How to Handle Emotional Trauma from a Burglary: A Home Break-in Can be Emotionally Traumatic and Scary for Victims

A home break-in can be a frightening and emotional experience for the homeowner. Emotional trauma often results from a home burglary, leaving the victim with feelings of insecurity, violation, anger and sadness.

"A burglary is a very emotionally traumatic event for the victim," explained Brett Pelletier, LICSW. "Not only is your home - your sanctuary - invaded and violated, but victims are upset that they've had their valuables stolen. Irreplaceable sentimental belongings are stolen. Your home may be ransacked and your home is usually damaged. Pets can be injured or lost during the home break-in. And essentially every home burglary victim is left wondering 'What if I was home.' It's a terrifying and unsettling experience so it's expected that there will be some emotional trauma following a break-in."

Pelletier, who specializes in counseling the victims of home break-ins and burglaries, offered the following tips for coping with the emotional trauma and distress that a burglary victim can experience.

Report the Home Break to Police

A surprising number of theft victims, burglary victims and car break victims do not report the crime to police. Many assume that there is virtually no chance that the perpetrator will be caught and most are resigned to the fact that their stolen belongings are gone for good.

"If you don't report the crime, there's a 100% chance that the person responsible for the break will not be held responsible for the crime. And there's zero chance that you'll get your belongings back. If you report the crime to police, there's at least a chance that the suspect will be identified and at least some of your stolen belongings will be recovered," Pelletier explained, adding, "Reporting the crime is also the first step toward psychological recovery from the mental trauma that burglary victims experience. You're taking a pro-active stance. You're doing something about it."

Cooperate and Help with the Police Investigation

It's also important for home burglary victims to compile a list of the stolen items, with a detailed description of each item and the estimated replacement value for each item. The sooner police receive this list, the sooner the real investigation can begin, so it's vital to provide this information within 24 hours of when the break-in is discovered.

"Many victims of home break-ins find this a very emotionally difficult process, listing and describing the items that were stolen during the burglary. You have to confront the fact that your safe zone has been violated and that your valuables and items with sentimental values have been stolen. But this confrontation is a vital first step in the healing process," Pelletier explained.

If the House Has Been Ransacked, Clean up and Rearrange

Often, burglary victims feel very violated when they discover their home has been ransacked or damaged. The process of breaking into a home and ransacking a house is a form of violation that conveys a complete disrespect for the victim's home - their private sanctuary. So it's important to clean up the home following a burglary as soon as possible; many victims find this empowering, as they are restoring order to the home in a way that counteracts those feelings of victimization.

Many home burglary victims also find it therapeutic to rearrange the furniture, to re-paint a room, or make other aesthetic changes to the home.

Pelletier explained, "Rearranging or redecorating after a home break-in helps victims to cope. The 'old' house was invaded and violated by the burglar, but this new and improved version of your home is a new environment that's untouched by the perpetrator. It's a way of reclaiming what's rightfully yours."

Improve Home Security and Take a Self-Defense Class

"One major element of the emotional trauma following a break-in involves the loss of the 'it could never happen to me' illusion. Burglary victims, victims of violent crimes and natural disasters often find it difficult to confront their new-found vulnerability. The key is to do something proactive, do something that will prevent future victimization," Pelletier recommended.

A couple of great ways to prevent future victimization involves improving home security features or taking a self-defense class. Many police departments host Rape Aggression Defense (R.A.D) System courses free of charge to members of the community. Securing the home and learning self defense methods can go a long way toward restoring a burglary victim's sense of security.

Home break-in victims may also be interested to read What to Do After a House Burglary for tips on what to do following a home burglary.

Dec 11, 2008 6:43 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

After someone broke into my apartment in the middle of the night (and I was home -- I won't go in to the gory details here!), I moved to a new place the very next day.

It may not be the most efficient or convenient way to cope with a burglary, but it helped me sleep at night!

Dec 29, 2008 4:07 AM

Guest :

How do you deal with the self-blame and shoulda coulda woulda?
Any steps I take now to protect myself seem weak and misplaced and pointless.
I'm so angry at the people who burglarized my home and I can't even imagine their faces or direct my anger toward anyone... but myself ,for leaving the blinds open and not listening to my instincts to go overboard on home security even though I live in a "good neighborhood."

Mar 3, 2009 4:09 AM

Guest :

We debated on moving, and the next day after our home was robbed, I started house shopping. I walk into my house and I can see strangers making themselves at home and stealing my things. The worst was they stole all of my daughters nintendo wii and wii fit collection... leaving her to tell me, "Momma they stole my Christmas" (she had gotten it all for christmas). But I feel like if I move, they won.

I did repaint some rooms, I scrubbed the house down from floor to ceiling (I guess I thought I was washing away their presence?) once the police gave me the O.K., and now I'm in this stage of anger. Why me, why did you steal from me, why did you destroy my house, where are your parents (we suspect they were two young kids that I saw eyeing my car... sadly I worried more about my car than the house!)

I don't sleep, when I do I have nightmares... The what ifs run through my head constantly, and then I remind myself: My kids are safe and unharmed, and our family pet (a weimaraner named Jack) is okay and still with us. We know the people that broke into our home hurt him and kicked him around as he was VERY scared to come out of the corner and by people, but a check up with the Vet revealed he was okay.

I live on a lake, when it comes down to memories of being robbed, and memories of sitting at the shoreline with my kids as we watch the waves crash over our legs... the lake and my kids win.

I'm pricing security systems, have replaced locks... but I'm still scared, and I think I will be for a long time. But I liked this article, it made me feel like maybe I wasn't crazy for repainting, washing walls, and redecorating things.
...And for now, I just feel violated, insecure, and a bit lost and confused. Always wondering, "why me"

Jun 17, 2009 1:37 PM

Guest :

Just bought a house and 4 weeks later, I was burglarized. I had not even finished painting the last few rooms or finished unpacking. They took everything of value and even personal items. I hadn't had the picture done yet because they were still packed. Four days later I installed an alarm system in the hopes that some of my things will be replaced. The feelings of anger, pain for the loss of heirlooms and jumping at every sound is shattering my nerves for the last two weeks. This house will be back on the market as soon as I finish the refurbishing. Don't know what else to do.