Difficulty of Self-Disclosure and Building Trust

The Perils of Revealing Personal Information in Relationships

Jun 11, 2009

It often becomes difficult to reveal and share personal information as individuals fear indifference, social rejection and betrayal by others.

Self-disclosure is an important part in building friendships and relationships and in general it increases liking and creates a bond of trust and confidence among people. However, opening up to other people entails certain risks and dangers as releasing or giving away personal information may make people vulnerable.

Fear of Negative Responses Like Indifference and Social Rejection

When an individual decides to share personal information with another person in order to start a relationship, a lot depends upon the reaction of the other person. They may embrace and reciprocate efforts and share personal information of their own and as a result, this creates the first stages of a relationship.

However, when the other person closes up and is indifferent to disclosure, it creates an atmosphere of tension. The efforts of disclosure and of starting a relationship with that person will be in vain and if such occasions are repeated they may have an adverse reaction on the individual and these individuals may become more hesitant to make future attempts at self-disclosure.

In addition, some personal information may lead to social rejection. This may happen when it comes to more delicate information, such as epilepsy or sexual orientation. A person may be much more hesitant to reveal themselves when they fear rejection.

Fear of Losing Control or Betrayal

When it comes to self-disclosure, not everyone can actually be trusted. Personal information placed in the wrong hands may come back to haunt the individual. The other person who has knowledge about personal failings or embarrassing characteristics may use this information to control, manipulate or belittle the person in the future. In such cases, one loses control and the other gains power.

When people share personal information it is often assumed that the knowledge of the information be handled respectfully and in a confidential manner. Nonetheless, often the other person does not abide by those principles and reveals one’s intimate personal information to others. The betrayal of secrets may then lead to a growing sense of mistrust and a decrease in future self-disclosure.

Consequently, many people are wary of sharing personal information to others. Paradoxically, it may be easier to reveal personal details to a stranger on a bus whom one is likely not to see again as opposed to a friend or a relative. Yet people mostly handle self-disclosure with care and control the personal information that they share by revealing only as much - or little – as they feel comfortable with in any given situation.

The copyright of the article Difficulty of Self-Disclosure and Building Trust in Psychology is owned by Arash Farzaneh. Permission to republish Difficulty of Self-Disclosure and Building Trust in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.