Adoptive Parents Invest More: Parenting Styles Differ If Children Are Adopted or Biological

Adoptive parents treat their children differently than biological parents do – in numerous ways. Parenting methods, styles of discipline, the amount of time spent together, and even meals as a family are different depending on whether the kids are adopted or biological. These are the results of one study, and don't indicate that all adoptive parents invest more or treat their kids better than all biological parents.

Most current legal and academic arguments state that children are best off with their biological parents. Evolutionary psychologists argue that parents dote on biological children more than their adoptive children; it's about ensuring your genes survive long after you do and making your mark on the planet in a healthy and socially acceptable way.

Adoptive parents invest more

A recent study conducted by sociologists at Indiana University at Bloomington and the University of Connecticut revealed that adoptive parents invest more time and money on their adopted children than do biological parents. Two-parent adoptive couples read and talk to their kids more. They discuss problems and are more likely to eat meals together.

Does birth order affect adopted children the same way it does biological children?

Not too surprising

These findings make sense on several levels. Adoptive parents are generally older and wealthier than biological parents, so they have more resources to invest. They presumably can't or choose not to have their own biological children and may perceive their adopted kids as rare and precious gifts. The adoptive parents feel so blessed with their children and wanted them so badly in the first place that they treat them exceptionally well.

Adoptive parents may also have strong innate or learned tendencies to nurture a family – that's why they pursue adoption – and this makes them more motivated to spend time with their children. After all, they endured the lengthy, expensive, and energy-draining procedures that occur before and after adoption. They filled out paperwork, provided references, underwent interviews, and invested hundreds if not thousands of dollars in the process. Some even flew halfway around the world to appear in court and do battle in foreign justice systems.

Perhaps people who want kids that bad are predisposed to invest more of everything in their children. (Random thought: Is sibling rivalry affected by being adopted or biological?)

Impact on society

The results of this study do more than vindicate stars like Madonna and Angelina Jolie! It could affect how often and easy it is for same-sex couples to marry and adopt children. A contemporary argument against same-sex marriage is that biological children are better off with their biological parents. This may no longer be the case (if it ever was). According to Professor Brian Powell of the Indiana University at Bloomington, past studies didn't include two-parent adoptive studies in their research on parental investments and interactions. Instead they just compared biological parents with stepparent households or single parents. This current study forges new paths into parenting, marriage, and raising kids – for couples of all sexes.

The study also challenges the traditional view that adoption isn't normal and kids are better off with their natural parents. In turn, this could dramatically change how the courts and adoption facilities handle future adoptions – both in North America and overseas.

Oct 14, 2008 11:43 AM

Guest :

I'm not surprised that a study would find that adoptive parents spend more money and time on their children than biological parents. After all, they have invested significantly in the idea that they can be better parents than the child's own biological parents.

I wonder, as a correlation, whether these adoptive parents also have tendencies to be more controlling and possessive than biological parents. It seems logical, since parenthood and family is so valuable to them. Moreover, they may feel tremendous pressure to raise perfect children.

Nov 23, 2008 8:19 AM

Guest :

I was adopted into a family with a natural child,7 years older than self (agaisnt soc.workers' advice!!). Parents favoured their older child. For example, she hit me, she was told 'Don't hit anyone' But if I borrowed something of hers, that she didn't even use, I'd have to buy a replacement. If I made any mistakes, some of which were their natural child's fault, my life was made hell. Cos my real parents weren't married I was seen as being inherently bad. When I got older, the adoptive dad got more and more possessive (good point made in previous comment). Adopters who do their job properly will probably let researchers into thier lives, but I guess that don't happen vice-versa!! Thanks for reading.

Jan 23, 2009 11:06 AM

Guest :

no parent should treet an adoptid child difrent than their own... they wanted them in to ther family... sadly it seems that people do treet them diffrently... i have a child wh is the world to me i would not have her any other way ses my flesh and blod. I am a dad and i love my family. if i ever had the money to adopt i would try my best to be equil i would not want to waste the time to adopt just to treet someone les than another. i wish life was better for the other person who commented... sometimes people take things for granted and that can be with adoption as wel as birth. but love should be even.

Apr 21, 2009 5:10 PM

Guest :

I was adopted, I am the oldest, and as soon as my siblings were born I was the odd one out. My mother treated me like crap every time she had the chance. She had a drinking problem and knew I was the quiet introvert, so she would take all of her problems out on me when she would get drunk. there wasn't a night that I didn't come home from school with anxiety, always wondering what reason she would come up with for beating me tonight. I hated it, I hated her. I am older now, 25, my siblings are 20 and 12. I moved out as soon as I could, didn't talk to her for about 2 years. We live in the same town, but it's like we're world apart. She never calls, not even on my last b-day. I talk to my sister, who for some odd reason hates me as well. She's getting married in September and I'm not even in the wedding,, my other sister is, I'm just a guest.
My mother thinks I'm a failure, I have my own apartment, I'm about to pay my car off, I'm in school for nursing, and all my mom can do is complain about how she doesn't like who I'm with and how I need to get a life.
My sister on the other hand is 20 yrs old, cannot hold a job, she lives with her fiances mother and is raising her fiances sisters child as her own and living on food stamps and wic. She's not going to school and she's getting married. CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT TO ME???
My sister can do no wrong in my mothers eyes.