Tips For Improving Self-Confidence

How the Traits of Confident People Boost Your Self-Esteem

© Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Jan 25, 2007

Improving your self-confidence will strengthen your relationships and increase your success at work and home. A healthy dose of self-confidence can make you feel positive about your life. Plus, boosting your self-esteem and improving self-confidence will make you more attractive and fun to be around.

The Confidence to be Yourself: How to Boost Your Self-Esteem by Dr. Brian Roet contains a complete list of traits of self-confident people. These aren't just traits of self-confident people; they're actually ways to build confidence and boost self-esteem.

5 Tips For Improving Your Self-Confidence:

1. Notice when you feel confident, and when you don't. Who are you with, what are you doing, and what can you change? Boosting self-esteem and improving self-confidence involves being self-aware.
2. Figure out if you're a 'why' or a 'why not' person. Why not accept yourself for who you are? Why not go to the party alone? Boosting self-esteem and improving self-confidence is about acceptance and challenge!
3. Replace 'What will people think if I do that?' with 'People think about themselves.' Boosting self-esteem and improving self-confidence is being aware that people aren't thinking of you nearly as often as they're thinking about themselves.
4. Share your failures and weaknesses with people. They'll likely be supportive, positive – and they'll even like you more. Boosting self-esteem and improving your self-confidence is about being real.
5. Listen to what you tell yourself. Do you call yourself stupid, fat, ugly, or foolish? Boosting self-esteem and improving self-confidence involves treating yourself kindly – because if you don't, who will?

Dr Roet's Traits of Self-Confident People:

Taking on these traits of confident people will boost your self-esteem automatically. It's the classic "act as if you're confident and you'll feel more self-confident" scenario.

1. Self-confident people believe in themselves and what they do. Self-confident people believe that they are in control of their life (boosting self-esteem is trusting yourself).
2. Self-confident people accept responsibility for their actions. You can boost your self-esteem by taking ownership of your life.
3. Self-confident people are balanced in their attitude and outlook. Improving self-confidence involves a balanced perspective of both yourself and others.
4. Self-confident people have flexibility towards people and situations they encounter. Boosting self-esteem is not about being rigid.
5. Self-confident people have positive self-talk that is supporting, and caring. Improve self-confidence by being kind to yourself.
6. Self-confident people aren't governed by 'shoulds, musts, and ought tos'. Improving self-confidence involves impulsivity and flow.
7. Self-confident people learn from mistakes and see these experiences as helpful. Boosting self-esteem is about applying what you've learned to new situations.
8. Self-confident people are able to evaluate themselves realistically.
9. Self-confident people can be assertive without being aggressive. Self-confident people don't trample on the feelings of others.
10. Self-confident people speak calmly at a suitable rate. Improving self-confidence involves moderation.
11. Self-confident people are 'straight' with their opinions and discussions. Boost self-esteem by being honest.
12. Self-confident people have nothing to hide about their personal beliefs. Improving self-confidence is about being open.
13. Self-confident people have body language that conveys the self-confidence that they feel. Build your confidence by walking tall.
14. Self-confident people don't need to be critical and judgmental to boost their ego. Improving self-confidence involves being supportive.
15. Self-confident people are good listeners and not overly concerned about what others think of them. Improving self-confidence is about being authentic.
16. Self-confident people accept themselves for who they are. Boost self-esteem by not beating yourself up.
17. Self-confident people say 'why not?' when offered an opportunity – not 'why?'
18. Self-confident people see life as a series of challenges. Self-confident people aren't defeated by setbacks.
19. Self-confident people, if asked what animal they represent, say a powerful one like a horse or lion. Boost self-esteem by imagining yourself as a powerful force.
20. Self-confident people accept change as a normal part of life. Improving ing self-confidence involves rolling with the punches.
21. Self-confident people make eye contact when speaking or listening to other people.
22. Self-confident people call dealing with people 'negotiation', not arguing or fighting. Boosting self-esteem requires labeling life differently.
23. Self-confident people believe they have the ability to influence situations.

Can you see how the above traits of self-confident people also boost your self-esteem? Pick a few traits, practice being self-confident, and your self-esteem will rise.

Dr Brian Roet's The Confidence to be Yourself: How to Boost Your Self-Esteem includes his experiences as a therapist and the activities he suggested to his clients for improving self-confidence. Just the stories he shared were themselves helpful, because many of them were "before and after" scenarios about boosting self-esteem. The Confidence to be Yourself: How to Boost Your Self-Esteem is a worthwhile read.

If you found Tips for Improving Self-Confidence: How the Traits of Confident People Boost Your Self-Esteem helpful, you might enjoy:

• Empowering Yourself for Success
• Self-Confidence for Women
• Improving Work Relationships
• The Big Five Personality Traits

Print Article

View All Articles

How to subscribe to feeds