How Sleeplessness Leads to Poor Marriages
3 Steps to a Good Night’s Rest and a Better Relationship
Jun 17, 2009
Getting a good night’s rest isn’t just good for a couple's health, it’s good for their marriage or common-law relationship. Researchers have uncovered a link between lack of sleep and poor marriages; employing methods to improve sleep can increase marital satisfaction.
The Link Between Sleep and Poor Marriages
Research from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine reveals that the quality of a couples’ marriage or relationship affects sleep. In turn, sleep quality affects relationships and can trigger a downward spiral into a poor marriage.
“When we look at the data on a day-by-day basis, there seems to be a vicious cycle in which sleep affects next day relationship functioning, and relationship functioning affects the subsequent night’s sleep,” said principal investigator Brant Hasler, clinical psychology doctoral candidate at the University of Arizona. “In this cycle, conflict with one’s partner during the day leads to worse sleep that night, which leads to more conflict the following day.”
Women who argue or have negative interactions with their husbands or common-law partners during the day get a poor night’s sleep. This lack of sleep leads to more marital arguments, which triggers more poor sleep.
On the bright side, husbands who get a good night’s sleep are more likely to give a positive report of their relationship or marriage. One way to improve marriages or common-law relationships is to reduce sleepless nights and improve sleeping patterns.
Three Ways to Get a Good Night's Rest (and a Better Relationship)
The following methods will improve couples' relationships through better sleeping habits.
- Resolve differences before going to bed. Couples needn’t settle every dispute or argument before sleeping, but should agree to continue the conversation at another time. Couples will get a better night’s sleep if they wrap up the day with on a positive, connected note – and a commitment to resolve the issue at a specific time and date.
- Write down the issues. To avoid ruminating instead of struggling with insomnia, write down the main points of the argument to be covered at a later time. Then, do something distracting for half an hour (read books, watch movies, get intimate, etc). When tempers and emotions are calm, get ready for bed. This helps couples temporarily “let go” of concerns and get a better night’s sleep.
- Try aromatherapy for better sleep. Some scents not only improve sleep, they improve marriages or common-law relationships by reducing anxiety, stress, tension, sleeplessness, and headaches! Lavender, chamomile, and jasmine oils are common aromatherapy “treatments” to improve sleep; they can be lightly dabbed on the pillowcase or over pressure points, such as the wrist and neck.
Improving your sleep patterns can improve a poor marriage – and prevent a good relationship from going bad!
Related Reading
To learn the effect of children on some marriages or common-law relationships, read How Children Affect Marital Happiness.
For more information on marriage and intimate relationships, go to the Top 10 Articles on Marital Happiness.
Sources:
- American Academy of Sleep Medicine (June 6, 2009). “Poor Sleep is Associated With Lower Relationship Satisfaction in Both Women and Men.”
- Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals (February 27, 2009). “Better Sleep Tips From Specialists.”
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