Letting Go of Unachievable Goals
How to Reevaluate Your Life, Make New Plans, & Create Success
Apr 21, 2008
Have you ever considered giving up on your goals? Most people have -- and sometimes, quitting goals is the healthiest thing you can do.
Here, successful businesswoman and motivational speaker Kayla Fioravanti reveals how to let go of unachievable life goals and describes several practical steps to reaching your goals.
Kayla, have you ever given up on an unachievable life goal?
I experienced two failed businesses with my husband. No matter how much work I put in and no matter what methods I used to approach the problems, I could not make the businesses work. I had to accept that any further energy I put into reviving these dead businesses would be wasted. It was hugely disappointing and very difficult for me to accept that there wasn't anything I could do to fix them.
It was both devastating and freeing to let go of those businesses. They were unachievable goals.
My husband and I now own and operate a very successful business, called Essential Wholesale, which was listed in the INC 5000 fastest growing companies in America. Without the failure of the other two dreams, we would not have experienced the lessons that led us to this success.
Why do people see quitting as a weak or negative thing to do – whether it's giving up a goal of losing 5 pounds or letting go of career goals?
We have super human expectations for ourselves. Even when it’s not possible to achieve a particular goal we believe that if we only work harder, try more or put more money into it, we can force it to work.
What are some practical steps to achieving life goals?
- Set realistic goals. It’s important to have goals and always be in motion moving towards goals – but it’s critical that they be realistic goals. Many people set goals that are unrealistic, and then beat themselves up over their failure to succeed. Goals should be approached in bite-sized pieces, and they should be evaluated with an outside mentor. Objective eyes can help you separate the unrealistic from the realistic.
- Write out your goals. Write out the steps that need to be taken, the pros and cons of reaching for that goal and what you imagine the end result will be. This helps you see all the steps and evaluate them based on your skill sets. If your goal requires skills that you don't have, it might mean getting some help along the way. It’s okay to have a giant unimaginable goal, as long as you have obtainable steps along the way. For instance, if your goal is to lose 100 lbs, you don't set out to lose it all the first week.
- Take one step at a time. The “all or nothing mentality” will lead you to beat yourself up for perceived failure, so work towards your goal in small steps.
What if we can’t achieve our life goals, but we hate the thought of quitting?
Think of quitting as a “course correction”, and you’ll be able to forgive yourself easier than if you view it as quitting or failure. People who successfully walk away from unproductive situations view it as a course correction. They realize they are wasting their time on one path and simply find a better way to use their skills and talents.
I also allow myself to mourn defeat, failure or a course correction for 24 hours. Then I force myself to sit down and evaluate all the possibilities around me to choose a new direction. What trips people up is grieving for too long. They bring themselves down with their own thought processes.
For more information about Kayla Fioravanti and her successful business, visit EssentialWholesale.com.
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