, grins at colleagues, and makes long, steady eye contact with potential partners. Or, she has a natural way of relaxing people, touching them on the arm or shoulder, and encouraging strangers to talk to her.
Researchers have discovered the 5 Stages of Flirting, which range from eye contact (usually initiated by the woman) to body synchronization. Most of these behaviors are natural -- not learned -- but once you know them, you're more likely to engage in them.
If you're a natural flirt but sometimes wonder if others are flirting with you, you may want to know the Signs of Flirting.
And during the whole flirting game, you may wonder Why We Fall in Love.
Happy flirting!
Researchers have discovered the 5 Stages of Flirting, which range from eye contact (usually initiated by the woman) to body synchronization. Most of these behaviors are natural -- not learned -- but once you know them, you're more likely to engage in them.
If you're a natural flirt but sometimes wonder if others are flirting with you, you may want to know the Signs of Flirting.
And during the whole flirting game, you may wonder Why We Fall in Love.
Happy flirting!
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Failure - and rejection, which often feels like failure - is one of the hardest obstacles to overcome. Here's what Oprah says about failure, & a few helpful articles.
Me, I'm not worried about failure as much as rejection. Failure, I can attribute to not trying hard enough, or going too fast, or being too impulsive.
But rejection cuts a little deeper.
Here's what Oprah has to say about failure. If you're like me and find that rejection stings more than failure, try substituting the word "rejection" instead of the word "failure" in the following inspirational quotation from Oprah.
“Most of us are certainly uncomfortable with, if not terrified of, failure. We think it defines us. It does not,” says Oprah Winfrey. “Like every other experience, failure is defined by our reaction to it. Failures can be God’s little whispers; other times, they are full earthquakes erupting in our lives because we didn’t listen to the whispers.”
Does that help? If not, here's some articles about goals, failure, & rejection:
Oprah also says, “Failure is just a way for our lives to show us that we’re moving in the wrong direction, that we should try something different. It holds no more power than we give it.”
That's true with most things in life: they hold no more power than you give it.
That's not only cool, it's empowering.
"Ever tried, ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett
But rejection cuts a little deeper.
Here's what Oprah has to say about failure. If you're like me and find that rejection stings more than failure, try substituting the word "rejection" instead of the word "failure" in the following inspirational quotation from Oprah.
“Most of us are certainly uncomfortable with, if not terrified of, failure. We think it defines us. It does not,” says Oprah Winfrey. “Like every other experience, failure is defined by our reaction to it. Failures can be God’s little whispers; other times, they are full earthquakes erupting in our lives because we didn’t listen to the whispers.”
Does that help? If not, here's some articles about goals, failure, & rejection:
Oprah also says, “Failure is just a way for our lives to show us that we’re moving in the wrong direction, that we should try something different. It holds no more power than we give it.”
That's true with most things in life: they hold no more power than you give it.
That's not only cool, it's empowering.
"Ever tried, ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Art therapy, such as painting, arranging photographs, sculpting, or drawing can ease psychological distress and chronic pain.
If you're struggling with grief, chronic pain, or major life changes, consider art therapy. Admittedly, I've never tried it myself -- but I would! There's something really cool about creating a picture, photo, or clay sculpture out of raw materials...especially if you can dip into your soul and let your personality peek out.
"Words may not be enough to express the physical and psychological distress of people suffering from chronic pain. People often feel safer containing these 'unspeakable' feelings within artwork," says Heather Cameron, an art therapist in Vancouver, BC.
Making art strengthens your sense of self and contributes to feelings of normalcy. Plus it’s relaxing. Creativity increases serotonin levels and reduces stress; it also improves blood pressure and heart rate.
If you're dealing with a recent disease, art therapy can help create a new "post-illness identity." You can explore how angry, frustrated, and sad you are -- and explore the ways your life has changed. Making art is effective either individually or in groups; Cameron finds groups especially beneficial because they offer social support and peer understanding.
"Words may not be enough to express the physical and psychological distress of people suffering from chronic pain. People often feel safer containing these 'unspeakable' feelings within artwork," says Heather Cameron, an art therapist in Vancouver, BC.
Making art strengthens your sense of self and contributes to feelings of normalcy. Plus it’s relaxing. Creativity increases serotonin levels and reduces stress; it also improves blood pressure and heart rate.
If you're dealing with a recent disease, art therapy can help create a new "post-illness identity." You can explore how angry, frustrated, and sad you are -- and explore the ways your life has changed. Making art is effective either individually or in groups; Cameron finds groups especially beneficial because they offer social support and peer understanding.
Posted by
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
A man's hair says alot about his personality traits, if he fits into the profile. But what about this guy?
He lives in my community, he rides a Harley, he wears leather chaps and a leather jacket, and he wears huge mirror sunglasses mostly on top of his head.
What kind of hair do you think he has? Does he have a shaved head, or a mohawk?
Neither. He has long, golden tresses. He has GORGEOUS hair -- it's thick and curly, and hangs almost all the way to his backside. He has hair that a hair model would envy. He could be in commercials, tossing his head and telling us how much he loves Pantene.
What does his hair say about his personality? He's definitely not a conformist, and he likes to stand out. He likes the feel of long hair, and he must not mind it blowing in the wind. He keeps it clean and shiny and healthy looking. I wonder if he blow dries it?
Did I mention he carries a knife in his belt? A big bowie knife or something. That's so people don't laugh at his hair.
Anyway, to learn about what a man's hairstyle says about his personality, try How Men's Hair Reveals Personality. To learn about reading body language through women's hair, read What Your Hairstyle Says About You.
These are general theories from a great book called Reading People; they may not hold true for every individual, everywhere.
What kind of hair do you think he has? Does he have a shaved head, or a mohawk?
Neither. He has long, golden tresses. He has GORGEOUS hair -- it's thick and curly, and hangs almost all the way to his backside. He has hair that a hair model would envy. He could be in commercials, tossing his head and telling us how much he loves Pantene.
What does his hair say about his personality? He's definitely not a conformist, and he likes to stand out. He likes the feel of long hair, and he must not mind it blowing in the wind. He keeps it clean and shiny and healthy looking. I wonder if he blow dries it?
Did I mention he carries a knife in his belt? A big bowie knife or something. That's so people don't laugh at his hair.
Anyway, to learn about what a man's hairstyle says about his personality, try How Men's Hair Reveals Personality. To learn about reading body language through women's hair, read What Your Hairstyle Says About You.
These are general theories from a great book called Reading People; they may not hold true for every individual, everywhere.
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