Review of The Definitive Book of Body Language
Amateur Psychology Guide Reveals Hidden Subtext of Communication
Authors Allan and Barbara Pease have been studying body language for decades (but apparently have no formal training in psychology or related fields) and have clearly become adept at reading clues in posture, body position and more.
They begin the book with a clear and convincing case for the importance of understanding body language.
Body Language Can Speak Louder Than Words
Evolutionarily speaking, talking is a fairly recent development in the human species. Communicating via eye contact, the position of limbs and other physical means is much older and more ingrained in human behavior and still constitutes a major segment of what humans communicate to each other.
And words can be an avenue for deceit. If an observer wants to know what someone else is really thinking or feeling, few skills offer better payoff than learning some basic interpretations of body language.
How to Detect a Genuine Smile
The Peases go on to tackle specifics chapter by chapter, progressing from smiles to arm positioning to eye contact and more.
Many of the ideas they present are fascinating and helpful in everyday social contact. To tell if someone's smile is genuine, for example, pay attention to the eyes. A real, spontaneous expression of happiness involves both the mouth and muscles above it, resulting in some crow's feet showing.
The Peases offer much detail on different types of handshake, revealing the positions that indicate a strong play for dominance and how to counteract them. (For a reliable, neutral shake, keep your hand perpendicular to the ground and apply the same amount of pressure as the other person.)
Other sections focus more on business situations, particularly sales calls. Humans know intuitively, for example, that crossed arms are a signal of resistance or doubt. That position not only reflects such an attitude, however, it reinforces it. Get the person to uncross their arms – handing brochures and tsotchkes work well -- and their feelings will start to align with their body position.
Broad Claims on Sex Differences Need Evidence
Where the Peases fall short is in sections discussing body language as a sexual or romantic expression. The authors make broad claims for physiological and mental gender differences that seem to contradict current scientific consensus, yet they cite no research to support their claims.
Instead, the reader is frequently reminded that the authors have covered such subjects in greater depth in previous tomes such as "Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes." The effect is to both exacerbate and explain an apparent bias that some may feel undercuts their authority.
The frequent inclusion of jokes and a strange obsession with British royalty may annoy readers; some of whom may be left wishing more judicious editing had been applied.
All in all, however, there's much to learn from The Definitive Guide to Body Language for anyone interested in language, psychology and related areas.
"The Definitive Book of Body Language," Allan Pease and Barbara Pease. Bantam Books, 2006. ISBN 978-0-553-80472-0.
A Handshake Can Reveal Much.
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The Authors Have Studied Body Language for Decades
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