How Energy Vampires Drain Your Spirit: 11 Ways to Protect Yourself From Negative Influences

Energy vampires drain your spirit by depleting your positive energy, just like real vampires slurp blood. Energy vampires - such as drama queens - leave you feeling drained and listless, but these eleven ways to protect yourself from negative influences will help!

After a visit with an energy vampire, you barely have enough energy to watch tv - much pursue your goals or take care of your responsibilities. The energy vampire's negative influences have consumed your positive energy.

How Energy Vampires Drain Your Spirit

How Energy Vampires Drain Energy & Why You Feel Depressed After a Conversation

You know you've spent time with an energy vampire when you leave feeling depressed, exhausted, or sad. Energy vampires drain your positive energy for their own use. Energy vampires leave you feeling empty and sluggish – and to compensate or build positive energy you may eat, drink, shop, or sleep for hours afterwards.

Energy Vampires Need Your Positive Energy

Energy vampires come in all shapes and sizes: loud and aggressive, soft-spoken and shy, charming and seductive, pushy and overbearing. Energy vampires have energy leaks that they need to fill. It's up to you to stop energy vampires from draining your positive energy. Often energy vampires don't even realize they're bleeding you dry. Energy vampires have often suffered some sort of crisis, whether in childhood or adulthood, and they're compensating to get rid of their negative energy. Energy vampires may not be deliberately, maliciously stealing your positive energy -- but they're definitely not contributing to a fantastic relationship.

11 Ways to Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires:

If you found How Energy Vampires Drain Your Spirit: 11 Ways to Protect Yourself From Negative Influences interesting, try:

Jun 2, 2008 11:28 AM

Mary Rayme :

As a clerk in a shop I have a few regular energy vampires. This article is extremely helpful and articulates what I've been trying to put into words. Thank you!

Aug 18, 2008 11:28 AM

Guest :

What do you do if you are married to an energy vampire and they won't let you do the eleven steps or its hell to pay. What if my career is intertwined with hers?

Aug 24, 2008 10:07 AM

Guest :

What if YOU have some of those energy vampire characteristics? Venting may be my problem: could you speak to how to handle...not a broken fingernail, but...workforce reduction at work, wondering why a friend doesn't reciprocate invitations, phone calls...

I get the energy vampire idea, yet how do you sense when your concerns are too much to share with another person? We all have 'an owie' like a job interview went badly, a hit and run driver in the parking lot--what about inviting folks to do something but it never materializes? Are they not friends, then?

Aug 25, 2008 1:01 PM

Guest :

How do you know your not an energy vampire?

Sep 27, 2008 12:11 PM

Guest :

This article was great! I have been sucked back into a friendship with an energy vampire since I was 15. Everytime I cut it off with her, I feel a little guilty. Also, it's like childbirth, after a little while you forget how painful it really was! haha. I know that it is time to move on, and no matter what I do I cannot help her. I will probably feel a little bad since I will see her at school functions, but I need to do this for myself and family.

Sep 28, 2008 8:43 PM

Guest :

What if your spouse is an energy vampire?

Nov 9, 2008 8:31 AM

Guest :

Brilliant article! I have a neighbor who constantly phones asking for assistance with the slightest problem. No matter what you say or how busy you are that phone will ring! It's amazing how she can selectively ignore "I'm very busy right now" or I'm too ill to help you right now". A very accurate list indeed!

Nov 11, 2008 11:34 AM

Guest :

I have an unemployed, angry, bi-polar, ex drug dealer who is addicted to internet conspiracy theory websites and believes global warming and evolution are unproven theories.

He constantly turns all conversations into rants about whatever conspiracy theory can explain TO ME (as if I constantly need explaination) whatever topic I bring up. I could say the sky is blue, he would correct me on the color of the sky then say the sky is blue because there were fewer chemtrails today. Then he would rant on whatever political thing happened today.

I mentioned being glad Obama won and that I finally have a president who looks like me....the discussion in a matter of a minute escelated with him trying to constantly interrupt me before I could say anything to him screaming at me that I am the biggest racist he has ever met. I walked away and said good night; he said good riddance, then wasn't satisfied until he had to send me links to websites that backed up his conspiracy behind obama winning.

I have learned not to say much to him and stay out of the house completely if I don't have to be there. I have spent time at the park reading and meditating; I have felt much MUCH better.

Nov 11, 2008 11:35 AM

Guest :

Nov 12, 2008 5:05 AM

Guest :

This is good, but don't forget about the meaning of the word vampire in this context.
You have been bitten, and thus now have some of the vampire in you,
thus often it's not so easy to just walk away !!
Vampires do feed off you and the truth is they are very needy and dependent.
For some of us, it is our compassion that lets them in, in the first place, often unawares.
It is also our compassion that makes it hard for us to let them go.
Traditional vampire : "remedies" often include a wound to the heart,
and that is what leaving them will do, metaphorically.
And therin lies the dilemma for me, and I am betting for many others..
Bottom line is....Dealing with energy vampires is not for the faint of heart ! By nature we are stronger than them, but as we are bitten they do weaken us.
For me the trick is to do what I need to do to stay stronger and try to get the needy one to find the good that exists in themselves.
Wish I had an easy answer, but i do not.
Sometimes, it does make me wonder if there really is a God !

Nov 19, 2008 6:29 AM

Guest :

Would you consider my spouse an energy vampire? He pouts when he doesn't get what he wants from me. He has health issues but really doesn't try to fix them. Sits around on his off days playing on the computer. Really doesn't seem interested in doing anything with the family (our kids and myself) unless it's something he has planned. More on MY feelings..... I feel tired when he's around. When he's at home and I'm away, the closer I get to home, the more tired I feel. Dreading being there even. The house seems so much more happy when he's not at home sitting in his chair. There's more, but that's the general idea. What do you think?
Thanks!

Dec 1, 2008 9:57 AM

Guest :

This is a new concept to me, but very fasinating. I'm wondering if some energy vampires get energy by manipulating doctors for the purpose of attention and obtaining RX pain drugs, as in facticious disorders? I know someone who is constantly complaining about her health, but the medical field can't find a thing wrong with her, but still she persists. She manipulates her family, her husband, her friends, etc to do whatever she wants. I feel drained every time I'm around her, her children have behavioral problems and are extremely neglected and her husband is in denial. The topic is always about her, her problems, her family, her health, her everything. And her anything is always better than anyone elses. She is a master manipulator. Could this be an energy vampire?

Dec 1, 2008 8:00 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

That's an interesting question, but I think the health version of this is more like Munchausen Syndrome. That's when people fake illness in themselves and their kids, to get attention from doctors. It must be incredibly draining to be around people like that, too (similar to energy vampires).

Dec 5, 2008 8:25 AM

Guest :

Good article! It describes my "best friend" in every way! I tried cutting her out of my life but she contacted me after a year or two and I "forgot" or thought she changed. Here I am back in the same spot, and I'm her only friend because she has pushed everyone else away (and she always lets me know how alone she is in the world). It's gotten to the point where I avoid her calls because they always turn into 40 minute (minimum) vent fests, and don't invite her out with friends because she alienates me from them by sticking to me like glue and refuses to look at my other friends or talk to them or ANYTHING. Ugh!

Dec 17, 2008 6:42 AM

Guest :

What is one to do if they are married to an energy vampire?

Dec 19, 2008 7:05 PM

Guest :

I have a friend who told me he was an energy vampire. I really do not know if he was trying to drain me or not. At the time I was his Boss. We were at the same place of work for approximately 7 years. We started of at the same levele then I became a manger. He is a very smart person. We were more like friends. I left the work place and he later got to be the manger of the group home we were at. We talked from time to time on the phone. He would say things to like why do things have to be this way and not this way. This when we were working together. I told him as manger you only had a limited amount of power as manger and he would not understand it. I told him it was not worth the rise you get. All the red tape and very strict rules at the corp. where we worked. I told him and others he would last about 6 mos as manger. I was correct after 6 mo he went back where he started. We set up to go to the movies and I had to clx. Since then he will not e-mail me after I e-mail him. I guess he did not like that I controled on that day what or what not we did. I think he was planing to try and drain me and I felt it and called off the movies. It seems he does not want anything to do with me now. He knows he can not drain me. You bet if I run in to him I will tell him he can not drain me I will not let it be. Sorry this is so long a comment. As the 11 say stand your ground. There is not a ev that can drain me now with the 11. GUEST T

Dec 20, 2008 7:06 PM

Guest :

lord gosh thank you i really needed this. It describes a girl i no! i cant ever say no to her or any thing and she will try to spend as much time as posible whith me when im in a good mood. odd. . . .

Jan 1, 2009 8:53 AM

Guest :

all well and good, but what if you're married to one? reading this explained a lot to me. now I know why I feel 'empty' all the time.

Jan 4, 2009 6:11 PM

Guest :

me and my friend are energy vampires and i feel offended cuz some of that stuff is a lie!

Jan 11, 2009 8:14 PM

Guest :

I was unfortunate to have a boss who was a spirit vampire. I almost didn't get out alive. I couldn't understand what was happening. At first I felt down and weak after I was around her. Then she moved in to harm me by fabricating a lie about my job performance. I was devastated. Then I became sick and she threatened to fire me, thank goodnes for FMLA. I recovered, discovered that she was a spirit vampire and learned to block her negative moves against me. I prayed a lot and I have survived and she has left the job. This is serious stuff. I heard that she has been unable to find another job and has taken early retirement.

Jan 21, 2009 7:46 AM

Guest :

I have a question. What if the energy vampire is your adult child, who lives in another state? I am a single mom and quite frankly, I am exhausted from the phone calls, confrontations, putdowns from this 32 year old.

I have decided that this year, 2009, I will limit the time I am with him. I love being a parent but I am worn out. Any other suggestions? Thank you.

Jan 23, 2009 7:01 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

That's a tough situation -- when the energy vampire is your own child.

I think the above ways to stop an energy vampire from draining your spirit are still valid.....they're just harder to implement with your own son. The most important thing is to give yourself regular breaks from him. It's good that he lives in a different state because those regular breaks are built right into your lifestyle, as opposed to you having to enforce them.

I'd also suggest not answering the phone each time he calls, and calling him when you feel positive and energetic. Also, set time limits on your phone calls. And, after you get off the phone, do something positive that gives you joy -- whether it's a funny tv show, yoga, or talking to your best friend!

Wishing you the best,
Laurie

Jan 24, 2009 5:23 AM

Guest :

I am a massage therapist, and BOY do you know what you are talking about! I have simply put my hands on people and felt nauseous - they can pull energy that fast! Your tips are really good - if you will allow me to share another one - imagine yourself surrounded by a bubble of light - your favorite color for the day. I give mine properties of osmosis-love and high vibrations can penetrate it, but low vibrational energy cannot, and no one can hook siphons into it! It really helps me set an emotional and psychological boundary when a physical boundary is not possible. I also do an affirmation, like 'may love come in and all else flee' or something similar. Hope this is helpful to someone..

Feb 4, 2009 2:46 PM

Guest :

Seriously, this article made my day. I have a friend of 18 years that has remained a friend because our spouses are very close. Because they are divorcing, the friendship is falling apart. I have had a lot of guilt, but don't miss her in my life. This article described her to a T! Thanks.

Feb 11, 2009 4:43 PM

Guest :

but how can we HELP a vampire? how can they change?

Feb 12, 2009 6:57 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I think the only way to help an energy vampire is to be honest. Tell them that the reason you're limiting your time spent with them is because you feel drained and empty afterwards. Be specific about how they drain your energy -- do they complain too much or criticize you? Do they constantly talk about themselves.

You can't change anybody, but you can share you feel when you're with them.

Feb 18, 2009 6:44 AM

Guest :

Listen, this is true, but not all energy vampires take energy unwillingly. I for one, am a energy vampire. I do not suck the energy out of one person making them feel drained. I will get a few doners, maybe 4 or 5 people and drain of just enough energy to where they will feel fine afterwards. Though, not all energy vampires have morals, I do, and there are many other who do as well.

You also forget to mention that some people do it UNINTENTIONALLY. Yes,some of them don't know what they are doing. That doesn't make them evil people. I do suggest staying away from energy vampires most of the time, beacause some of them only care about getting the high off of your energy. You can't always avoid my kind though. Alot of energy vampires hang out in public places such as malls.

This article also fails to mention that you can erect mental sheilds to block a vampires energy draining. I myself erect mental sheilds as energy vampires can feed on eachother.

Feb 21, 2009 5:50 AM

Guest :

gosh. i find my housemate to be an energy vampire at times. it's not unending - as in, it's really easy to tell when he's looking after himself and doing 'the right thing'. but when he's not, it's difficult to even hear his name, knowing what i have to share living space with! his neuroses are like a swirling black hole and it's hard not to get sucked into it, even without engaging directly.

he's moving out soon, which i think will help both of us. having a source to drain from only keeps a vampire draining. i'm so so so looking forward to only seeing him in measured doses, AWAY from my place of rest. my instincts tell me it'll help the friendship recover from it's already strained state.

good luck to everyone dealing with a vampire. it pretty much sucks. :(

Feb 22, 2009 12:49 PM

Guest :

I make big deals out of nothing, in fact a lot of the points displayed sound like me. Also when I'm around certain people I get really energetic and it's as if I'm hyper constantly around them. How can you tell if your an energy vampire?? I don't want to harm my friends, please reply.

Feb 22, 2009 3:17 PM

Guest :

does any1 think it is possible for an energy vampire to make somebody ill? ie} a vunerable person who cares alot about the vampire without knowing what they are. because i have witnessed an elderly person more or less losing their mind and almost dieing inside after spending alot of time around such a person but the seeming to improve when a distance was put between them. the person being drained showed changes in their eyes especially. they looked almost as if they had cataract, their eyes were cloudy and dead. they had already developed dementia but it seemed to worsen with contact and improve with prolonged periods of no contact. would love some feed back off any one who knows enough to comment. my web name is e@rlyemp@th if any1 replies

Mar 3, 2009 12:06 PM

Guest :

wow, a large variety of situations to consider....Remember that you are a Soul.. wrap yourself in unconditional love, which is the highest vibration possible. Be all love and it will shield you from a tonne of negative energy... this has proven true for me. I wish you each all the love in your lives... to be a shield from these energy vampires.. to be aware is step number one

Mar 4, 2009 10:25 PM

Guest :

Hi, I am wondering it says above these energy vamqires have energy leaks, and so they need to fill these leaks..How can they fix these energy leaks, and does everyone have these energy leaks?? Do they have some sort of bad sqirit in them? What exactly causes these energy leaks? Thank you, great information...

Mar 5, 2009 7:16 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Great questions! One is answered in the article above: a possible cause of leakage in energy vampires is some sort of crisis (the article explains it a little more). I'd expect a different cause for different people, because we're motivated by different things.

To fix energy leaks, it helps to know that you're an energy vampire! That is, most energy vampires don't know they're absorbing other people's positive energy and leaving no or negative energy in place. I don't know what would happen if you told an energy vampire what was happening -- but I suspect he or she would have to be incredibly insightful and self-aware to accept the info and try to change!

I don't know anothing about bad spirits, but I do know each person is different and every culture has different beliefs. This affects what you believe about energy vampires.

It is fascinating, isn't it?

Thanks for your questions -- sorry I don't have all the answers!

Laurie

Mar 9, 2009 1:12 AM

Guest :

Thank you so much. I've been hounded by one particular energy Vampire... today was another one of those days and I've been fighting the urge to just bury myself in bed since 8pm. One little conversation ruined a fantastic weekend of feeling upbeat! Unfortunately I fell into that little trap of listening and trying to save the energy vampire from their little woes. Gotta stop that! Unfortunately I feel bad cutting them out of my life, and I can't avoid them completely because we work together on projects.
I've been told to wear a crystal when I'm around this person. Have you heard of that technique?

Mar 9, 2009 5:13 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Wearing a crystal to ward off energy vampires vaguely rings a bell, but I don't know anything about it. But maybe I'm thinking of garlic and the other type of vampires!

It can't hurt, at any rate - crystals are gorgeous items, and if they make you feel strong and energetic, then they might help. But your best bet for coping with an energy vampire that drains your spirit is to learn how to deal with him or her in practical ways, as described above.

Mar 17, 2009 2:44 PM

Guest :

wow I actually knew an energy vampire -two of them - and though they said they were friends , they were'nt because one of them was so manipulative and everytime I was hanging around her in 7th grade and 8th grade . It was not worthwile .I can see the person that they are not to be hung around with .When people like them make friends with you , you try to end the friendship . i'm glad I know how to end a friendship without parental approval.

Mar 24, 2009 1:43 PM

Guest :

I agree with most of the ways to protect your energy. Avoid being in close places? Limit eye contact? Energy vampires like to vent? I think people take this in different ways.

I live in Atlanta, and socializing has changed. People need the ability to distinguish between an Energy vampire and a person that is genuine/truthful. There are alot of people who walk around looking at the ground or straight out ignoring people. If a person greets them then they turn their haed away quickly. I guess the answer is to ignore to protect yourself. Venting. Should we bottle everything up inside and not express ourselves?

Everyone should vent at sometime, it depends on why, who you are venting to and about what. Avoid close spaces? So now people have a reason to avoid others for really no reason. Personally I want discernment on all things. Some people may really need help or assistence on some things. i don't shy away from making eyecontact. I just deflect anything negative. I think most people really miss out on things because they judge All people and situations the same. We need to be stronger not at the mercy of energy thieves.

Apr 10, 2009 10:02 AM

Guest :

Can you help a person that is depressed? Or do you just avoid them?
Vivian

Apr 11, 2009 5:55 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Whether you avoid someone who is depressed or try to help them depends on your relationship with them! I think depression is different than being an "energy vampire" - but a person could certainly struggle with both at the same time.

Here's an article on helping someone with depression http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/when_depression_hits_your_family (cut and paste into your browser).

Remember, you can't cure someone's depression -- you can only be there for them. People who are depressed need support, but they also need to go to the doctor, consider talk therapy....in other words, they have to take action to deal with their depression.

Is the person you're thinking about both depressed AND an energy vampire?

Laurie

Apr 22, 2009 4:58 PM

Guest :

I am religious and never believed all this mumbo.. but Ive run into a mathamatician and healing accupuncturist who told me I was a vampire of energy with no energy of my own and I crave and steal the energy of people around me and mainly the two people I am around most(my husband and sis). I find it very interesting b/c I am very loud,funny,never nervous about people or situations and take anything on. I'm the person ready to lead others, I ALWAYS set the mood and tone of conversation and will and usually do approach anyone with anything on my mind. I once though I was just a people person...LOL.. but after reading the article above me I realized I am the life of the party around others and have so much energy but when alone, I am calm, content and not only have no energy (good or bad feelings or vibes) but I really dont care about anything. I do ALL those things above as well, and I always noticed how I drained people. As somber as this all sounds my reading also said I have always and will always continue to get Money and the things I want in life very easily, I am very bossy but it is a smoke screen for my big heart, which the reader said he's never seen before. Anyways, so long story short what am I to do? I dont want to be a bossy bitch and chew everyone out everyday. I'm tired of the endless arguments with my husband and sis that I always start over nothing and will never take no for an answer. I always thought I had anger managment problems but I swear to you I am the nicest person you will ever meet UNTIL you either screw me over or not on the same page I am. It's hard reflecting on yourself like this but I dont want to be like this.. I'm 26 and just a year ago stepped out of my confort zone and REALIZED what I was doing. If anyone has any helpful info for me please contact me, I am eager to learn where I can get my energy fix without taking so much out of the people I love.

Apr 24, 2009 1:58 AM

Guest :

hello.evry persn i met in my life hav som sort of vampirism with thm.all human beings r dffrnt nd so their aura nd their enrgy fields also varies.enrgy vampirism can b cured.4 that he shud b in contact with places wher he wil get sufficient pranic enrgy.

May 15, 2009 4:45 PM

Guest :

I know a 5 year old energy vampire. How do I stay away from her? she makes me play with her all the time and makes me soo exhausted. I'm glad that I know now because I have done some reasearch and she fits most of the "expectations." She isn't happy with herself and she thinks everyone hates her. I know it's wrong to fall for it. She's a dang good actor though...

May 16, 2009 5:38 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I assume the five year old energy vampire is your own child? Yes, that makes it really hard to stay away from her!

Some of the ways to stop an energy vampire from draining your spirit still apply -- but they're more difficult to implement with your own daughter.

I'll write an article about this, since two people have asked, and will post it soon!

Thanks for your question,
Laurie

May 16, 2009 6:45 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I've written an article about coping with kids who drain your energy -- it's in the list of articles at the end of this post about how energy vampires drain your spirit.

May 29, 2009 7:24 PM

Guest :

To the person who "has" the unemployed angry "bipolar" drug dealer..that is not an energy vampire, those are hallmark characteristics of bipolar disorder. Redundancy reigns.

Jun 16, 2009 4:39 AM

Guest :

My wife is an energy vampire. We have only been married 6 years but she has aged me 20 years.

Jun 22, 2009 9:43 AM

Guest :

As someone who is a Vampyer I find this article partially true. The instances that are described above are done by people that either 1)Do not understand what they are doing, so this is coming out naturally. or 2) They do not care and are being unethical in there needs.
The 11 steps above are a good set of guidelines to follow with deal with Vampyers that are specifically feeding off of negative energy.
But realize that very few Vampyers feed this way. Many that I know feed of joyous emotions such that are felt at Weddings, Concerts, and Birthday parties. So please do not judge all of us from the few that either don't know another way or those that choose to be unethical in the way the carry themselves.
Knight

Jun 29, 2009 10:48 PM

Guest :

Yea...one flaw in all of it...you could possibly be dating or married to one,what are you gonna do then,you can't just back off from them,especially if you care for them.
But other than that it's good.

Jul 12, 2009 7:37 AM

Guest :

I moved across the country to be around my sister and her family. After arriving and a month or so of being here, I found myself increasingly negative and a mere shadow of the person I used to be. I finally figured out that being around her, I felt drained, argumentative (b/c yelling is about the only way she communicates), and depressed. I began not spending time with her and her family and within a month or so, I became me again. I'm now moving back home and I feel like my old self. The tips in this article are good, and they are effective, I do put up boundaries, ending phone calls (which are tense!) with things like, "Well, think about it and give me a call back," and that's it. Even if it's family, you don't have to let them totally into your life, no one is worth it!

Jul 24, 2009 11:33 AM

Guest :

The only way an energy vampire can steal your energy is for your vibration to be insink with their negative vibration. This means they must trick you into lowering your vibration to theres before they can feast. The lower your spirit vibrates , the easier it is for energy vampires to strike. If you just stay positive they cant steal. Remember this: Nothing can enter you spiritual being that isnt a match of YOUR frequency. Master the art of zoning out/not listening when someone is negative. How many times has someone accused you of not listening? Maybe now you know why you didnt.

Jul 28, 2009 12:00 AM

Guest :

im in love with my husband an he is one he dont afect me yeah i feel tired at times but that natral sleepy feelings

Aug 8, 2009 3:09 PM

Guest :

The parent to child conflict has been addressed, however, what if it is from the child's view? I'm 18, my mother is an alcoholic and I've tried time and time again to reason with her. She is very persistent and is constantly complaining about how horrible her life is, yet she never takes the blame and she is never willing to let herself be happy. You try to walk away from her and she puts you on a guilt trip or gets angry with you. Some nights I dread coming home and I fear it's getting worse. What should I do?

Aug 9, 2009 6:42 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

You can't reason with an addict or alcoholic, my friend. The only way to cope with your mom is to move out. You need to create distance between you and her, and it's really difficult to do that when you're living in the same place -- no matter how big it is!

And, you need to practice ways of dealing with your feelings of guilt. You and she are caught in an unhealthy cycle, and you need to be strong to get out of it!

To help, I wrote a short post called "How Do I Cope With Toxic Parents?" on my Psychology blog, and gave you more detailed suggestions there. Here, I can't include links to relevant articles.

To get there, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to "How Do I Cope With Toxic Parents?" You can also find it in the August, 2009 list on the side panel.

I hope to see you there, and I wish you all the best!

Laurie

Aug 16, 2009 2:50 PM

Guest :

Hi.
I am very glad that I read this article.
I have been a classmate with an energy vampire for 5 years and now we are going to be colleagues in University! I am almost devastated, because that means I will be seeing this person again for a couple of years :( The thing is that I am an empath and it is even worse for me. That person really drains me. The problem is that I can't ignore his energy. The only salvation is not to be around him... but now, as we are colleagues, what can I do? :(((((

Aug 16, 2009 3:51 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

That's a great question. I'm just now working on an article about coping with colleagues who are energy vampires, and will post it in two days (this Tuesday). I'll post a note here, letting you know when it's up!

Aug 16, 2009 4:19 PM

Guest :

Thank you very much, Laurie. I will be expecting the article! :) (it's the person with the latest entry) :)
PS: I know that in University is different than in class- there you can choose more freely who to spend your time with (in the lectures there are too many people to focus only on the most negative one (in that case, my ex-classmate and future colleague). But the fact is one- he is draining and his eyes are a sole reason to feel repressed. Somehow, when I am around him, I feel my complete opposite- I am acting illogically, and I cannot be natural. Always scrutinizing my own words, always being careful what to say (because he loves to be ironical to everything I do and say).

Aug 18, 2009 8:44 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hello, my friends,

I wrote an article called "Coping With Negative Coworkers Who Drain Your Spirit" on my See Jane Soar website. Just Google "See Jane Soar"; it's currently the most recent article. I can't post the link here, and thought it'd be better suited there than here on Suite.

If you're reading this article after August 21, then just copy and paste the title of the article in Google. It'll pop right up! :-)

Laurie

Sep 6, 2009 9:14 AM

Guest :

This is a disgrace Energy Vampires have no relation to this article, these are drama queens or whining brats who you speak of. Do some more research before you use the term energy vampire loosely. Anyone who reads this article. i reccomend you also do some research into psi-vampirism and sanguine vampirism before taking this bull at face value. I am Psi-vampire and im a positive person, i just need a little more energy to survive. Look it up yourself at sanguinarius.org and stop labeling us without adequete knowledge

Sep 8, 2009 12:40 PM

Guest :

what do you do when a person you consider a daughter and love deeply...drains you?

Sep 9, 2009 7:47 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I actually wrote an article called “Tips for Coping With Children Who Are Energy Vampires” on my Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals blog. To read it, just copy and paste that article title into Google; it should appear at the top of the search results. I can’t post links here.

As you’re learning, you can love someone dearly and still be drained by her! The key is to limit the amount of time you spend with her, and be strategic about how and when you spend time with her. For instance, don’t go for lunch if you have a heavy afternoon at work or if you’re feeling physically ill. Consider breaking up your visit by inviting someone else along for part of it – such as for dessert and coffee after dinner together.

She is who she is, and you are who you are…and the best way to love her is to accept her the way she is. This doesn’t mean you have to spend lots of time with her! In fact, you might act more lovingly towards her and think more positively about her if you limit your time together.

I hope this helps a little, and encourage you to read the article about children and energy vampires.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Sep 16, 2009 10:08 AM

Guest :

Hey guys, are there any charms or any items to protect u from them, coz i think my teacher is one, she is old, adn i have more boreing teachers than her and it feels like i wanna die or go to sleep, she keeps smileing. Can anyone help me ?

Oct 10, 2009 4:26 AM

Guest :

great article,

can you say please, that in practical terms these people are simply; selfish, negative personas that want to make you low by manipulating, because of jelousy.

txs

Oct 13, 2009 6:54 PM

Guest :

Wow, this is so on the ball. There is a woman whom I briefly became involved with. We both train at the same gym. After being busy for a few weeks with work and training for a competition, she tried to force a conversation by physically blocking the exit from the shower area with her arms and body (she was clothed, I only had a towel). I also feel like she stole a friend from me by spending as much time as possible with her (even though this lady is a social butterfly and claims she has so many friends whom she went to college with - maybe they just don't want to hang out with her because she's crazy).

My only question is, how do you make energy vampires go away? The place where I train is my home away from home and they are my extended family (I've been there 4 years, she's only been there one year). Every time she's at the gym, her crappy energy permeates the entire place. Even other people noticed that her crappy energy poisoned the atmosphere the very first time they had to work with her in a sparring class. Ugh.

Oct 14, 2009 9:19 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I’m sorry to hear how this woman’s negative energy is affecting your life! It can be difficult to deal with people like that, especially if you’re in regular contact that you can’t seem to avoid.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any suggestions for making energy vampires go away…I think your best bet is to learn how to cope with the negative effects of being around her. Or, you could consider training at a different gym, which is too bad because you’ve been there longer.

Another possibility is changing your workout time so you see her less, or for shorter periods of time.

Sorry I can’t be more helpful!

Best wishes,
Laurie

Oct 17, 2009 8:11 PM

Guest :

Like can humans drain energy too??Can you drain your energy back from the vampire that took it from you??

Oct 19, 2009 3:11 AM

Guest :

seriously... energy vampires?
this is a handy idea you got there. trying to imply that people who feel empty and sad after a conversation because they have been drained by some kind of emotional-vacuum cleaner.

Mrs Pawlik-Kienlen, have you never taken advantage of a relationship to vent your anger, issues and so on?

The vampire thing is just one of the many symbols of our true nature. Most of the time we just care about ourselves and we dramatize. We all do that. The world's a stage, as some playwright said, and we're all actors in it. People who don't do that, people who can't do that, are autistic and sick and unhappy. We all act out our impulses and habits. This is life. People have always acted the way they should. Religion took care of that.

People who are drained are either unable to perceive it, or are just waiting for something to happen. Love, recognition, I don't know. But this energy vampire thing is like, you're blaming a very human attention disorder as a source for all the problems in our life : OTHER PEOPLE ! In fact this disorder, this desire to be loved and admired and listened, is a symptom of a sick society imprinting its vices and faults thru drama TV and over-simplification such as your articles.

Don't get me wrong, I do think there are energy vampires.
Actually I think there are about 6 BILLIONS of them on this planet. And counting. Saying some of us are drained is simply overlooking the fact that we all go through this sort of phase. Some of us think the solution is to keep "draining" people to feel better, but in the long run, unless they are really blind to their own thoughts, they have to turn to another way to see their issues through.

You want to deal with energy vampires, good, then admit you're one yourself. Me, when I take, I give. I listen. Because I know how good it feels to vent and then give something back. This is just a matter of education. Educate people to drain AND give, and that'll be it. People don't care anymore because we're born inside a cocoon of false hope and false happiness. There doesn't seem to be anything to care for, nothing seems to be true and you can't seem to really trust anyone. This is why they need attention. This is why we grab it when they can : because we're predatory animals, you see, there's no big conspiration, people are just corrupted by the way they live.

So we just grab what we can until something, anything happens.

That'll be all!

Oct 31, 2009 11:11 AM

Guest :

I love this article. I am currently living with a 20 year old drama queen to the max. She purposefuly got herself pregnant and is now using that as her main drainage source. She is 7 weeks and has already quit going to work, she claims she has bad morning sickness but I have found her numerous times gagging herself to make herself throw up. She does not do anything in the house at all. and best of all.....her dad is the landlord and he keeps saying he is goin to kick her out but it hasnt happened yet. This girl is insane and will do anything to get some attention, its rather scary. With this article I have began to just completely ignore that she exists in my household and hopefully she will move out soon or I will! thanks for posting this!!