Your wedding can be the highlight of your summer or your marriage. For me, it was a little agonizing.
I saw a gorgeous bride getting her photos done outside our Bowen Island library the other day. She looked happy and excited (and a little cold - it was a cloudy, windy, drizzly June day). Then last night Father of the Bride was on tv -- and that wedding was elaborate and expensive. Some brides are so happy on their wedding day! They plan for years, pick out their dress before they meet The One, and spare no expense.
Not me: I hated my wedding day.
If you were there, you'd be shocked to read this -- but it's true! Everything went exactly as planned (except my maid of honour forgot her bouquet when she preceded me down the aisle....I would've forgotten this long ago, but she keeps apologizing for it). Nothing went wrong the day I got married.......except for the hurricane in Cancun canceled our honeymoon there, but that's neither here nor there.
I don't like being the centre of attention. I don't like wearing dresses. I don't like spending money. I have a teeny tiny family, and nobody came. I don't like making small talk, or "working the room." I don't like cutting cake or kissing in front of people or having my picture taken or hugging people I barely know.
You see what I mean? Admittedly, saying "I hated my wedding day" is harsh and I think my husband would be surprised to read this even though I've already expressed it to him -- and it's not entirely true. I don't hate my wedding day like I hate rapists and terrorists and people who hurt kids.....I just found it uncomfortable and long -- and I was SO happy when it was over! It was almost 2 years ago, and I still sigh with relief that it's behind me.
I love being married, though! It's fun and interesting and my hubby is so willing to bend over backwards to make me happy (the mark of any good spouse). I dislike nothing about marriage - except maybe for feeling guilty that when I get grumpy or preoccupied. And feeling like I should be out in the yard, gardening or painting or weed wacking more (instead of glued to my laptop writing). But those aren't marriage problems, they're me problems.
If you're getting married, don't forget that the wedding is only a teeny moment in time (even though it can cost more than your car). The marriage is the thing -- respecting that is the healthiest way to say I love you -- and it's the best place to focus your energy, time, and money. Premarital counseling, honest discussions, and being REAL are the best ways to start a marriage.
A wedding is just the first step towards marriage. The marriage is the real journey.
