Familiarity can kill passion, making casual sex more exciting than committed sex. Here's how fear of intimacy in the bedroom makes casual sex exciting.

For some people, casual sex is risky, mysterious, and sometimes full of urgency. Casual sex is often exciting because chemistry and conquests are alive; causal sex has elements of fear, adventure and unlimited possibilities. The sympathetic nervous system is on full alert, blood pressure is high, and heart rate is racing during casual sex.

In casual sex, the moment is all you have. You’re not worried about what your partner thinks of you and you’re not concerned about what you think of them. You don’t have to fear rejection, and you can engage in fantasies and personas you wouldn’t normally consider. There may still be a sense of responsibility and even care for your partner, but there isn’t usually a commitment.

And there’s no intimacy to kill the mood. This is where fear of intimacy in the bedroom makes casual sex exciting.

The connection between fear of intimacy in the bedroom and casual sex

For some people, knowing too much about your sex partner is a turnoff. Emotional intimacy makes you vulnerable and open for rejection, hurt, and even attack. Emotional intimacy renders you powerless to protect your heart and mind, and that may not get - or keep - the engines humming. Fear of intimacy in the bedroom can lead to casual sex.

Commited sex and fear of intimacy in the bedroom

Committed sex usually involves knowledge of one another: personalities mesh, habits are explored, quirks familiar, and hopes and dreams shared. Emotional intimacy exists. For most couples, emotional intimacy leads to heightened sexual attraction and more physical expressions of love and commitment. Sexual experimentation is more likely when there's no fear of intimacy in the bedroom, and sexual satisfaction is achieved more often. The focus in committed sex is on usually deeper connections and more emotional satisfaction (and maybe an orgasm or two).

Is committed or casual sex better?

It depends on you: your past, your perspective, and your preferences. Some people view committed sex with as much distaste as others view casual sex. It's is a matter of personal opinion and choice, but fear of intimacy does change your preferences. If you're not into emotional intimacy, then you may not enjoy committed sex.

As with most issues, casual sex versus committed sex isn't black and white. The mystery, urgency, and risk of casual sex at one end of the spectrum gradually morphs into the trust, intimacy, and mind-body-soul connection of committed sex. Similar to the three stages of love, committed and casual sex exists on a continuum.

If you found Fear of Intimacy in the Bedroom: Is Casual Sex or Committed Sex More Passionate? interesting, try:

• Men and Women's Sexual Arousal Rates
• Fear of Marriage
• After You've Betrayed Your Spouse

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