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Reasons People Have Sex

Physical, Emotional, Social & Psychological Motives for Intercourse

Aug 2, 2007

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Why we have sex ranges from boredom to spirituality, curiosity to chemistry. To enjoy a sexual relationship with your partner, you need to move past fear of intimacy.

Reasons people have sex range don't just include love, romance, and a yearning to be close to your partner. Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin discovered many more motives for intercourse, ranging from boredom to psychological manipulation.

According to Science Daily, the researchers identified four major categories and 13 subcategories of reasons people have sex.

Physical reasons people have sex

Stress reduction: "It's good exercise."
Curiosity: "What would it be like with this person, or try that position?"
Sexual chemistry: "He's hot. She's got a great body."
Pleasure: "It feels good."

Emotional reasons people have sex

Love: "I want to feel connected."
Expression: "I want to say thanks or express my gratitude."

Motivational (goal-based) reasons people have sex

Procreation: "I want to have a baby."
Social status: "I want to be popular."
Revenge: "I want to give someone a sexually transmitted disease."

Insecurity-based reasons people have sex

Self-esteem: "I want the attention. I want to feel better about myself."
Pressure: "My partner insisted."
Protection: "To keep my partner faithful."

Other reasons people have sex

Spiritual: "I want to feel closer to God."
Unselfish: "I want my partner to feel good about him or herself."
Harm: "I want to break up a relationship."
To impress others: "I want to brag to my friends."
Psychological manipulation: "I want a raise, promotion, or to make a sale."
Self-humiliation: "I want to debase myself."

Many of these reasons people have sex are intertwined. That is, people have sex for more than one reason (eg, because their partner insisted and they want to feel connected and they want to have a baby.)

Undisclosed reasons people have sex

This list only scratches the surface of all the possible physical, emotional, social & psychological motives for intercourse. The researchers surveyed university undergraduates; I suspect older, more mature people have sex for different reasons.

For instance, elderly people may have sex simply because they can. Maybe they've endured a long drought for health or social reasons, and they can now enjoy intercourse again – so they do! A renewed interested in having sex isn't limited to elderly people, if course: people who've survived cancer or a brush with death may have sex more often than before.

People who've been sexually abused may have sex for psychological reasons. People who've seen their parents have sex may pursue sexual intimacy for different psychological reasons.

Fear of intimacy

Not being able to move past the emotional walls isn't necessarily a barrier to physical intercourse, but it is a barrier to emotional connection and sometimes even physical satisfaction. Fear of intimacy affects your ability to respond to your partner – both physically and emotionally.

For more information on fear of intimacy, read Overcoming Fear of Intimacy.

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The copyright of the article Reasons People Have Sex in Psychology is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Reasons People Have Sex in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.