Marriage Advice For Long-Term Love: Relationship Help to Make Loving Your Partner Easy

Even the most solid long-term love affair needs the occasional marriage advice and relationship help. Here are six tips to make loving your partner easy, to strengthen your relationship.

Marriage Advice for Long-Term Love

1. Visualize Your Ideal Marriage

What kind of marriage do you want? Who do you have to be – how do you have to change – to be half of that marriage? Visualization isn’t just about training for marathons or doubling your income, it’s powerful and effective relationship help. Spend a few minutes a day thinking about your ideal marriage, and you'll remember how to love your spouse. Share your thoughts and hopes with your partner. You may be together in the same house, but miles apart emotionally. Visualization can bridge the gap.

2. Figure Out Your Role

If you're living like roommates and yet you're in love long-term, ask yourself when you forgot how to love your spouse. What would you do differently if you could do it over? Forget about how your spouse has disappointed you: how have you disappointed yourself in this relationship? With a little soul-searching, you can figure out how you can show more love, kindness, acceptance, and compassion…which may lead to more love from your partner.

3. Forgive and Forget

This isn't just a cliché; it's sound marriage advice. If you hold on to grudges or betrayals, you’re just perpetuating the damage. Maybe he messed up, maybe you did…but ruminating and not letting it go just makes things worse. Talking to a counselor or wise friend can help you remember how to love your spouse. Even better, tell your partner that you’re having trouble letting go of your bitterness or hurt. This relationship help involves learning to forgive and let go, so you can strengthen your relationship and love your partner more.

4. Learn Something New Together

Take a ballroom dance class or join a book club together. Do yoga or take a communication class at a local school or college. Not only will you learn a new activity or a new way to think, you’ll also learn something new about your partner. This bit of marriage advice can strengthen your relationship by giving you an adventure to enjoy together.

5. Remember What Was Once Obvious

When you first fell in love, you focused on your partner’s strengths. You loved his determination and melted at his compassion. You overlooked the weaknesses (possibly to the detriment of the relationship or your self-esteem!), and concentrated on all the fantastic qualities. The more you focus on his strengths, the more loving you’ll feel towards him. Think about why you were first attracted to him and be grateful for the good parts of your life together. This relationship help is about brushing away the annoyances. A caveat: if the “annoyances” are major problems such as abuse, criminal activity, or other evil behaviors, forget about his so-called strengths and figure out how to get help and get your life back on track!

To learn to love your partner and strengthen your relationship, show your love in small ways throughout the day. For instance, these 64 ways to say "I love you" is good marriage advice for long-term love. To feel new love for your partner, try expressing your love in new, different ways -- because actions often lead to feelings.

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May 15, 2009 6:46 AM

Guest :

Dear Laurie PK,

I have been married for last month and a half and in this time i fail to develop any feelings or interest in my husband. ours is an arrange marriege. i hav never been in a relationship before and wanted to marry someone who had a similar past, but on the contrary from the first day of our married life my hsband has been telling me about his past affairs but says that they are all over now and now it is only me in his life and that he loves me a lot. whichi i dont believe. how can a person love two women in his life. the women whom he said he ws in love got married abt a year and a half ago and since then although they had been in contact but he says nothing is same or nothing left in them. but i dont believe him. after this relationship he had some physical relationship with his land lady and another girl girl as well. but now he says everything is over and it is only me. on the other hand i dont feel attracted to him either physically or emotionally.

Another thing to mention is that his mother told wrong age and he told me his real after our marriege which makes him 8yrs elder to me, which for me is huge age difference. now he wants me to behave like his girlfriend which i fail to because i dont like him and because i dont like his past life and affairs and i simply dont trust him. what should i do?

May 15, 2009 7:39 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm sorry - you're in a tough situation. It's hard to be married to someone who wasn't truthful and whom you don't love.

If you have to stay in this marriage, I suggest you focus on his strengths and the benefits of being married. Use the relationship help and marriage advice above, and talk to the women around you. How did they fall in love with their husbands through arranged marriages? Find friends who understand what you're going through because they've been there themselves. Make at least one good friend, who you can talk to.

And, remember that love takes time to grow -- even for couples who marry for love! I love my husband more now, after almost 4 years of marriage, than I did when we first got married. Long-term love develops after years of experiencing life, problems, joys, and everyday trivialities together. It takes years for long-term love to grow.

As far as loving two women -- yes, I think you can feel love for different people. I'm not saying he's right for having affairs in the past, but I do think the human heart has the capacity to love different people in different ways.

To build a strong marriage, you have to trust him. I don't know if he is trustworthy or if he'll be with other women -- but you can't start your marriage with suspicion and distrust. Trust him until he gives you a reason NOT to trust him.

I wish I had better answers and marriage advice for you! But I don't think there are any magic solutions. This man could turn out to be the best husband you could ever hope for......but it won't happen unless you give it a good chance.

What do you think of this? Please feel free to come back and share your thoughts anytime. It's all anonymous.

Best wishes,
Laurie