Everyone grieves differently, but there are some "normal" responses people feel when dealing with grief. Support groups & cybergrieving can ease the mourning process.
Dealing with grief and the mourning process is different from person to person, but there are several "normal" responses to the death of a loved one.
Losing someone you love can be unbearably painful, whether it was an accident or long illness. Sometimes death is a horrible shock (such as a car accident or suicide). Other times the death of a loved one can be a welcome relief after a long sickness. The circumstances surrounding death can affect the grieving process, and whether you choose a grief support group, bereavement counseling, or simply grieve on your own.
Dealing with grief and the mourning process is unique to different individuals.
The response to death – the grieving process – is different for everyone. You'll grieve differently if you've lost your child, your elderly mom or dad, or an intimate partner. Some people develop a whole new appreciation for life and learn to treasure every second they have on earth. Others become deeply depressed and never emerge from mourning. Instead of dealing with grief, they repress or swallow their emotions and thoughts about death.
Here are some normal responses to the death of a loved one, and four ways to deal with grief.
Dealing With Grief: The Normal Responses to the Death of a Loved One
There is no standard or "normal" response to death and the mourning process. Everybody's personality is different, which translates to a wide variation of reactions and coping mechanisms. Accepting yourself and others' response to death is an important part of the grieving process. If you join a grief support group for widowers or widowers, you'll learn how others cope with loss. This will help with your own grieving process.
Dealing with grief and the mourning process can a cause of depression.
Dealing With Grief and the Mourning Process
1. Grief Support Groups
Sometimes talking to people who have experienced similar losses can help you cope with your grief. Just knowing you're not alone can be reassuring; spending time with people who care helps you deal with your painful feelings. The bereavement counselor who leads the support group should be experienced and supportive; if not, try a different bereavement support group.
2. Cybergrieving
Many people are now using sites like MySpace and their own personal blogs to deal with their feelings about the death of a loved one. To help you deal with grief, visit the blog or website of your loved one and you can write to them on it. You can write poetry, letters, songs, or even a one-liner, simply stating how you feel and what you think. To help you deal with grief, you can say good-bye.
3. Letting Go of the Past
Feeling your grief, anger, guilt, and all your emotions is important. Let yourself grieve. You may feel like your heart will break or you'll fall into a black pit and never get out – but you have to feel your feelings before you can heal. Letting go of the past is healthy and appropriate, and it'll help your grieving process.
4. Letting Time Heal
It's a cliché because it's true: time does heal when you're dealing with grief. Whether it completely heals ALL wounds is a different story, but it does dull the pain a little. Your feelings of loss and sadness may never go away, but with time the grieving process will lighten.
When you're dealing with grief, you'll experience ups and downs. You'll feel good one day (or hour) and horrible the next. Let yourself feel your emotions, happy or sad, and try to let go of your guilt. You'll forget your grief for moments which will eventually become hours...this doesn't dishonor your loved one. Enjoying life and moving on is part of the grieving process – and something your loved one would want for you.
Grieving the death of a pet or even a friendship can be as traumatic as losing a family member or partner. Sometimes it's worse, depending on the circumstances surrounding the death.
If you found Dealing With Grief: Normal Responses to the Death of a Loved One helpful, try:
The copyright of the article Dealing With Grief and the Mourning Process in Psychology is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Dealing With Grief and the Mourning Process in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
hi my grandfather just past away last night of brain cancer , it was two
month limit they gave him to live . this website will be used alot by me ,
i am in shock right now that he's gone , i am sure tomorrow at services it
will hit me .
Feb 24, 2009 12:56 AM
Guest :
My Grandmother died last night, she was suffering from depression since my
grandfather died 4 years ago. i'm really going to miss her, but she can
finally be where she wants
Feb 27, 2009 6:54 PM
Guest :
I had a good friend and co-worker die 17 days ago and today I attended his
memorial service. I have never experienced the death of a young person
before. This is harder than my divorce. I miss my friend. There is a lot
of guilty feelings but my brain keeps trying to tell my mind that it is
once again being unreasonable. I hope that my family can be a good enough
support system for me during this process.
Mar 2, 2009 7:15 PM
Guest :
My sister passed away February 12th at the age of 43. I feel horrible all
the time but can't really tell anyone how bad it is for me because I have
to be strong for my family. I talk to my mom and younger sister almost
every day and my brother-in-law dialy to check on him because I'm 500 miles
away from all of them. My big sister was,and is, my hero, my best friend,
and my protector. She always told me the same thing about me. We're only 14
months apart in age so we were close growing up and I don't know how I can
make it through the day sometimes. I feel like a huge hole is in my soul
and I won't ever be whole again. I don't really sleep anymore because I
can't. The Lord knows I love him but I can't understand why he took my
sister and why he wouldn't give her back before we buried her. I MISS MY
SISTER AND WANT HER BACK. By the way, God made my sister a star in the sky.
I saw her when I was driving home to make the arrangements and be with my
family and now I see the same star every night except 2 since that night
and trust me it's a star I've never seen before. Anyway, everyone who reads
this needs to know, NO matter how far away you live or how busy you are
PLEASE tell the people you love how much you love them as often as you can
because every day I'm now reminded I no longer have the pleasure of hearing
my sisters voice and her beautiful laugh. God knows how much I miss her.
Mar 4, 2009 1:10 PM
Guest :
I lost my dad on February 24th 2009 and I didn't know I could hurt like
this. He was a strong man and I feel he tricked me in his passing. He
wouldn't let us think about his sickness, he acted as though he wasn't sick
that's why I feel tricked. My dad had Parkinson's, Heart Failure, Multiple
Myeloma, Lung Cancer and Kidney Failure. He was a dialisis patient and
that's what he put all of his bad days on. He wouldn't accept any of the
other sicknesses. And he died a strong man. He couldn't get treated for
the cancers because of the kidney failure...thus he handled his battle with
cancer as a "TROOPER" that's what I liked to call him. That's
all I can say at the moment and I hope I learn to cope and deal with his
death and move on.
Mar 28, 2009 10:35 AM
Guest :
i lost my father on march 22 2009 i miss him so much he never
stop mourning the loss of his brother who died in spetember of 2008 ... i need support with the help of my family during this diffcult time for
me .. i cry alot and i just cant sleep at times or eat .. can you
help with how long does the grieving process take??? thank you for
this website
Mar 30, 2009 9:58 AM
Guest :
i have never really lost someone close to me until i lost my hero and my
best friend my mother. She battled cancer for a year and i know she's not
in any pain more the hurt is so great even to months has past and it feels
like an lifetime has pasted. tell the people in your lif that love them
everyday because you will never know when the last time you will see them
or hear their voice.
Apr 21, 2009 8:21 PM
Guest :
My mother passed on April 17, 2009... I still feel in complete shock, i
thought the day of the funeral it would hit me like a ton of bricks and
still i feel shes going to walk through the door any minute. Why is my
brain stuck in denial and how do i work through this?
Jun 2, 2009 5:11 PM
Guest :
My father past away about a month ago from leukemia and I am still in
shock. I think about him all the time and become paralyzed. My dad was my
world. I finally started going to school for law enforcement and I knew it
would make him proud especially when I graduate from the academy. know I
just come home from work and site here in awe.
Jul 8, 2009 9:09 PM
Guest :
I understand how everyone feels. I lost my brother and we were very close.
He was 38 and there is not a day that goes by that I dont think about him
or miss him. I always wonder if there was maybe something more I could of
done for him. I talk to him every night just to let him know I will never
forget him.
Jul 18, 2009 1:09 PM
Guest :
my dad died in april. also from brain tumor and 2 months after diagnosed.
He was my only close family and my best friend. I have no idea how to keep
going on as friends and distant family did not help or support me in any
way. I feel i have noone anymore. I miss him so terrible.
Sep 1, 2009 7:18 AM
Guest :
A couple of months i was faced with having to deal with loosing one of my
best friends. she was terminally ill and we always knew that it was only a
matter of time. In knowing this it still did not prepare me for the shock
and pain that i felt when i realised that i would not be able to speak to
her again. What held me together a bit was the fact that i felt she was
still around even though i could not see her, but never the less it was
still a hard thing to come to terms with, over the past 2 weeks i had to
have my horse put down and this weekend my cat was run over and my nan
passed away - at the moment i feel numb, i ache, drained, confused - the
main question why me??? Even though i am so sad at the moment, i cant help
but answer my own question - why not me? there are so many people out there
going through the same thing if not worse - some people dont even get a
chance to get to know their loved ones and i have been blessed to have been
able to have had these people/ animals in my life if only for a little
while. As my mum said to me we are only leant to one another, you have to
make the most of them whilst they are here.
Sep 18, 2009 8:08 PM
Guest :
We lost our dear son Mickael who was 32 and our beautiful grand son gabriel
3 in a tragic road accident caused by another driver Justin 25 who
committed suicide (left a letter). he drove head on to a coming Bdouble who
lost control and the 70 tonnes container fell on mickael's car crushing
them to death instantly (so we dearly hope) Mickael was just behind Justin.
This happened the 9 July and our poor daughter in law Nicole 31 our little
princess has lost everything. It is so horrible to deal with it. Thanks for
listening
Sep 19, 2009 5:40 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
My heart goes out to you,
and I thank you for sharing your story here, everyone. Talking about it is
part of the mourning process -- and part of honoring and remembering the
loved one you lost.
In sympathy, Laurie
Sep 26, 2009 7:20 PM
Guest :
my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer July 11th , 2008. we lost him August
15th , 2009. He passed the day before his 61st birthday. My sister and I
were both holding his hand when he took his last breath. THe first two
weeks after his death seemed to be ok. I kept busy with work and kids etc,
but now after a month has passed , I feel numb. I keep wanting to call him
and tell him all that is going on. IT has been the most difficult time in
my life. I just want to say that I hope they find a cure for cancer,
because I have met soooo many people that have either lost someone from
cancer , or have someone who is fighting it.
Nov 6, 2009 11:33 AM
Guest :
hi, my mom passed away on September 7th 2008, exactly one week after the
birth of my first child. she was only able to see a photo of her only grand
daughter as she was hospitalized at the time. my grief lies deep in the
happiness i share as i watch my daughter grow. its hard to think that the
happiness of her birth will always be followed by the loss of my mom. i
think the only thing that keeps me going is my daughters happy, loving
spirit which is so much like my mom. i guess god has his way of working
things out.
Mar 7, 2007
