A home burglary can be emotionally traumatic for the victim of a break-in, leaving emotions of violation, fear and anger. Try these tips to cope after a burglary.
A home break-in can be a frightening and emotional experience for the homeowner. Emotional trauma often results from a home burglary, leaving the victim with feelings of insecurity, violation, anger and sadness.
"A burglary is a very emotionally traumatic event for the victim," explained Brett Pelletier, LICSW. "Not only is your home - your sanctuary - invaded and violated, but victims are upset that they've had their valuables stolen. Irreplaceable sentimental belongings are stolen. Your home may be ransacked and your home is usually damaged. Pets can be injured or lost during the home break-in. And essentially every home burglary victim is left wondering 'What if I was home.' It's a terrifying and unsettling experience so it's expected that there will be some emotional trauma following a break-in."
Pelletier, who specializes in counseling the victims of home break-ins and burglaries, offered the following tips for coping with the emotional trauma and distress that a burglary victim can experience.
Report the Home Break to Police
A surprising number of theft victims, burglary victims and car break victims do not report the crime to police. Many assume that there is virtually no chance that the perpetrator will be caught and most are resigned to the fact that their stolen belongings are gone for good.
"If you don't report the crime, there's a 100% chance that the person responsible for the break will not be held responsible for the crime. And there's zero chance that you'll get your belongings back. If you report the crime to police, there's at least a chance that the suspect will be identified and at least some of your stolen belongings will be recovered," Pelletier explained, adding, "Reporting the crime is also the first step toward psychological recovery from the mental trauma that burglary victims experience. You're taking a pro-active stance. You're doing something about it."
Cooperate and Help with the Police Investigation
It's also important for home burglary victims to compile a list of the stolen items, with a detailed description of each item and the estimated replacement value for each item. The sooner police receive this list, the sooner the real investigation can begin, so it's vital to provide this information within 24 hours of when the break-in is discovered.
"Many victims of home break-ins find this a very emotionally difficult process, listing and describing the items that were stolen during the burglary. You have to confront the fact that your safe zone has been violated and that your valuables and items with sentimental values have been stolen. But this confrontation is a vital first step in the healing process," Pelletier explained.
If the House Has Been Ransacked, Clean up and Rearrange
Often, burglary victims feel very violated when they discover their home has been ransacked or damaged. The process of breaking into a home and ransacking a house is a form of violation that conveys a complete disrespect for the victim's home - their private sanctuary. So it's important to clean up the home following a burglary as soon as possible; many victims find this empowering, as they are restoring order to the home in a way that counteracts those feelings of victimization.
Many home burglary victims also find it therapeutic to rearrange the furniture, to re-paint a room, or make other aesthetic changes to the home.
Pelletier explained, "Rearranging or redecorating after a home break-in helps victims to cope. The 'old' house was invaded and violated by the burglar, but this new and improved version of your home is a new environment that's untouched by the perpetrator. It's a way of reclaiming what's rightfully yours."
Improve Home Security and Take a Self-Defense Class
"One major element of the emotional trauma following a break-in involves the loss of the 'it could never happen to me' illusion. Burglary victims, victims of violent crimes and natural disasters often find it difficult to confront their new-found vulnerability. The key is to do something proactive, do something that will prevent future victimization," Pelletier recommended.
A couple of great ways to prevent future victimization involves improving home security features or taking a self-defense class. Many police departments host Rape Aggression Defense (R.A.D) System courses free of charge to members of the community. Securing the home and learning self defense methods can go a long way toward restoring a burglary victim's sense of security.
Home break-in victims may also be interested to read What to Do After a House Burglary for tips on what to do following a home burglary.
The copyright of the article How to Handle Emotional Trauma from a Burglary in Psychology is owned by Mia Carter. Permission to republish How to Handle Emotional Trauma from a Burglary in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
After someone broke into my apartment in the middle of the night (and I was
home -- I won't go in to the gory details here!), I moved to a new place
the very next day.
It may not be the most efficient or
convenient way to cope with a burglary, but it helped me sleep at night!
Dec 29, 2008 4:07 AM
Guest :
How do you deal with the self-blame and shoulda coulda woulda? Any
steps I take now to protect myself seem weak and misplaced and pointless.
I'm so angry at the people who burglarized my home and I can't even
imagine their faces or direct my anger toward anyone... but myself ,for
leaving the blinds open and not listening to my instincts to go overboard
on home security even though I live in a "good neighborhood."
Mar 3, 2009 4:09 AM
Guest :
We debated on moving, and the next day after our home was robbed, I started
house shopping. I walk into my house and I can see strangers making
themselves at home and stealing my things. The worst was they stole all of
my daughters nintendo wii and wii fit collection... leaving her to tell me,
"Momma they stole my Christmas" (she had gotten it all for
christmas). But I feel like if I move, they won.
I did
repaint some rooms, I scrubbed the house down from floor to ceiling (I
guess I thought I was washing away their presence?) once the police gave me
the O.K., and now I'm in this stage of anger. Why me, why did you steal
from me, why did you destroy my house, where are your parents (we suspect
they were two young kids that I saw eyeing my car... sadly I worried more
about my car than the house!)
I don't sleep, when I do I have
nightmares... The what ifs run through my head constantly, and then I
remind myself: My kids are safe and unharmed, and our family pet (a
weimaraner named Jack) is okay and still with us. We know the people that
broke into our home hurt him and kicked him around as he was VERY scared to
come out of the corner and by people, but a check up with the Vet revealed
he was okay.
I live on a lake, when it comes down to memories of
being robbed, and memories of sitting at the shoreline with my kids as we
watch the waves crash over our legs... the lake and my kids win.
I'm pricing security systems, have replaced locks... but I'm still
scared, and I think I will be for a long time. But I liked this article,
it made me feel like maybe I wasn't crazy for repainting, washing walls,
and redecorating things. ...And for now, I just feel violated,
insecure, and a bit lost and confused. Always wondering, "why
me"
Jun 17, 2009 1:37 PM
Guest :
Just bought a house and 4 weeks later, I was burglarized. I had not even
finished painting the last few rooms or finished unpacking. They took
everything of value and even personal items. I hadn't had the picture done
yet because they were still packed. Four days later I installed an alarm
system in the hopes that some of my things will be replaced. The feelings
of anger, pain for the loss of heirlooms and jumping at every sound is
shattering my nerves for the last two weeks. This house will be back on the
market as soon as I finish the refurbishing. Don't know what else to do.
Aug 13, 2009 9:15 AM
Guest :
I live in a very upscale quiet neighborhood on a very remote street. It’s a
plus because it’s my little piece of sanctuary in the world, but also a
prime target for would-be burglars. I’ve had 2 different windows broken
into that were locked on 2 different occasions of which many expensive and
irreplaceable things were taken. On both occasions a crow-bar was used to
break the window locks. I’ve now replaced both sets of windows with
sturdier locks and have installed an alarm system. It has been 2 years
since the last break in and I thought, great, it worked! (I have visible
security signs in the front and back yard that light up in the evening and
stickers on all of the windows), but as of last Sunday, that all changed.
I was at home that evening on my laptop at the dining room
table when I heard a noise from the back of my home. I approached with
caution turning on all of the lights as I went. I discovered that someone
had tried to pry open yet another window in the utility room nearest the
kitchen. The moment I saw the indented marks of a crow-bar on the frame and
the screen ajar all of my anxiety returned in one moment and only one
thought echoed very loudly in my head, they’ve come back. I just don’t know
what else I can do?! I’ve reinforced all of the doors (strike plates and
strong bolts) and windows, I have an alarm system with stickers and signs
that clearly display it and yet, they still try to enter – while I am HOME
this time! That scares me even more. It seems the burglaries in my
neighborhood are getting more brazen with every one.
Now, when
I do manage to fall asleep, I’m having nightmares about people breaking in,
I have to check my entire home after coming in after work and I lay in bed
at night just listening…waiting…for it to happen again. My sanctuary is no
more and my own home is a source of anxiety. Where can I find peace and
safety I deserve, if not in my own home?!
Sep 2, 2009 6:32 AM
Guest :
My house was broken into while I ran out for an hour to run some errands. I
was being watched. They threw a large rock through the window and stole
laptops, power tools, jewelry and my son's DVDs, even cleaned out my wine
fridge. The police showed up quickly, but didn't too much. I hired a
private investigator, posted reward signs, put ads in papers and emailed
local schools, pawn shops etc. Most burglaries are not random - it is
someone you know, a neighbor, or a friend of a friend. In our case, we know
who it is, but they have not been arrested, because our stuff as never been
found. But the criminal - 30 year old crackhead son of a neighbor failed a
polygraph concerning our break-in and his parents have been covering up for
him. The states attorney even called to tell us his ex-girlfriend said it
was him - yet no stuff, no arrest.
Once you put a face on the
criminal it's easier to address the anger... we are still waiting for
justice. My 9yr. old son is suffering from trauma.
Sep 12, 2009 9:15 AM
Guest :
I bought my first home 3 weeks ago and was very excited about it. Three
days after moving in my house was robbed in broad daylight and they
literally used a cart to wheel everything of value out of my new home. I
have been so depressed and I feel embarrassed by it. I dont know why I feel
ashamed but I do. Its good to see that other people have the same reactions
and Im not alone although I wish I were, no one should have to go through
this.
I have installed a monitored security system that probably
makes Fort Knox look vulnerable. I know I went overboard but I be damned if
this will happen to me again. I live in a good neighborhood and I feel as
if someone were watching me move in. every car that passes and every person
that walks by I look at and wonder. I hate feeling this way and I hope it
passes with time.
Oct 10, 2009 7:14 PM
Guest :
I am a teacher in a city school, and my wallet was stolen right out of my
classroom this past week. During the burglary, I was right next door
talking to one of my colleagues. Normally, I carry my purse with me at all
times, but I wanted to catch my neighbor before she left for the day, and I
just didn't think about it this time. I am angry at myself for not
remembering to take my purse, and I have felt uncomfortable in my classroom
ever since this happened. The worst part for me is knowing that the person
who stole my wallet is most likely a student who sits in front of me every
single day. I am also very frustrated because I keep getting mixed
messages on how I should handle this. Some colleagues have said that I
should say something to my students because some might have some
information on who took it and be able to help me. However, others have
told me to keep my mouth shut. I have also been told that going to the
police isn't worth it because they won't be able to help that much anyway.
I have yet to speak to them, but I'm still wondering if I should. Overall, I was lucky because my wallet contained very little money and no
credit cards. I had to replace my debit card and my license, and I am
angry that I had to pay money out of my own pocket for these things. The
wallet also contained pictures and some ID cards that I cannot replace.
They weren't extremely important, but they had sentimental value. It's
been almost a week since I was robbed, and I know that people are tired of
hearing me talk about it. However, I am having a very hard time with the
fact that they're expecting me to be back to normal this quickly. I don't
know when I'll feel normal again or when I'll be able to stop thinking
about it. I believe that some closure (finding out who did it and seeing
them punished or even just having someone return the wallet) would help,
but I feel that it's doubtful I'll get any.
Dec 9, 2008
