Everyone grieves differently, but there are several "normal" responses that many people go through. The grieving process is often alleviated by grief support groups.
Losing someone you love can be unbearably painful, whether it was an accident or long illness. Sometimes death is a horrible shock (such as a car accident or suicide). It can also be a welcome relief after a long sickness. The circumstances surrounding death can affect the grieving process, and whether you choose a grief support group, bereavement counseling, or simply grieve on your own.
Dealing with grief is a very individual process.
The response to death – the grieving process – is different for everyone. You'll grieve differently if you've lost your child, your elderly mom or dad, or an intimate partner. Some people develop a whole new appreciation for life and learn to treasure every second they have on earth. Others become deeply depressed and never emerge from mourning. Instead of dealing with grief, they repress or swallow their emotions and thoughts about death.
Here's some normal responses to the death of a loved one, and four ways to deal with grief.
Dealing With Grief: Normal Responses to the Death of a Loved One
- Loss of appetite
- Insomnia, or sleeping all the time
- Conflicting feelings (relief, guilt, sadness, shame, numbness, anger)
- Physical illnesses, such as colds or headaches
- Depression
- Feelings of anxiety and fear
There is no standard or "normal" response to death. Everybody's personality is different, which translates to a wide variation of reactions and coping mechanisms. Accepting yourself and others' response to death is an important part of the grieving process. If you join a grief support group for widowers or widowers, you'll learn how others cope with loss. This will help with your own grieving process.
Dealing with grief can be one of the causes of depression.
1. Dealing With Grief: Grief Support Groups
Sometimes talking to people who have experienced similar losses can help you cope with your grief. Just knowing you're not in it alone can be reassuring; spending time with people who care helps you deal with your painful feelings. The bereavement counselor who leads the support group should be experienced and supportive; if not, try a different bereavement support group.
2. Dealing With Grief: Cybergrieving
Many people are now using sites like MySpace and their own personal blogs to deal with their feelings about the death of a loved one. To help you deal with grief, visit the blog or website of your loved one and you can write to them on it. You can write poetry, letters, songs, or even a one-liner, simply stating how you feel and what you think. To help you deal with grief, you can say good-bye.
3. Dealing With Grief: Letting Go of the Past
Feeling your grief, anger, guilt, and all your emotions is important. Let yourself grieve. You may feel like your heart will break or you'll fall into a black pit and never get out – but you have to feel your feelings before you can heal. Letting go of the past is healthy and appropriate, and it'll help your grieving process.
4. Dealing With Grief: Letting Time Heal
It's a cliché because it's true: time does heal when you're dealing with grief. Whether it completely heals ALL wounds is a different story, but it does dull the pain a little. Your feelings of loss and sadness may never go away, but with time the grieving process will lighten.
When you're dealing with grief, you'll experience ups and downs. You'll feel good one day (or hour) and horrible the next. Let yourself feel your emotions, happy or sad, and try to let go of your guilt. You'll forget your grief for moments which will eventually become hours...this doesn't dishonor your loved one. Enjoying life and moving on is part of the grieving process – and something your loved one would want for you.
Grieving the death of a pet or even a friendship can be as traumatic as losing a family member or partner. Sometimes it's worse, depending on the circumstances surrounding the death.
If you found Dealing With Grief: Normal Responses to the Death of a Loved One helpful, try:
