8 Ways to Cope With Pet Loss: Grieving a Pet Death

Grieving a pet death can be very difficult because your pet was a constant presence in your life and at home. Grieving a pet death is hard because you had a routine with your pet: feedings, walks, sitting in the lap time, favorite treats, funny quirks and tricks. Pet loss is especially painful because that bond was unique: your pet loved you unconditionally and unreservedly. Your pet was always waiting at home, excited and happy to see you.

Your pet wasn't just a dog or just a cat. Grieving a pet death is painful because your pet was part of your family. Grieving a pet death with children take takes a different dimension because you may need to help them cope with pet loss, too. Suggestions for helping your child cope with pet loss are below (letting go can be very hard).

8 Ways to Cope With Pet Loss:

Grieving a pet death with children:

When you're grieving a pet death with children, you may feel comfortable either changing your routine at home or keeping it exactly the same. There are no right or wrong ways to cope with pet loss. For instance, to cope with pet loss you may rescue a puppy or cat from an animal shelter right away. Or, you may never want a pet again. It depends on your grief process and way of coping with pet loss.

Whatever your personal coping style is, accept it and live it – and know that other people may have other ways of coping with pet loss. Be honest and open about your feelings and grief process, and let your loved ones do the same.

If you found 8 Ways to Cope With Pet Loss: Grieving a Pet Death helpful, you might be interested in:

May 7, 2008 9:31 AM

Guest :

I had to have my cat Lucky put to sleep today due to kidney failure. It appears he was poisoned by eating an indoor plant leaf. He was only 6 years old and full of life. I am devastated.
I got comfort from stroking him as he passed. He was with his mum.
I cannot explain the pain I feel, it is like my world has clouded over. Even the sun shining doesn't help.

May 14, 2008 10:29 AM

Guest :

Our little McGraw, a white and brown little jack russel ran himself to death.....He was hit by a hit and run driver and left to die on the road.....Two angels stopped and took him to the vet,,We met there and had to transport him to a vet hospital and they tried everything, blood transfusions and whatever and he died. We miss him soooooooooooo much, it hurts beyond anything........He did not need to die that way, he was only 6 years old and could have lived for another 10 years........He was the sweetest cuddliest little guy you'd ever want to meet.......He loved everyone and everyone loved him............. Paula

Aug 21, 2008 1:08 PM

Guest :

I have had my pet dog (benjamin) for 15 years. Presently, I am awaiting the arrival of my daughter to help me take him to be euthanized.

Aug 31, 2008 11:53 AM

Guest :

My sweet baby Georgie was a gorgeous 3lb Yorkshire Terrier and died of a heartattack suddenly right before his 6th birthday. The grief and saddness of such a sudden event was and still is devastating. Every day is a little better than the last but I can't imagine a day going by with out thinking of him. He was such a huge part of my life and family it's hard to cope...

Sep 4, 2008 9:39 PM

Guest :

This morining i discoverd my beloved cat who i have had for 8 years had died due to been hit by a car. I am totally devastated and have spent the day crying. The time came to dig his grave which allowed me the chance to really cry and as i placed his body into the grave i was able to say my farewells and tell him how much i appreciated his friendship and companionship over the past 8 years. It is such a sad loss and i know that i will be a long time coming before i will accept that he longer will be waiting for me in the morinings and no longer will be curled up at the foot of my bed. Rest in Peace my furry friend

Sep 14, 2008 9:43 AM

Guest :

My kitty girl was euthanized 2 days ago. The night before, she had a good night, was able to eat and snuggled under the covers all night with me. That morning, she could not eat. I knew it was coming since she had multiple problems including weight loss, kidney failure and a heart murmmer which kept us from anesthesia to fix her teeth so she could eat. They had worsened and the only option was antibiotics which we tried. That morning, we spent some time snuggling on the couch with her kitty boy. He misses her terribly too but we were fortunate to have that special time before she had to go and that I was able to give her a peaceful, painless passing. After, the vet felt a mass in her bladder which reinforced my belief that it was the right time. The ache in my heart is often unbearable. She was the kind of kitty that loved me no matter what. She never gave the me the cold shoulder or attitude. I wish all who have lost a beloved pet and the veterinary staff that may participate, comfort and understanding. I know that time will heal us and leave us only with the happy memories and love we shared with our most special friends. Thank you for this forum to express my loss.

Sep 16, 2008 5:54 PM

Guest :

My 15 year old Shih Tzu passed on Saturday. I miss her unconditional love. She was the one person (yes, person), I could always turn to to talk and get a hug. She had a wonderful life. I just hope she was not in pain in the end. I hope she knows how much she is missed. She was so smart and had such attitude! I want to get another dog, but she cannot be replaced. I did not think I would grieve like this. I dont' see me ever feeling loved again.

Sep 17, 2008 8:20 AM

Guest :

i have had my dog (sassy) for 9 years...i didnt really have many friends in school and she was always there. we are going to put her to sleep later today becasue of cancer... i dont know what to do with myself. i just dont want her to die. i cant stand to see her liying there..not moving as if waiting to die. im going to miss her so much and i will never forget her.

Sep 18, 2008 9:23 PM

Guest :

I'm looking for answers and a way to remember my best friend. She was a rescue, as all my pets are. However, "Baby Girl" was 22 years old and still active and alert. She was found in south Florida after hurricane Andrew. There is nothing like the feeling of coming home and hugging her. She was a flame tip Persian, and fit perfectly under my neck. She never meowed, or hissed and was sooo tolerant of everyone and every circumstance. She loved to ride on my shoulder in the car, rest on my arm as we looked for video's in the movie store, and was the center of attention everywhere I took her. She always let everyone pet her and she will always be my very best friend. The night time is the worst time that I miss her! For three weeks she has suffered from acute kidney failure, I have administered IV's at home, taken her to the doctor every day, as her BUN and Creatdine (?) levels continued to rise. She never lost hope, even though she lost mobility last week and most of her sight. I finally felt that I could put her to sleep two days ago, and I know this is hard to believe but she actually cried a tear. I am devasted because I can only remember her trust in me and the look in her eyes as they gave her the shot. I feel that even though I know it was best, I killed her. I can't get passed this tremendous grief. There is absolutely nothing like the feel of her hugs and kissing her on the nose. I prayed for a miracle that I never received, and I need some coping strategy to move on. Debby Tuck, Dothan, Alabama (princesspageantroom@yahoo.com)

Sep 19, 2008 7:34 PM

Guest :

I had to put my 16 year old cat Camille down this morning. She was a stray that I've had since she was 6 months old. She was my baby, she was my world, she was my everything. I can't believe how much this hurts.

Sep 19, 2008 7:40 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm so sorry about your loss. It's an awful feeling, and there really is no easy way to get over it. I've lost several cats over the years, and I remember every single one of them with a mixture of joy and pain.

You're not alone.

Sep 21, 2008 8:25 PM

Guest :

I LOST MY DOG AUTUMN ON SEPT. 19, 2008. I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! SHE HAD FLUID IN HER LUNGS AND HAD BEEN TAKING MEDICATION. HOWEVER, HER CONDITION GOT WORSE AND STARTED TO HAVE A LOT OF TROUBLE BREATHING. IN ADDITION, HER HIND LEGS GOT PARALIZED. I HAD TO MAKE THE HARDEST DECISION EVER IN MY LIFE, TO PUT HER TO SLEEP. I FEEL SO BAD BUT KNOW SHE WENT TO A BETTER PLACE. I NEED SOME COPING STRATEGIES (glorialisa@ aol.com). I MISS AUTUMN SO MUCH AND WILL NEVER FORGET HER!

Sep 22, 2008 4:47 PM

Guest :

I just lost my cat Ginger today. She was my little friend for 11 years.
I can't believe how painful it is too lose heer. She had such unconditional love. She always greeted me at the door and loved to sleep on me every night. She caught her tail in the fence in July and had to have it amputated. She lost all feelings and bladder control. She lost all of her weight down to 4 lbs. and I knew I would have to let her go eventhough I forced her to eat and gave her water by syringes and gave her diapers to wear. It was inevitable. It is so hard to lose these little creatures. I hope she is in a better place.

Sep 22, 2008 4:51 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

My condolences -- losing a pet is so hard.

I wonder if it helps to get another pet? Friends of mine just put their 13 year old dog to sleep last month, and say they don't want another dog for at least a year. Me, I love cats so much that when I lost mine, I did want another one right away.

Sep 23, 2008 7:25 PM

Guest :

My black lab, angel was put to sleep today because she had a horrible ear infection that we couldn't treat.
i've had her since i was four..so she was ten.
i haven't stopped crying since two hours ago...when i found out.

Sep 25, 2008 8:09 AM

Guest :

My cat has gone missing and I don't know what is worse, hoping and praying that he is alive, but if so where and with whom? Or thinking that he has been killed on the road and I don't know about it. He was affectionate and loving and beautiful. He would wait for me to go to bed at night and sleep on my feet and then wake me up at the right time in the morning to come downstairs. I miss him so much, he was a very vocal cat and always 'talked' to me. I don't know how to cope.

Sep 29, 2008 2:17 PM

Guest :

My black lab was put to sleep today and we had to drag him into the office, he knew it was coming, I held him in my arms as we put him down and I have had him since I was 4 or 5 years old and he was 11, even though he was young. I know I did the right thing in my heart by letting him go... I am so glad for this web site, it really helps me see that other people go through the same thing and i am not alone in this hard part in my life...

Oct 3, 2008 7:37 PM

Guest :

I had to euthanize my Lion King on Monday. (That's what I sometimes called my cat). I feel extreme emptiness and guilt. Buddy, my cat, was 15 years old, and battled asthma his whole life. Prior to Monday, Buddy had an asthma attack. The vet also diagnosed him with pneumonia. By the time Monday came around, and after many more tests, it was also discovered Buddy had heart disease. I had to make the decision as he was gasping for air in the oxygen chamber. He was my everything!!! I miss him pressing his head on my head in the morning. I miss watching him sleep. I miss him getting excited for his favorite treat. Will this pain and guilt ever go away?! I miss him sooo much!!!!!

Oct 3, 2008 7:41 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I think the pain and guilt (I feel it too, for 2 of my past cats!) does eventually fade......but maybe never goes completely away. That's part of giving your heart to a sweet, unconditionally loving cat or dog...the horrible pain of loss.

Oct 4, 2008 8:57 PM

Guest :

I lost my baby Philly on Oct. 1,2008. He was attacked by 2 dogs who were let out by their owner to run free at night. My lil yorkie was only a year old. he was my best friend. Now I feel devastated. He had a broken spine, his 2 back legs were paralized! He had to let him go to stop his suffering. I am having such a hard time coping with his loss. I am so upset that animal control will not take these dogs. They bit several people and now killed my dog! He was my everything. Having him since he was 2 months made him my baby. I will always have him in my heart. And love him forever. Philly I will always love you.

Oct 7, 2008 8:06 AM

Guest :

My Cindy was 13 years old. She was the best dog in the whole world. She was kind, gentle, loving, and never complained. We found out suddenly she had a tumor on her spleen that took up 2/3 of her abdomen that could rupture at any moment. Iknew something was wrong when she suddenly lost her appetite and didn't greet us at the door.

It was the hardest decision we ever made but knew it was the right one. She died peacefully yesterday at the Vet's office. We all miss her dearly.

Oct 14, 2008 9:06 AM

Guest :

Yesterday afternoon at 3:00 p.m., my son and I had to make the hardest decision of our lives. Our 14 1/2 year old daucshund, Opi, had to be put to sleep. He had Cushings Disease and it was only getting worse, even on his medication. On top of that he had severe arthritis. Seeing those big brown eyes looking at me while the turnicate was placed for the shot, like he was saying, "help me, why are you letting them do this to me." It was horrible, I don't ever want to experience that again. He fought for a while after the injection, that was the worst. He was so much more than a family pet, he was our constant love, no matter what we did, he was always happy to see us. We will miss our little Opi, always, he was such a good and faithful friend, may he rest in peace. jhowell-louisiana

Oct 14, 2008 7:39 PM

Guest :

My darling Toby 1 year and 1 month old gorgeous boxer died last night of a severe seizure and heart attack.. It all happened so fast. It was the worst night of our life to watch him die, and to feel so helpless. He was our baby, my mother protector/shadow, my best friend and my father's first dog love. Our house feels empty and hollow, we cant seem to stop crying and seeing him everywhere. He was the first dog from all we've had we have developed such a close bond with. He was THE most important member of our family.. My mother cant sleep nor stop thinking.. we hope our healing would start, while our beautiful memories live forever.

Nov 1, 2008 8:07 PM

Guest :

I lost my pets to a break up. They did not die, but it feels like they died. I am having the hardest time letting them go. I dont think I can. Maybe I will learn to accept this and move on.

Nov 10, 2008 8:39 AM

Guest :

Friday my sister was let her dog out as she does every day. She ran after a bird, turned around when my sister yelled to her, and dropped over. My sister gave her CPR and mouth to snout, to no avail. Her 7 year old friend, who she spent every day with, had died. My heart is hurting for her, she is in such pain right now. All I can do is be here if she needs me....she will heal in her own time....someday she will appreciate all the time she had with her dog, but today....she is mourning. Please include JoAnne and Ginger in your prayers today. I greatly appreciate it.

Nov 15, 2008 7:10 AM

Guest :

Precious, "Nell" gone one week ago today. Emergency trip to the Vet.was the last. Cancer, of the lymph nodes, enlarged spleen and low blood count. Breathing was labored. I am crushed. Sweet Sheltie.

Dec 4, 2008 10:26 AM

Guest :

I had to puy my dog down yesterday after 12 years of having him...The pain is beyond anything I can explain. I can't believe I am not going to see him again and it hurts just so bad. I haven't slept and just cry all the time..My heart is heavy and I feel a huge void in my life now. I feel so much guilt over this and I think about where he is and if he knew what has happened...he was so loving to me and was the greatest dog you could ask for. I lost both of my beloved dogs in the past year and I can't imagine opening my heart to another dog now.

Dec 4, 2008 10:29 AM

Guest :

Dec 6, 2008 5:45 AM

Guest :

i have lost my ginne pig i loved him so much and its been a year i dont cry as much as i used to but i still remeber him and i still shear a tear every once and a while but how i got over him was so hard but i did it i just kept thinking that he was here i can still hear him playing with his ball and i just smile i love him so much but try and talk to your friends about it and just have a good time u will soon be like me!!

Dec 14, 2008 5:12 AM

Guest :

Nell has been gone over a month and I can't stop crying. I, am numb with grief. Thought I, had cried myself dry but not so. Nell and Ginger gave me a reason for living. Now, there is Ginger and me. I, have no human family. How can I hurt so and keep on going?

Dec 14, 2008 7:54 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

It may be too early -- but have you thought about getting another pet? Maybe if you went to your local animal shelter and saw some of the animals that need homes, you might be able to help a dog or cat and help yourself at the same time....

The only thing that takes the pain away is time, and even then the pain doesn't always go away for good! Coping iwth pet loss is just a hard thing, and there's no easy solution.

Dec 15, 2008 5:20 AM

Guest :

I lost my beautiful, sweet Himalayan kitty, Jazz a month ago. She was a rescue baby, and we were given the gift of 11 years with her. She was in renal failure, and in spite of the best vet care, she died in my arms a month ago. She was my "best friend", always with me through the good times and the bad, and I can't find the words to describe the void her passing has left. We have another kitty, who continues to search the house and cry mournfully. My husband and I are trying to deal with our grief and we don't know how to console our remaining kitty, Sneaky. We've tried extra play, extra love and treats and nothing seems to help him. Our hearts are broken with the loss of Jazz and the grief from Sneaky.

Dec 22, 2008 9:29 AM

Guest :

We are having to put our Min. Schnauzer, Emma, down after almost 11 years tomorrow morning. She developed an enlarged heart 5 months ago, and has been on several meds to help control fluid build up...etc. This disease is winning! Meds don't work anymore, and she is having multiple seizures a day from poor cardio system. Her quality of life has gotten worse and worse over the last several months. To make matters worse my family is going on a Disney Cruise on Saturday, 5 days away..and we were forced with decision to board her, shots...etc. Or take the chance now and stop this disease on our terms instead of her passing away in the kennel or in a couple months in front of our kids. This sucks!

Jan 3, 2009 10:01 PM

Guest :

Why do dogs have short life span? Why do we hurt so deeply when they pass away so sudden and unexpected? I don't understand. I just lost my first owned and bonded dog without seing it coming. I'm blaming myself for it and it's killing me. Sodapop, one-of-a-kind pekingese, had a seizure and just collapsed in the hand of the vet. She was the cutest dog I've ever seen. I'll always remember her and miss her. Part of me feel dead since New Years Day. I'm afraid I won't snap out of it, ever. Reading the above steps in coping with loss isn't helping me. I can't wait to be with her again when my time is up.

Jan 3, 2009 10:13 PM

Guest :

Jan 9, 2009 3:07 PM

Guest :

My family & I had to make the hardest decision yesterday. We had to euthanize our 4 month old kitty , Pixie.She was having seizures the night before due to Her kidneys & liver failing. Ive been crying non stop the past couple of days.It feels like the pain & heartache will never go away. All The Guilt is really getting to me. Especially because the vet wouldnt let us see her before she put her to sleep. All i keep thinking about is pixie must of thought we abandoned her there & that we didnt love her. I miss her soo much.... brought me some comfort from reading all of the other comments & to know im not alone.

Jan 16, 2009 5:56 AM

Guest :

i had to put my scotty terrier molly to sleep she died from a spleem tumor which we did not know she had we took her to get her teeth cleaned that is when we found out she was going to die so quick wh had to put her to sleepa day before thanksgiving nov 26 2008 we miss her so much i cant understand why she died she was 9 years old she had everything closed in yard closed in patio she never ate dog food only real food so why did she died it is so hard i dont think i could ever replace her she was the best loved clothes so if anyone knows why they get cancer please let me know denise

Jan 23, 2009 3:07 PM

Guest :

my pet nickie who was a shitzu had to be put to sleep because he was dying of cancer and was in terrible pain. I did not want to do this and now I feel guilty of doing that. My family keeps telling me that was the humane thing to do. I hope I can deal with this.

Jan 24, 2009 7:45 AM

Guest :

Just lost my cat toby yesterday, he was my best friend its really hurt and cannot understand why he died only after one day of illness he was just 8 yrs old. My daughter is beside herself with grief we cried so much our heart is broken its ached. I love you toby forever in my heart you now with lady my lab who died 4 yrs ago, for ever in my heart too god bless xxxx

Feb 3, 2009 6:17 PM

Guest :

I lost my baby a week ago. He was a beautiful Collie. He had such an amazing personality and his death has been so devistating to our family. My mother cannot even look at his picture without bursting into tears. When I pray tonight, I will include you all in my prayers. I know the pain you're feeling. In memory of my baby, I will adopt a pet from the pound. I could not save my Toby's life, but I can save another animal's life. I hope that you will all consider doing the same when you are ready. God's little angels need our help.

Feb 18, 2009 11:39 AM

Guest :

My mom just lost her dog Jasmine today. It has been just devesating for the both of us and I unfortunatly live out of state and was unable to be there. She was only 8 yrs old and she was fine last week but over the weekend she got sick and they found out she had Megaesophagus. We were optomistic but when my mom took her to NC State Vet Hospital her condition worsened and she had to put her to sleep. My mom loved her sooo much and she helped my mom get through so much. I just feel so sad that when I go home to visit she will not be there. I will never forget her.

Feb 21, 2009 2:22 AM

Guest :

I lost my little chihuahua tuesday 2-17-09 morning after taking her out to pottie as a part of our everyday routine. My partner, myself and her little companion (lilu) went outside to pottie and run as we made our way back to our apartment upstairs with a blink of an eye she looked back at us, tripped and fell from the top flight of the stairs. I paniced and ran to her, picked her up and rushed to to the vet... After waiting anxiously and hoping for hope I was told my "little girl" had passed. Since then I have been hurting so bad, I feel as if someone ripped my heart out. I don't know how to cope with this since this is my first time of ever loosing a companion that I shared every day and minute of my time with. I miss her so much it hurts...

Mar 24, 2009 6:22 PM

Guest :

We are grieving the loss of our oldest dog, a mixed Basset named Daisy. She has been steadily loosing health for about 2 weeks, until the point she was miserable and hardly able to move, so sadly, we finally put her down today. Her little simple funeral was this evening just before dark and her grave is here on the farm. Words were spoken and tears were shed over her.
She was a rescue dog that my wife brought home from Rock Ridge Pet Store about 17 years ago.
When we get a dog, we know we will most likely outlive it and we will experience sorrow when it dies, but as Shakespere said: "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
If you have ever lost a pet, you can understand the sadness we feel when we come home and Daisy isn't there to greet us. We will truly miss her

Apr 6, 2009 8:55 PM

Guest :

I had to put my dog (Murphy)to sleep on Thursday. I had her since I was 2years old (I'm 18 now) and it hurts soooooooooooooooooooo bad. She would have been 17yrs old this year. She was my very best friend and I miss her so much. Murphy was ALWAYS there for me no matter what. I could tell her EVERYTHING and know that my secret will ALWAYS be safe with her. I know that she never judge me, and that she loved me no matter what I did. Words can't even BEGIN to explain how much this pain hurts. I feel that nobody around me REALLY feels what I'm going through. They have sympathy for me, but not empathy and it's just really hard not having nobody to relate to me. I know Murphy is in a better place now and she will be TRULY missed by me FOREVER!!! She is the reason why I love animals so much and why I want to become a Vet. I love Murphy always and forever, she was my friend, my best fried, my sister, my heart.
R.I.P. Murphy!!!!!! <3

Apr 8, 2009 8:44 AM

Guest :

I lost my handsome cat on sunday he died in my arms. he had cancer.
and i miss so terribly. it hurts so bad.

lots of people are telling me to get a kitten to help with the pain?
will it help do you know? and i just feel bad even considering getting a new. :(

Apr 8, 2009 8:56 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

For some people, coping with pet loss is easier when they get a new dog or cat....and other people vow that they'll never get a new pet.

It's such an individual thing, I don't think anyone can tell you for sure that it'll help you get over your lost cat. Perhaps you could go to an animal shelter, and see how you feel when you get there.

It's okay to not be ready to get a new pet yet -- and to just be open to getting one later, after you've mourned. You need to trust your instincts, and do what feels best for you.

Apr 8, 2009 8:58 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I forgot to say how sorry I am for you! Having your cat die in your arms would be very painful -- I know it would break my heart.

I'm sorry for your loss. It's a huge one, and sometimes just sitting with it (and not getting a new kitten right away) is the best way to cope -- and to honor your cat's memory.

Apr 17, 2009 10:20 PM

Guest :

I lost my dog JJ shortly before Christmas '07 and I still find myself crying over his loss on a regular basis. He was only 4 but had severe stranger anxiety that just kept getting worse until he finally bit a UPS man. Our vet believes that JJ, who we rescued from a shelter when he was 2, was simply taken from his mother too soon and the psychological damage was too great to be fixed. He was my constant shadow during a very dark period of my life and I still feel a void without him. I feel guilty because I wonder if there was more I should've done, if I had just tried a litte harder to fix him...but I have to remind myself that he's in a better place, where he's not weighed down by anxiety or fear anymore.

I'll never forget the night he passed- I had held it together during the day but that night I completely fell apart and was laying on JJ's bed with his toys and blanket, just sobbing. My roomates' dog, who was JJ's bestfriend, came into the room. He was normally pretty high-strung but he simply laid down beside me with his head next to mine as if to grieve with me. Animals are amazing, loyal, and forgiving creatures who deserve so much more than their short time on earth.

Apr 21, 2009 9:51 PM

Guest :

I recently lost my 3 year old dachshund Sissy. She was my heart and soul.
She would sit with my husband on his lap and sit in our desk chairs in the evenings when we sat in our office. We miss her so much and wish that she could still be with us. She loved to go with us, and always preferred to go on car rides. The days doesn't seem the same without her here with us. But I know, deep in my heart, that she is looking down for Doggie Heaven, and smiling and saying Mommy don't cry, One day you will see me again.

May 12, 2009 9:44 PM

Guest :

My dog of almost 13 years died last week. It is a painful loss. I'm just glad I said my "thank you" & "goodbyes" just 24 hours earlier. That's really what is pulling me through these days following. His cremated remains are with me now with a very happy photo accompanying it. I won't ever forget the joy he gave me.

May 13, 2009 2:16 PM

Guest :

my cat died 4 years ago still hurts some times its the guilt about if i put her to sleep to early, i have two new kittys now i think when a new pet falls ill it brings all the feeings back.

May 15, 2009 9:52 AM

Guest :

My cat BEAUTIFUL died earlier as she was crossing the road i saw her get hit and nor did the car stop to apologize . I ran out to the road quickly and picked her up as she was purring as a sign as which i believe was because i was holding her in my arms . I really need some advice on how to cope with it i saw he earlier in the neighbors yard if i would of only went and got her she would be ok and with me now . This is the worst i have ever been in a while since family members have passed. Please give me advice. hopeful.

May 15, 2009 12:48 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm so sorry that you lost Beautiful that way. That's painful -- but at least you were there at the end! She was purring because she was happy that you were there to hold her.

It's not your fault -- it was an accident. It's so easy to blame ourselves when our pet dies, but we have to accept that sad, bad accidents happen no matter how well we take care of our cats or dogs. Please don't add guilt to your feelings of loss....you didn't know she would get hit.

To cope with pet loss, some people get a new cat or dog right away. Others wait a few months or a year....you just have to decide what feels right for you.

And, let yourself grieve. Don't listen to people who say "it's just a cat"! Our pets are MORE than just animals, and we need to grieve them fully. Give yourself time to get over her - it won't happen overnight.

Thanks for sharing your story, and come back anytime to let me know how you are.

Laurie

May 16, 2009 11:12 AM

Guest :

Thank You Laurie well its a little better today but the guilt always sets in guess that's what everyone tends to do . I was wondering if you believe in Pet Psychics and who would be a good one to talk to . Any advice helps. thanks so much for you support.

May 17, 2009 6:28 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I don't know about pet psychics....I suggest waiting for a couple of months before you decide to spend money on something like that. You're in a vulnerable, sad frame of mind because of your cat's -- and you could end up spending money on something that may not be helpful or even real.

What would be your purpose in going to a pet psychic? That is, what do you hope to get out of it?

May 28, 2009 8:52 AM

Guest :

My family and I are trying to cope with the sudden death of our 8-year- old Weimaraner, Jewel. She was killed on Memorial Day. Jewel ran out of the drive way, which is something she rarely does, and was hit by a car. I can't even begin to explain the devastation we feel. She was a present to my younger brother in 2000, but she quickly became the family dog. She was very loyal to us all, but especially loyal to him, and he was loyal to her as well. He lay in the street right beside her, rubbing her belly as she passed away.
I feel such guilt because I feel like we should have kept a better eye on her, and this is our weekend home so I think about what would have happened had we not even brought her there that weekend. I feel anger at the driver who hit her but she is 16-years-old and shaken up by the whole thing. I feel like their is such a void and I see it when I look at the sadness in the eyes and on the faces of my family. I can tell when the bell rings and there is no barking, no pitter patter around the house. I can feel the pain when my 4-year-old neice,who was there at the time of the accident, says, "Jewel ran in the street and got hit by a car, but she's in the hospital so she's gonna be okay!"
I have been searching sites on how to cope and I am trying to come to terms with the fact that this incident was an accident and is a process of grieving and it will take time. It is just so hard, but I try to find comfort in knowing that we provided her with an amazing life. My brother requested she get cremated. We will have her ashes blessed and then decide what to do. We miss her so very deeply.

May 28, 2009 11:40 AM

Guest :

I just lost my 12 yr old dog named nikita... At first the vet said she had lost bone mass. Then she got a shot of something and she seemed back to normal. A couple days later she stopped eating drinking not even goin to the bathroom. It was devastating.. We took her back to the vet where he drew blood and said she was anemic. Gave her more medicine but it was too late. My parents took her to the vet yesterday and she started to bleed in the car and then passed away in the waiting room... The last time i dealt with death from a pet i was like 10 and im now 24 and it just seems so hard... But its life and we all go through with it so i know im not alone and im thankful that i have great friends and family who care and can support me. But i just wish i could have had 3 more years with her. So with my other 2 animals im making it the best i can with them... Thank You.. I feel a little better now.

Jun 3, 2009 6:10 PM

Guest :

My 28 year old horse, Smokey, had what we think was a stroke a few days ago. He was beautiful - big and black - and I showed him for almost 15 years. I got him when he was two, so I've had him for 26 years. When I got my teaching job and then had kids, it reduced the time I could spend with him. I paid a fortune for his glucosamine, chiropracty treatments, and board bill, but I am devastated with guilt. I feel like I did not see him enough. He died right before summer vacation - the time when I could spend the most time with him. It took 3 shots to get him to pass. His back end would not move. I loved him dearly. I only hope he knows that I made sure he had the best care even when I couldn't be there. I did see him that morning and groomed him. I haven't been able to ride him for years as he had terrible arthritis. I sure hope there is heaven for angels like him.

Jun 12, 2009 8:19 AM

Guest :

we just had to put our 15 year old dog, fred to sleep this morning.. his back legs just wouldnt work anymore. 15 years very old for a large dog, but his big, sweet, strong heart just wanted to keep going. his body just failed him. life just wont be the same. they say the greatest pain is losing a child, and wow this must be equal to it...rest in peace fred. i love you and miss you always

Jun 19, 2009 6:56 AM

Guest :

My son, Euro, an 11 years old Bangkaew Thai dog passed away this morning. It has been devastrating for me and my family. He had a huge tumor that we didnt discover until a very last moment. Ha has been a brave brave dog and fought until he died. He had tuat tumor, blood parasite and pneumonia at the same time. I understand all your sorrow and I'll never forget my Euro. I'm a Buddhist and I hope that somedays he returns as my biological son. He has all the quality to be a great man. I love him so much.

Jun 21, 2009 6:07 AM

Guest :

My 15-year-old dog, Bingo, had to be put to sleep yesterday. It was unbelievably difficult - I've had my dog since I was 11 years old. But Bingo lost a lot of weight, stopped barking, and stopped eating the last day of his life. I know he's in a better place, but I can't stop crying. I want to remember the good memories, and not the last memory of the dog being put to sleep.

-Carmen

Jun 24, 2009 11:46 PM

Guest :

Our dog, Little Girl, unexpectedly came into our lives on Saturday February 24, 2007 when someone abandoned her near some railroad tracks in Beaumont, Ca. Yesterday, we took her for her daily walk in the park and she was stung by a bee. She immediately began vomiting and we took her to the vet, who diagnosed her w/ Anaphylaxis Shock, which attacks the vital organs. The vet did everything he could to save her but she died anyway. Little Girl brought us two years and four months of pure love, joy and happiness. She never expected anything in return; only that she be with us all the time. Her love for us was unconditional as was ours for you. Little Girl even had a sense of humor because she would take our socks from our hands when we tried to put them on, so we wouldn’t leave. She had the funniest bark; she sometimes sounded like a cat when she howled. On Wednesday June 23, 2009, she left us as unexpectedly as she came into our lives. We will miss her so much and will never get over it. My wife and I are sooooooo sad. Nothing seems to take the pain away. I equate the pain with the loss of a child or loved one. Please pray for our hearts to mend. Our prayers are with those that are grieving the loss of their pet.

Jul 9, 2009 3:08 PM

Guest :

Minxy(formerly Jinxy), my Siamese had to get put down about a week ago. He had problems with his stomach and he lost a dangerous amount of weight. He was a young cat with a lot of life left in him. It's still hard not too forget.

Jul 11, 2009 3:27 PM

Guest :

We had to have our wonderful shih tzu euthanized this week. It was the most difficult decision but we knew it was the best decision as she had been ill for several weeks. She lost a lot of weight and for the last week did not eat and was unable to keep down any water. We miss her so very much as she has been with us for 13 years. It is comforting to read of others who have gone through this loss. It will be a long time before we get another pet as no other pet can replace her.

Jul 13, 2009 7:28 PM

Guest :

I lost my 5 year old yellow lab, golden retriever mix yesterday he died of a heart attack. He died in my bedroom on my bed. I sat there helplessly watching him die right in front of me nothing I could do for my faithful companion aero. He used to follow my family around so much we nick named him our shadow. It took him 14 minutes until he died and he suffered through every minute of it. I felt so helpless just sitting there knowing that there was nothing that I could do. He died at 10:30 at night so his dead body sat in our living room for almost 18 hours and I am not ashamed to say that I sat there with him and cried every minute of it before we finally took him to be cremated. It was horrible to look into his cold dead eyes, and run my fingers over his cold stiff dead body. I know that he was the world to me and my other dog who’s friend is now gone. It was hard to watch my other dog a beagle to sniff and look at his friend until he figured out that he was dead. I will never be the same. My beagle curled up next to my loved and now deceased aero and he and I slept there with him. I will never be the same now.........I remember all of the good times, and I more than anything want to see him smiling at me. I know that he has gone on to a better place and that he will be very much missed. I loved like a son and a brother and I will never let him die in my heart. You will always be my special first pet .This letter is in dedication to you aero I LOVE YOU..................................

Jul 13, 2009 8:54 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it must be, and how much pain you're in.

In deep sympathy,
Laurie

Jul 20, 2009 8:37 PM

Guest :

We lost both our 2 1/2 year old cats, Uggo and Jake. They were siblings, and had such a great life with us. They were the best cats, so many adorable quirks. We loved them with all of our hearts. Jake started vomiting and stopped eating and drinking. We exhausted every avenue to figure out what was wrong, and a week and a half later he died after much hospitalization. I got to be with him at the end before it happened. I had to bring in Uggo because on that day she started showing the same symptoms he had. The doctors put her on fluids and were hopeful they could beat it in her, but her lungs filled and breathing became very hard for her over the night. The next morning I was with her when she was put to sleep. Before each died I told them over and over how much I loved them and held them. They were so perfect. We did everything possible to keep them alive, but we do not know what caused them to pass away. All I know is that I loved them so much, and I miss them more than I can say. When we are ready for a new pet we know we will feel better for helping another animal who needs us, but no matter how much time passes by I will never forget how sweet Uggo and Jake were or just how much they meant to me. I would have them all over again, even knowing what would happen in the end. I only hope that they enjoyed every moment of their lives before they grew sick. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a pet. You are not the only one hurting. In many ways our pets are better "people" than most humans. They certainly have the best hearts and spirits. I hope that we all heal. Our pets would want us to be better just like we wish they were better. They have gone on to something where they can never grow ill or suffer. My friends told me that our cats are up in heaven telling all of the other cats how good they had it with us, and that we loved them with our whole hearts. I hope all your hearts feel better soon along with ours. Best wishes and condolences to you. We know they loved us and we loved them.

Jul 21, 2009 6:11 PM

Guest :

I bought a mini dachshund puppy in March and brought her home in June. I had waited almost a decade to get a dog and I was so happy to finally have Penelope home with us. I loved her instantly and felt such a connection to her...It's amazing to me how pets can erase a bad day and make you smile when nothing else I can. I came home Monday over lunch to find her dead in her cage - she accidentally hung herself. I feel so responsible for it. I only had her for such a brief period but loved her as though I had her for a lifetime. I am struggling greatly with this loss since we only had her for a short period of time. I miss her so much already.....She had such a great personality and I didn't know that morning it would be the last time I would kiss her little cheeks.

Jul 23, 2009 2:02 PM

Guest :

i read all your comments. i put my cat to sleep a week ago. it 's tearing me up inside but i'm glad to know that i'm not alone in my sadness. i just dont know what to do because she was my little girl.

Aug 16, 2009 5:31 PM

Guest :

Our dog Amber passed away at the vet's office during surgery this past Wednesday. She was a gorgeous chow shepherd mix 12 years old. We loved her so much and I cannot stop crying reading everyone's statements and hearing how much they hurt. She was such a loved member of the family and I cannot bear knowing that I will never see her again. Her presence in our lives was so strong. She was such a good good dog. Our hearts are broken. I suppose it makes sense that when when you love deeply you grieve deeply.

Sep 5, 2009 1:50 AM

Guest :

Sadly i had to have my beautiful Golden Retriever Jack euthanized today. Just 2 days after noticing he was sick. I've had him since i was 15 (im 26 now) and i'm feeling absolutely gutted. I know he had a good life but i miss him so much.

RIP Jacky boy

http://www.hostmyjpg.com/i/944847445_Jack & Mark.jpg

Sep 5, 2009 11:55 PM

Guest :

my tiny little one died early thursday morning. I was with her the whole night because i could tell she was sick, but I could tell it was her time to go and let it happen. i was petting her head as she took her last breaths. She was 18 years old and the cuddliest little one you could imagine. she followed me around the house meowing for food and had the energy of a kitten, but her kidneys have been failing for a while. I just feel really alone...she made my house a home and i miss her very much. she was a 5 lb little thing and had cat food breath all the time. Even that is adorable to me bc i love her very much.

Sep 16, 2009 2:18 PM

Guest :

I lost my dog 9 1/2 year old Jack yesterday, Its so hard because he was truly a member of the family. Whenever he walked into a room he was greeted by anyone in it, or when someone came in the house he would be right there to greet them, I cant even go into to the greatest detail on how much he was loved by everyone one. It is torture for me to think about the last time I saw him as he left the house. I miss him so much, will always be in my heart.

Oct 2, 2009 4:40 PM

Guest :

Please consider yourselves lucky to have had many happy years with your departed pets. Last Sunday, my sweet little Reese, who graced me with her adorable presence for a very short 2 months was brutally attacked and killed by a dog 20 times her size. She was scared out of her mind the last few moments of her short life and died in my arms while i could do nothing to help her. Reese, I miss you so so so sooooo much and will never forget you. I hope you find peace and Meekah to keep you company in heaven. I'll cuddle you when I get there.

Oct 3, 2009 7:39 AM

Guest :

I had to put my 12 year old miniature poodle Webster to sleep on September 9. He somehow came down with an awful illness called Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia. He fought the fight for his life but either the illness or the strong medications were just too much for him to survive. He loved people more than other dogs and was adored by everyone who he came in contact with. He loved going to agility every week and going for long walks in the neighborhood.
My wife and I have been devastated since his untimely passing. Webster will be missed tremendously.

Oct 9, 2009 6:51 AM

Guest :

I had to put my little Lucy down yesterday...She was the best cat that I could ever have, I cant put it into words the love that we shared and the way she was part of my family. She was only 5 years old and go suddenly sick with kidney failure. The vet said that it was a chronic disease and there was no way to stop is because she was born with it. I brought her into the vet yesterday at 8:20 am thinking that it would be something simple - like she had a bug or something. Only to have to go back at 2 to put her to sleep. I brought her treats and gave her about 20 before it happend.. It made it so hard because at that time she was my Lucy so happy meowing and full of life. Not the sick Lucy she had become.... I am trying to tell my self that is a good thing she left feeling so happy and loved. While it happend I was petting her and telling her how much I love her, and then she was gone
I feel like my heart is broken.. I honestly dont know what to do... i still feel like at any moment she will come into the room. My house feels so empty and i feel so lost
Anyone have any advice on what helped them get throgh a time like this? I know that it is different for everyone, but how do I make this hurt stop?!

Oct 9, 2009 8:37 AM

Guest :

My 9 yr. old cat, Joe never returned home this past Wednesday. He was always good about coming when you called him. He was an indoor/outdoor cat. I feel so sad and have been crying each day. He was such a good cat always being around when I would be working in the flower beds. He would come and sit by me or rub against my legs. It hurts to see the chair that he would sleep in during the day. We had Joe since my son was 9 and daughter was 12. They are now 18 and 21. I keep having bad thoughts about what may have happened to him. My husband encourages me to think someone found him and now he's with another family that will love him. My gut feeling doesn't tell me that. I know in time this will be easier but right now it really hurts.

Oct 9, 2009 9:07 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I'm so sorry about your pet loss. It's heartbreaking -- I know.

To learn how other people cope, please read my “Tips for Coping When Your Dog Dies” article on Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals. I can’t post links here, but if you Google that exact phrase (or copy and paste it into any search engine), you’ll find the article. Don’t forget about the reader comments – readers have offered many good tips for dealing with pet loss grief.

And, I just wrote a quick post for my Psychology blog about pet loss, called “Articles About Pet Loss Grief.” There, I list several articles about dealing with different aspects of pet loss – such as guilt about putting your dog or cat to sleep, or grieving pet loss over the holidays.

To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Articles About Pet Loss Grief” – it’s in the October, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope this helps a little.

Laurie

Oct 9, 2009 10:16 PM

Guest :

I put my beautiful Pyranese Mountain dog, Humphrey Bogart to sleep yesterday. It is one of the hardest things I ever had to do. He was 15 y/o and we were together for 13 years. I did the best I could for him and gave him all the love I had. I know I kept him with me as long as I could but I still was not ready to part with him. It was a slow decline but the last few days of his life he deteriorated very quickly and I am still in shock. I am also feeling some guilt because I was not the last person he say before his injection and that really bothers me. How could I after all, he was there for me! Part of me wants to just run out and get another puppy but I can't due to circumstances beyond my control which makes this whole process much harder.

Oct 10, 2009 8:19 PM

Guest :

It's was two weeks ago today that my Levi was thrown in the air by a hit and run driver. I had him off leash. He was on the sidewalk close to my house. I was trying to get him back on leash and truck was speeding by. We had been attending our second set of obedience classes together. I know I wasn't the best mommy, but he did not deserve to get thrown 12 ft in the air. The truck must have been going between 50-55 mph in a 35 mph zone. Levi was only 2.5 yrs. He should have had the opportunity to live much longer. I can't help but see his body summersaulting in the air. I couldn't save him. I could only hold him and tell him that I loved him as he passed. My heart is heavy with anger and guilt. He deserved so much more. I don't even remember him stepping off the sidewalk. He wasn't in the middle of the road. There is no shoulder. The truck was so close and driving so fast. I failed my baby Levi.

Oct 10, 2009 9:56 PM

Guest :

my DOG TYRENT WAS A HUSKY AND HAD CANCER I PUT HIM DOWN TODAY IT REALLY HURTS I CRY SO MUCH. HE WAS 7 I ALREADY MISS HIM. I AM CRYING RIGHT NOW. BUT I KNOW HE COULD NOT SUFFER ANYMORE. SOMETIMES DOING THE RIGHT THING HURTS.

Oct 17, 2009 12:12 PM

Guest :

I just lost my sweet frenchie Marley she was hit by a car 3 days ago I have cried myself to sleep ever since it happened. I am going to miss her so much. She was such an amazing puppy. I am so lucky to have had her in my life for 1 year she made me so happy and I know we made her happy.I love you stinky love.

Oct 17, 2009 9:33 PM

Guest :

I lost my friend (cat) today. It was so awful. I will be haunted forever. I won't have anyone to play with at night after everyone has gone to bed. I just can't bear the thought of getting another cat and lose it as well. I am trying to replace his distraught face with the one I loved so much but all I can see is the way he looked in his last hours.

Oct 26, 2009 1:02 PM

Guest :

I accidentally ran over my toy poodle, Kuro. . .And I've had him since he was 6 weeks old. . I was the only mother he knew, and to me he wasn't my dog he was my KID, my BABY. . He would've been two years old on his birthday soon, November 16th. I feel so guilty. . I had to go to the doctor and get pills for myself. . This happened yesterday, Sunday, Oct. 25th. So I know it's going to take a while. . .I ran over to him and I held him. . I looked at him and screamed and screamed, afraid. He looked at me and blinked one final time and then he died. . I knew he was gone. We buried him under the Oak tree and oh God I don't know how I'm going to deal with this. . If only one simple thing could change about that situation I'd have my baby here with me, cuddling him. . But instead I'm constantly toppled over grieving and screaming and crying. . My mother had to make me take my pills the doctor gave me. . I continued to cry hysterically for 45 more minutes, hyperventilating and shaking all over and whatnot. . (I've been having a lot of panic attacks) And then I calmed down and fell asleep. I woke up and I feel better but I still feel terrible. . It still hurts. I can't bring myself to get rid of his things, I have to keep them.

Oct 26, 2009 1:29 PM

Guest :

I just put my 7 month old chihuahua sam to sleep today due to parvo beyond treatment i miss him so much I just wish i could have him back i loved him so much

Oct 26, 2009 1:59 PM

Guest :

Hi, this is me. . Again, the one who said she ran over her dog and has been hyperventilating. For the record I want to say that he was sooo full of love and life. . When I saw him I knew that he HAD to be the one that I needed. . The other one was calmer, he was more hyperactive. . But he was also full of so much more love and life than the other one. . The first time I held him he licked me and loved me. . And I knew I had to be this baby's mommy. . I just lost my baby and it's MY fault. . I don't know what to do :( I'll never get over him, and I'll never get rid of his things. Oh God, I don't know what to do. . .

Oct 26, 2009 7:44 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi,

I’m so sorry about your accident with your toy poodle. I can’t imagine how much pain you’re going through – I know I’d be devastated. My heart breaks for you.

I hope you can forgive yourself and not beat yourself up. It was an accident – you’d never do anything on purpose to hurt Kuro. It was a terrible accident, and I hope that one day you can realize that you didn’t do anything wrong. It was terrible, horrible timing. If you knew what was going to happen, you would have done things differently…but there was nothing you could do.

I wrote a blog post called “Help for Coping With and Grieving Dog or Cat Loss” that you might find helpful. There’s a link to an article there, called “4 Ways to Cope With the Guilt of Your Pet's Death”, which might be especially helpful.

That blog post lists links to articles about grieving the loss of your dog. To get to my Psychology blog, just click on my name in blue at the top of this page, then click on "Read Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen's blog" on the right side. Scroll down to “Help for Coping With and Grieving Dog or Cat Loss” – you’ll also find it in the Oct, 2009 section on the side panel.

I hope this helps a little, and I’m so sorry for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please feel free to come back and share about Kuro anytime, either here or on any of the article about pet loss.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Oct 26, 2009 7:46 PM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Also, to the guest above, I'm so sorry about Sam. Putting your pet to sleep is very sad, and it takes alot of time to get used to not having him around. My sympathies and condolences and prayers are with you, too.

Best wishes,
Laurie

Oct 27, 2009 11:18 PM

Guest :

Thanks Laurie. . By the way my name is Lauren and. . . . It's been 3 days since Kuro died, but I still cry sometimes and I'm just so angry. . Also I keep hyperventilating and feel as if I'm having a panic attack. . And now my speech is starting to mess up really bad when I get really stressed out and I can't stop stammering. . . . And I just feel really anxious and lonely and depressed. :( Is this normal?

Oct 28, 2009 2:49 AM

Guest :

My sleep pattern is all messed up, too. It's 2:32 AM.

Oct 28, 2009 7:57 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Hi Lauren,

I can’t say with certainty if what you’re going through is normal – it wouldn’t be good if I said it was normal, and it turns out you have bigger problems that I’m not aware of! So I just don’t know if you’re responding normally…you’d have to talk to a doctor or counselor if you think you’re not dealing with your dog’s death well.

But, I can say that you’ve just been through a very traumatic experience. And, traumatic experiences do trigger emotional responses, such as anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Not only are you mourning the loss of your beloved pet, you’re dealing with guilt and self-recrimination.

I’d venture to say that yes, what you’re going through is normal. You’re grieving and mourning and going through all those questions of “what if”…and those thoughts naturally bring feelings of sadness and depression.

If you feel you’re not dealing with your pet loss well, please do talk to a doctor or grief counselor. You may need to talk through the experience with someone objective and trained – in person, not online. Online forums like these are wonderful ways to express ourselves, but they’re not the same as talking through grief and self-recrimination with an expert.

Stay in touch – let me know how things are going! You may also want to join in on the conversations on my pet loss articles on Quips and Tips for Achieving Your Goals – so many people are dealing with guilt, depression, and loneliness when they lose a dog or cat. Sometimes it helps to know you’re not alone!

Best wishes,
Laurie

Nov 2, 2009 3:26 PM

Guest :

Well today I had to put my 12year old best friend to sleep. He had nose cancer and was struggling to breathe and he was starting to aspirate on his food. The vet said it was tough because the rest of him was still doing great. He was wagging his tail and anxious to leave just as always. He went so peacefully, but that wasn't Eliah, he was a high strung, anxious dog. I am so angry now and oh the pain is unbearable at times. Everytime I look at his sleeping spots it kills me and the fact he followed me everywhere I went even the bathroom....I feel like it will never be the same.