Finding Love on the Internet
What You Need to Know Before Dating Online
Internet dating sites can be highly successful and even fun, but be careful when you're dating online. Consider these factors before you look for love on the internet
Think you can't find love on the internet, or that you'll get conned? Think again. One of my friends married her husband within three months of meeting through an online dating service. They were both unhappily single so they tried a Christian internet dating site - and now they've been happily married for five years. Now, after three years of marriage and one son, they wouldn't change a thing about finding love on the internet.
Internet dating is so popular that a single friend once asked me, "Well, how else am I going to meet someone?" Indeed, finding love on the internet often seems to be the only option for singles dating.
Internet dating sites are becoming the rule, not the exception. More and more people are building successful relationships after finding love on the internet - and they aren't afraid to share their experiences with internet dating.
What you should know before finding love on the internet:
Researchers at the University of Bath discovered some internet dating facts:
- 94% of couples who met online keep seeing each another, but only if they spent a significant amount of time getting to know one another online before meeting the first time. Before you find love online, you should spend time really getting to know someone. Internet dating takes time.
- Internet dating relationships lasted an average of seven months.
- Men are more committed to online relationships and more dependent on their "e-partner" than women, possibly because it's easier for them to honestly share opinions and emotions in writing (women, more relational than men, may bond better in person). IFinding love on the internet dating is different for men and women.
- Couples rarely use webcams because they prefer the anonymity of writing and e-mailing when internet dating. Not all online dating services encourage webcams.
These researchers found that online relationships last as long as traditional relationships, which means you have a good chance of finding love on the internet.
Finding Love on the Internet: Before You Try Internet Dating Sites
You have a better chance of finding love on the internet if you follow these tips. Successful, committed online relationships through internet dating sites involved:
- Phone conversations before the initial meeting
- Gift exchanges before meeting
- Consistent online chatting
- No exchanges of money before the initial meeting
Internet dating is just another way to meet people – and if you're careful, it's not any more dangerous than the more traditional methods (although meeting other singles in a bar after downing a few drinks isn't necessarily a "safe" way to meet).
If you're interested in finding love online or trying an online dating service, remember to:
- Trust your gut. If something doesn't sit right, then something's wrong - whether you're internet dating or not. Finding love on the internet isn't about ignoring your feelings.
- Be honest about who you are. Share your authentic self: dreams, goals, successes, failures. Finding love on the internet is about being real.
- Believe what they tell you. If they say they aren't ready for a relationship or are on probation for assault, then they aren't ready for a relationship and they've assaulted someone. Be careful! Internet dating sites may not screen as carefully as you'd like.
- Proceed with caution when you're finding love on the internet. A potential partner may or may not be the "one" – wait until you meet in person before you declare your undying love (even if it's just to yourself).
- Know yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want out of life, and find someone with the same goals. Finding love on the internet is easier when you're honest.
Factors to consider when you're trying an internet dating site:
- Your age and maturity level (usually, the higher the better in both cases). Are you really ready for a new relationship?
- Their age and maturity level. Are you well-matched this way? Finding love on the internet should lead you to a compatible person.
- Motivation for pursuing online dating - yours and theirs. Are you running from your past or do you have a fear of intimacy? Finding love online involves facing uncomfortable truths.
- Past history - yours and theirs. Internet dating relationships do allow for more secrets.
- Current goals - yours and theirs. Dating online should reveal what you really want out of life.
Also consider if your Big Five Personality Traits compatible with theirs. The more similar you are, the better you'll fit together.
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